Thursday, May 6, 2010

Stop Day Eve and Style Scout

Readers, don't you love it when Cinco de Mayo falls on the day before Stop Day Eve. It's such a smooth transition between last night's tequila shots and today's Jagermeister. How many sorostitutes do you plan to bang tonight? (Chip: "Three, in a row." Richard: "Three, at the same time." Captain Chanute: "Just one, but an exceptionally slutty one.").

In the meantime, enjoy today's Style Scout subjects.

First up is Sarah Wertzberger, 29, who claims to have been "Bjork’s hand double in a Matthew Barney art film." (Readers, are they fucking serious about these claims they make?). Sarah's fashion influences are "Civil war re-enactors, Geronimo, people who have fun with what they wear and African prints" and she wishes that Larryville had more "secret swimming holes" and "Lawrence townie pride."

Then there's Stephen Spacek, who was Scouted while "riding my fixed gear down Mass Street like a good townie." Spacek is a self-described "dirtbag" who "wear[s] lots of black band T-shirts and boot-cut jeans since I can’t fit my legs into “skinny jeans”; I wear Carhartt apparel in cold weather and overalls when I’m fishing."

Chip: "This looks like the kind of guy who fishes with dynamite."

Ladies and gents, are they stylish, or aren't they?

[P.S: For those of you who are merely here for the conversation about having sex with robots, you can find it in the comments section two posts down from this one].


exquisite corpse said...

Style Scout a mixed bag today - it seems the stream of consciousness creative writing experiment was in full effect for Ms. Bjork Hand-Double (possibly the most believable tidbit in the whole piece), but Mr. Spacek's entry was ridiculously mundane. "Jeans"?! "t-shirts"?! F for Fail.

I'd buy that for a dollar said...

I look forward to seeing the Richard and three sorostitutes picture on "look at this hipster fucking."

P.S.--I like her boots. Otherwise, not so much.

chip said...

Speaking of doubles, I'd like to serve as the cock-double in the next Sammy RyRy film, if you catch my meaning!

(I mean that I want to bang that porn star).

Anonymous said...

Fuck no.

Keith said...

Fuck no.

X the Executioner said...

Fuck no.