Wednesday, July 1, 2009

The Boys TV Pick of the Week! / Hipster PIck of the Day / Also, Babes We'd Bone Is Back Again!

The boys, of course, are consistently dismayed by the ever-increasing vulgarization of society, so when they heard about the new summer TV series called "Dance Your Ass Off," they naturally assumed it would be an attempt by Fox to cash in on the recent craze of dance-competition shows.

Imagine their surprise, however, when they realized the program was on the Oxygen channel and that the title was meant to be taken literally: yes, it's a dance competition for overweight people. As with other such competitions, one person is voted off each week, in this case, the person who is still too fat and can't dance very well.

Chip: "I'm sure the creators have good intentions here, but let's face facts. If people tune in, it's going to be because they think it's funny to watch fat people dance, with all that jiggling!"

Richard: "I suspect the program is ultimately too tasteful to find widespread appeal. However, I imagine that Fox's fall series called "More To Love" will be a huge hit. It's a dating show for overweight people."


When Canadian rock-duo Japandroids cancelled their recent Larryville show, many hipsters would have cried (if they had real emotions). Luckily, the band is making it up to the region tonight with an appearance at the Record Bar in KC.

Pitchfork gives their album "Post-nothing" a very solid 8.3 and writes of the song "Wet Hair": "...I'll be surprised if I play another song in 2009 as much as this one. Its structure is almost comically linear-- there's three lines in the whole thing, and the most ridiculous one gets repeated for nearly half of its three minutes, something about going to France to French kiss some French girls."

Well, the reviewer may not have accurately counted the lines, but the song is indeed short (but remarkably deep). Here are the lyrics in their entirety and you can listen in today's sidebar:

"She had wet hair
Say what you will
I don’t care
I couldn’t resist it

These girls are all
Bikini Kill
We need a ride to Bikini Island

We run the gauntlet
Must get to France
So we can French kiss some French girls"

Richard: "These few lines say more than many indie-hipster novelists manage to say in 300 page novels. I particularly love the middle stanza."

Chip: "Wet hair is indeed erotic. I think I'll spend the day at Highpointe Apartments, observing the wet hair of sorostitutes but, most importantly, getting some much needed Vitamin D."


The return of "Babes We'd Bone" was highly praised last week, with many readers saying that their boners returned as soon as the column began, even before they saw that picture of Isla Fisher.

Today's subject: Amy Adams. It's rare in Hollywood these days to find someone who combines powerful acting skills and extreme boneability, and we think that Ms. Adams may well become the new "America's Sweetheart," now that Julia Roberts is getting too old to bone (although we'd still bone her).

Let's take a look at this shot from Vanity Fair:

Richard: "Even her performance as a nun in John Patrick Shanley's Doubt gave me a boner. Should I go to confession about this, or is it normal?"

Chip: "I like her so much that I even saw that kiddie fairy-tale film called Enchanted. I found it quite enchanting, I must admit. Especially her breasts."


messy hands said...

Aren't Fisher and Adams sort of cut from the same cute/hot cloth? And when can I get my hands on that cloth, I need something to clean up with. Get it?

kleenex salesman said...

Yes, at the LC we go in for that cute/hot, sort of girl-next-door thing.

But why are the girls next door never really like that?

Elisha Cuthbert said...

Says who?

some of them want to be abused said...

Clearly, we must have all lived in the wrong houses. But someone must have lived next to these beauties...probably more agony than pleasure. But oh, how pleasureful agony can be!

Anonymous said...

Where is the art or not art? The people spoke!

people pleaser said...

Richard: "That picture of Amy Adams is totally art."

Chip: "Agreed."

The Man with Two Brains said...

Sometimes Amy Adams is really hot. Like in Vanity Fair. She was so hot in that photo shoot. So hot that I suspect it of not being all her, perhaps a bit more art than substance.

Other times she's not hot, nor cute neither, like if she was the girl next door I wouldn't even notice her.

I wish I had two dicks. How great would that be?

chip! said...

I demand visual proof of the claim that Adams sometimes is neither hot nor cute, and it can't be something like Charlize Theron in Monster either!

(Chip: "Wait, that was Charlize Theron? I thought that was a man? That film will be exiting my DVD collection pronto.")

proof is in the pudding she musta ate said...

Okay, so some of you might argue she still looks cute here, but . . .

chip's boner said...

Point taken. But I'd still bone her.