Thursday, September 18, 2008

Sex on the Hill Has Arrived! / Plus, Some Sad Larryville News: The Gaslight is Closing!

Today is one of the boys' favorite days of the year: the special Sex on the Hill insert has made its semesterly appearance in the university paper! This special section arguably reached its climax (get it!) a few years back when our friendliest Quinton's waitress published an in-depth piece on faking orgasms, but today marks a pretty good return to form with amusing pictures of simulated student-fucking and hard-hitting articles with titles like "Oral Sex Provides Favor For Partner." One particularly amusing piece follows four young ladies as they discuss (a la Sex and the City) their various sexploits (such as sex in the Chi Omega Fountain).

Sex on the Hill is oft-noted for its amusing advertisements in which local businesses "sex it up," and Richard is especially pleased by this ad for the Replay and Jackpot (click to enlarge!):



Richard: "Dude, the chick getting spanked is totally the girl that pours my Boulevard Wheats every Sunday afternoon! I thought she was so innocent! And I think the chick spanking her may be Nanda, looking very Scarlett Johannsen-y. I went to a party at her house once! I have imagined this scenario so many times!"

Chip is expected to be at the Sex on the Hill party at Abe and Jake's tonight, while Richard is opting for the Jenny Lewis concert instead (Richard: "Sure, the crowd at Abe and Jake's will be sexier, but in my mind Jenny and I will be the only ones in the room at the Granada").

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In less pleasant news, the Gaslight Tavern (North Larryville's home for hippies and freaks and tunes) is closing later this fall due to "extenuating circumstances.

Chip: "Once, as I was going into Johnny's, I saw a punk festival happening there. I can't even tell you how scared I was!"

Richard: "I vow to party on the North side a few more times before this sad day is upon us."

12 comments:

barstool counter said...

The Gaslight is closing?!? This means that there will be three less total bar stools in Lawrence...O, the horror!

bartenters unite! (in lingerie) said...

Those are some hot looking... "bartenters"? Is that some sort of vague reference to a boner? Or, perhaps, just a horrible spelling oversight on the part of the ad writers.

tentpole! said...

Yeah, let's choose to believe it's all intentional...and quite clever!

My goodness, I never knew my Sunday bartenter enjoyed spankings!

a staunch gaslight defender said...

But it will also be one less place to hear sweet, sweet bluegrass.

(but perhaps this is good news for the Replay patio shows).

The Governor of Pain! said...

Finally, the municipality begins to carry out our evil schemes. You trenchant hoes doubted our plans to begin to bring down your smelly hippie institutions... but our plans to install lawrence's very own light and power district have begun!

Slowly, one by one, your dive-ass bars that scare poor Kip and his homely red state values will succumb to the power of our red-tape and 10$ a drink needs. Soon, Clothier will be singing nothing but songs by Kill Hannah and Quinton's will fall under the beveled-edge of our martini glasses!

Oh yes, hippies, hipsters and otherwise not-for-sales... your days are numbered... MUHHUHAHAHHAHAHA!

--Long Live the Municipality!

dive bar lover said...

Dr. X, I will run my own dive bar out of the N.ggleShack before I see this town turned into a yuppie haven with a strict dress code like the Power and Light District!

Dr. Candelaria said...

It's sad to lose a place like the Gaslight. Although I could never get a cup of coffee (just a regular schmo seeking a cuppa joe) at this supposed coffee shop/bar, and the music was always too loud inside, and the place was very, very small inside, I shed a little tear for the loss of the place that introduced me to the Hosty Duo.

Will it still be open when we come to visit in October? If so, we should make an old-time stop there, complete with drunken stagger over the bridge!

Dr. Candelaria said...

And i hope you save a copy of Sex on the Hill for me. I've got a "spicy" present for you, Nog, that I meant to mail many months ago, but will be transporting with me.

spicy! said...

Oh, I like the sound of something so racy it can't even be transported through the mail!

I'll keep the Sex on the Hill for you (most of it can be read on-line, but you miss most of the ads that way!).

Yeah, I think the Gaslight is rocking through October. Let's try to venture over there!

spicy! said...

Oh, I like the sound of something so racy it can't even be transported through the mail!

I'll keep the Sex on the Hill for you (most of it can be read on-line, but you miss most of the ads that way!).

Yeah, I think the Gaslight is rocking through October. Let's try to venture over there!

one post chump said...

Man, spicy! was so excited they posted twice. I used to be able to post twice in a row like that in my younger days, but now I'm just lucky if my first post goes all the way through. How sad. Perhaps pictures of Jenny Lewis in overalls might help. Richard?

rock photographer said...

Ha ha...actually, I did try to take some Jenny photos. But I did a poor job!