Yes, the cubs performed in a talent show in hopes of winning a "group date" with their cougar, but she opted for a guy who cleverly imitated Borat's sexual innuendoes as opposed to the sensitive man in the group, whose Shakespearean monologue failed to sufficiently impress the ever-horny cougar.
We're three episodes in and still no one has had sex, but ads for next week's program reveal that one lucky fellow will soon be getting some one-on-one time in the "cougar den" (yes, Cl.thier, this term is used on the program).
A discussion of "cougars" has been raging in the LC's talkback section, and today we offer a few choice thoughts:
Cl.thier, local tunesmith, questions the entire mythos of 'cougars': "Yes, we'd all like to think there are incredibly hot 40ish women roaming random bars, prowling swanky nightspots, just looking for hot, no-strings-attached "wild jungle-cat sex," but is it really just a ploy, a front to lure attractive young men into a conventional domestic relationship with an aging woman afraid of being a spinster? In the end, is the "cougar" a strategy devised by women to play into male sexual fantasies reminiscent of the "Mrs. Robinson Scenario"? I mean, after crazy cougar sex, is said lady going to get up, saunter into the bathroom, open up her days-of-the-week pillbox, and pop some calcium tablets to fend off osteoporosis and estrogen pills to level out those post-menopausal hormones? Is the cougar den really a sex palace, or just a carefully designed trap? My heart says sex den, but my mind screams a warning. Wait, did I say my heart? Wrong muscle all together."
The Red Vixen, from California, a rare female perspective in this boys' club, insists that the 'cougar' is indeed based on sex: "Clearly, what defines a cougar is the nature of the relationship - for the cougar, it's about sex. That's not my question, though I think we can safely say cougars exist, just maybe not in the numbers you all think (or wish) they do. My question is: how old does a woman have to be to be a cougar, and how young (i.e. what's the minimum age difference) does the *bobcat* need to be for this *relationship* to be an encounter with a cougar?" [She was later told by an expert that a cougar must be at least 42 and financially better off than her twenty-something sex-toy].
Chip, quoted at Quinton's this week, weighed in: "If I ever start to prefer a sorostitute's mother to a sorostitute herself, it's time to put this old stud out to pasture."
The boys had an occasion this week to turn their attention to younger women when platinum-selling country-pop artist Taylor Swift, 20, made a surprise visit to KU to sit in on a Media and Society class (appropriately enough) with a friend of hers who attends college here. Naturally, the Twitters of other students alerted a large crowd to her presence, many of whom were waiting outside when the class ended. According to the UDK, one male fan (sounding suspiciously like Chip), shouted at the singer: "You look pretty."
Richard: "Although she falls well outside what Dr. C calls my 'gentleman's seven,' I'd have probably banged Ms. Swift, had she visited my class, just because she's a celebrity and I think it would have made a good story to tell later students."
Chip: "It's my understanding that every attractive celebrity has made a celebrity-sex tape, but so far I'm unable to locate one from Ms. Swift. But I did find this picture of her driving a truck, which is nice. Notice how she's looking back over her shoulder as if to say, 'Hey, you wanna ride in my truck?'"