Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Breaking News: A Local Zebra Attacks a Football Player! / Also, The Boys' Book Club Returns

In a rather odd story occurring just outside town, a Pitt State football player working on a local farm was attacked by a group of zebras being kept there:

"...the male charged him, bit his arm and would not let go. The animal was dragging Windscheffel by his arm when two of his fellow farm hands finally freed him." (LJ-World).

The player received a compound fracture and reportedly will not be able to play ball this season.

Richard: "This is surely the greatest animal story since Johnny Cash got in a fight with an ostrich. However, I suspect it may ruin my planned attempt to get the City Commission to pass a 'domestic zebra' bill."

Chip: "Pitt. State is my alma mater and now they're going to have a losing season because somebody in Larryville just had to have some pet zebras."


It's been a major summer of reading for the boys, with Richard joining a bizarre on-line cult dedicated to reading a 1000 page postmodern novel about tennis ( and Chip finally becoming immersed in the Twilight series ("You know, they really are quite romantic, but overall I still prefer the Sweet Valley High books."--Chip).

In their spare time, however, they've been rereading a local classic called Cows Are Freaky When They Look At You: An Oral History of the Kaw Valley Hemp Pickers, which features a foreword by William Burroughs and a delightful collection of tales of drugs and debauchery from Larryville's counterculture heyday.

Library Journal writes: "...the book is a nearly perfect memento of the utter pointlessness of the era's excesses."

Richard: "I'm working on a new oral history of Larryville's contemporary hipster and kickball culture. It's significantly less interesting, to be sure, but I still think it's important and hope to publish it locally to mild acclaim in the next few years. And I'll buy a PBR for whoever comes up with the best title and submits it in the comments section."

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