Friday, July 3, 2009

Fourth of July Coverage / Plus, The Boys' Spotlight A Sexy Blog Out of KC!

If you're not headed to KC this weekend to see Kid Rock and the current incarnation of Lynyrd Skynyrd, you probably don't love America very much (Chip: "Pretty much the entire population of Forttt Scottt is going."). And Sandstone is offering a very special promotion along with the show: the usual $10 parking fee will be waived for any hybrid or other alternative energy vehicle.

Richard: "As I'm sure Sandstone well knows, almost no one going to this show drives a hybrid. They drive gas-guzzling pickups with bumper stickers that say 'Global warming ain't real' and 'Recycling is for pussies.' It's a very clever promotion that makes them look eco-friendly without actually having to lose any of that sweet parking money."

Chip: "I hope Skynyrd plays Freebird!"


Writing the local satire of the LC is quite rewarding (when people read it), but sometimes the boys long for a simple, personal blog where they chronicle their lives and loves. One such blog out of KC is called "May's Machete" and you can check it out here:

May describes herself as "a writer with a BA in Creative Writing and a MA in Museum Studies. I work in communications for an environmental non-profit. I am a feminist, geek, book-nerd, bisexual, ex-Baptist, pagan, vegetarian, Kansas City-raised cutie pie who's almost too darn smart for her own good." (Chip: "We have so much in common!").

Her blog posts, at their best, give us a powerful insight into her sexuality:

"This last song teleports me straight back to college in Pennsylvania where all of the nerds I was friends with up there were overwhelmingly goth or goth-inclined. Including the one chick I lost my lezzie virginity to and a lesbian that she later had a sub/domme relationship with... and who even later ended up being the first lesbian I had sexual relations with. Good times...And then I get all distracted thinking about how much fun it is to lick girls...MMmm... vagina!"

Chip: "In Forttt Scottt, we don't see the need to post our sexual exploits on the world-wide interweb for all to see. When we want to talk about pussy, we just go down to the town square and sit around and do it there, like normal Americans."

Richard: "I like her blog entry called 'Add some MMmm! to your morning' in which she talks about her love of the 'reverse-striptease.' She explains: 'I find the best way to start the ball rolling with this is to prance around naked after a shower and tell my man to follow me to the bedroom. Sit him down on the bed and shimmy about while you pick out your outfit and throw it piece-by-piece on to the floor. Because then you expose more bending down to pick it all up again as you start putting your clothes on.' I wonder if I'll ever meet this girl at Quinton's?"


the "l word" is "licktastic"! said...

Hold on...what's the difference between losing one's "lezzie virginity" and "the first lesbian I had sexual relations with"? Are there some sort of technical rules in lesbian banging that means losing one's virginity and having initial sexual relations is different? Is this some sort of Clinton-esque verbal parsing? This is why I would make an awful(ly good) lesbian. Any Sapphic seductresses out there who would like to reveal the finer points of girl-on-girl semantics?

the editorial board said...

Yes, if there are any Sapphic seductresses among our readership, please reveal yourselves and submit weekly columns describing (in great detail) those "girl-on-girl semantics."