Friday, May 14, 2010

The Boys Consider Graduation Weekend

Readers, graduation weekend has arrived and the town is full of guests and activities. As for the boys, they usually devote the Friday night of graduation weekend to seducing sorostitutes' mothers at the Sandbar.

But there's also a new event in town tonight that might be of interest to some: for the first time, KU is adding a special graduation ceremony, the Lavender Ceremony, for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered students. In this ceremony, "instead of the typical academic robes and gowns, participants are encouraged to wear whatever they’d like." (LJ-World).

Chip: "I'll bet the costumes will be fabulous. Isn't that a gay word? Am I allowed to use that word?"

The announcement of the ceremony prompted the usual wave of homophobia on the LJ-World talkbacks, but most of the comments have been removed at this point, leaving only a few enraged frat boys there to bicker with the Larryville liberals:

ChiHawkInKS says: "I just want to be honored as a straight man... thats all. Where is my ceremony?"

Also in the talkback mix, as always, is "BarryPenders," the legendary and ever-present talkbacker who ends every post with a bitter "Darwin bless you all." We can rarely understand his thoughts, but we find him endlessly fascinating and want to meet him.

Barrypenders says:

"This sounds like PAD 'Profiling'.

But, that is the hypocracy of PADs. Mexican Lawbreakers are 'Profiled' out to break residency laws of the country.

C'est le vie for PADs.

Stimulus, PAD Hypocracy, and Posercare live unprecedented

Darwin bless us all"

7 comments:

professor of anthrobloguery said...

I think barrypenders is also kooter on the larryville forum.

bp said...

Yes, I exist on every local discussion board.

Darwin bless you.

Astute Observations! said...

Yah, fuck all that shit -- look at the ass pony gracing the undies run spot now! Mercy. I'd plow through that like a weekender at the sorority on lockdown with all the wine coolers in my jock!

What is this other bullshit of which you speak?

And how can you speak when there is such clearly defined ass on display!

IS IT KIP WHO UNFUCKS UP THIS COLUMN!?!

That bitches.

sleazeball said...

I heart fuck jokes.

Roller Derby! said...

I fuck heart jokes!

--And sweet, sweet blondie pie!

unfuckers unwelcome said...

What's the matter with Kansas? Well bitches this is another instance where a little bit of knowledge is not a good thing really. Are we not more than our sexuality? Is that the totality of our identity, how we obtain our jouissance? "Hi everybody! I got a degree from KU and also, I'm gay! I'm different from the other fuckers going down the hill."

Lascivious lavender love-in of low licking lustful labia lapping...I'll bet Chip will be there, thinking that it would be a good place to find a belated Mother's day gift.

WE DON'T SPEAK FUCKING FRENCH HERE! said...

I thought he might just hunt for some cougar-tail!

Manther-tail?

--Yes, manther-tail! Even the cougar will not have doughy.