Thursday, May 20, 2010

Hipsters Playing Air Guitar / Shocking Kansas Crime Story of the Week!

Since is too lazy to post today's Style Scout in a timely fashion and since A. Rusc.n has apparently more-or-less retired from the local hipster photography scene, we turn today to a slideshow from Pitchweekly to find some hipsters for you to peruse.

Hipsters love air guitar competitions because they require even less actual talent than singing karaoke. Here are three photos from last week's air guitar night at the Jackpot.

We suspect this fellow is playing something off Nirvana's MTV unplugged set:

And this woman? The Breeders, maybe?

Some sort of complicated math-rock for this scholarly-looking hipster, no doubt.


Larryville's crime wave continues this week with armed robberies of Taco Johns' and a daring daylight heist at Maurice's clothing store, but the most shocking crime this week took place in another part of the state: Salina.

Here's the LJ-World headline:

"9 Year Old Punched, Has Puppy Stolen."

Yes, it seems that two older girls (15 and 18) in an SUV, hopped out, punched the young fellow, and stole his German Shepherd puppy. (luckily, it was recovered later).

Dr. X: "Salina bitches are the worst."

And from the LJ-World talkback, Tom Shewmon says: "At least the boy is learning from a very young age how women will treat him throughout life."

And Barry Penders, bewildering as usual, says:

"Whew! Thank goodness it wasn't an African American Government teacher like Sherry Lynn Davis that beat a 13 year old child.

Man those bullies that pick on children should be talked to.

Stimulus, PAD Bullies, and Posercare live unprecedented

Darwin bless us all."


They certainly are! said...

Fucking bitches heisted a woof dog!?!

From a nine year old!?!


I don't know what you fucking Kansassans fucking think about dick nor diddly, but you do NOT fuck with a man's dog!

I want these bitches found, fucking strung up by their giblets and fucking FLAYED for this shit. The sacred bond between a man and his vehicle for fuck (see: walkin dog in park) is considerly deeper than the female analogue of a woman and her double-down dildo/ jonny-cum-fucky. Admittedly, womens can get deeper, but I digest. Fuck.

This shit rubs me raw. That might also be myself. Still, you do not fuck with the dog. By the power of waxpole, Noggle, I demand you head up a militia and have these bitches bitched-up sunny!

--I demand the worst punishment imaginable: exposure to a shirtless and sweat Smilie.

punch a hipster day! said...

Rollin' through Salina in the SUV
see a little fucker with his doggie
out the car and punch that ass
scoop up the puppy and hit the gas
let him get closer to lick my clit
look at these crazy hos do that shit
front seat back seat dashboard too
And you know, Sugar Dick, we're comin' for you

The bitches have internets! said...

Holy shit!

Now they're poodle-lapin the cooch!

This shit cannot stand, Noggle!

Grab yo bat--We gonna bust much ass when wr roll through Salina and whomp on every minivan-driving mutha fucka we see!

--Im gonna go Medieval Keneval on that ass

fight the power! said...

I love when the ladies are rapping in the comments section, but this dog-thievery just cannot stand!