Sunday, May 23, 2010

Lost Fans Speak Out as the Series Finale Approaches / The Boys Consider San Francisco's "Masturbate-a-thon!"

Readers, tonight's Lost finale is the Super Bowl for geeks (complete with a ridiculously long pre-show retrospective and late-night interviews with Jimmy Kimmel). Richard has spent his weekend roasting a wild boar for his Lost party (no polar bears were available...yes, that's a Lost reference...if you don't get it, watch the fucking Apprentice tonight with the rest of the "normal" people).

On-line fanboy speculation is at a fever-pitch right now, much of it concerning the concert Kate was about to attend at the end of last week's episode:

Maxwell's Hammer says: "If you can't put 2 + 2 together and figure out that the concert is Lil' Shepherd's piano concert, I have no idea how you've followed the show for 6 seasons. Maybe you're like those babies who enjoy playing peak-a-boo, who are genuinly surprised and amused that mommy's face magically materialized out from behind her hand which you didn't realize she was attached to."

But let us venture beyond the petty talkbacks today and check out a more eloquent critical appreciation of the series from the LA-Times:

"There is something always at work beneath the surface in this show, a kind of structural poetry that embodies its themes of coincidence and fate through parallel actions and mirror images, visual and verbal echoes across space and time and, lately, worlds. (I speak of the flash-sideways universe in which even the dead castaways are alive, and thriving, and which may allow the characters to have their happy endings.) These devices are the meter and rhyme of "Lost," and — with the rhythms of the actors and the colors of the island — they've kept the show kind of beautiful, even when it hasn't made much sense or has wandered into unprofitable cul de sacs."

Richard: "Exactly right."

Chip: "Sounds like a standard academic attempt to justify liking a schlocky show about smoke monsters and time travel."


We reported yesterday about National Masturbation Month and our research into the subject continues to uncover important information, such as the existence of a May 30th event in San Francisco called the "Masturbate-a-thon," in which one can participate in numerous ways. Here's some info from the website:

Are you an Exhibitionist?
The daring can choose to become a masturbation porn star, showing all for our internet streaming cameras. The party will be featuring the kind of ribald fun to keep you wet and/or hard for hours. Sign up to masturbate live on-camera at the event in SF.

Are you a Voyeur?
You don't have to sign up as a masturbator to enjoy the event. Come as a spectator! To find out more about the cost, rules of respect or to reserve a space in voyeurs land, visit our spectator's page.

Attention Competitors
If you plan on challenging the World Record for Time you must be present by 10:30am PST to make the start.

Just want to Wank with others?
We also have spaces set up away from the cameras and voyeurs where you can masturbate with others. There are mixed gender, male only, and female only spaces.

Not Sure you want to be part of the live event?
You can join us by masturbating from home! Click here to find out how.

Chip: "I'll probably just choose the last option and masturbate from home. It will be a nice break from Chatroulette, but basically the same premise."

Richard: "I don't consider myself athletic by any means, but I think I could be a serious competitor in this event."

Honorable Reverend H: "This blog has really gone downhill while I'm out of the country, hasn't it?"

We'll leave you with a photo (courtesy of SFWeekly) of Team Lusty Lady, from last year's event, warming up before their participation:


I shall Spank It to Kate said...




...and for the first time -EVER- I am completely in agreement with Kip. Lost must be masturbated to first (and that's going to be hard since there is like FIVE FUCKING HOURS of Lost to wank the skank to.

But it is mere precursor to the MASTURBATIONTHON! This is the first really important telethon thing I have ever cared about. Shit. If Jerry Lewis told me I could spank it for charity -- we would have wiped out plagued years ago.

--But we must also remember to DVR the Family Guy... I am told that this is also very important (if not masturbatable to).

Family Values Masturbation Council said...

The family that masturbates together, stays together.

rubbing one out said...

Can we please have a full week's coverage of Masturbate-a-thon?