Thursday, July 9, 2009

"World's Largest Community Workout" recap! / Plus, The LC's Fashion Session! / Also, Today's Hipster Pick / And The Death of the Cheese Shoppe

Chip predicted 30 participants for yesterday's "record-setting" workout, but 2776 good citizens showed up to do jumping jacks in the sweltering heat, led by local fitness guru "Red Dog." The LJ-World includes this quote from someone named Corky:

“I wanted to be a part of this. I think it’s so exciting, my kids are here, my grandkids and I just think it’s really a neat thing...It’s wonderful just to do it, and it’s so Lawrence.”

Chip: "It really is so Lawrence, and that's precisely what's wrong with it. In Forttt Scottt, we took the time to actually fill out the Guiness Book paperwork, and as a result we hold the record for lining up the most pennies on the ground. Take that, Larryville health freaks!"


In many ways, the boys are consummate hipsters (they frequently attend Replay shows and kickball games). But one area in which they lag behind is fashion. Sure, they have a certain style (with their elastic pants and their socks-and-sandals), but no one would accuse them of being fashionable. Part of the problem, perhaps, is that they haven't learned how to construct a "look" from local thrift stores, such as Wild Man Vintage.

We recently spotlighted Katy Seib.l's local blog, Kansas Couture (, and in her newest entry she explains a recent "thrifting" experience of her own:

"While thrifting yesterday, I stumbled upon a beautiful pair of Pour La Victoire navy and white peep-toe booties and a darling structured vintage handbag. I knew I wanted to build a ladylike retro-inspired outfit around these items. This ruffly pink silk wrap blouse is perhaps the girliest item in my closet, so it was a great starting point. I layered it over a breezy strapless sundress and added a couple of simple accessories. After work, for a cooler, more casual look, I lost the shirt but kept its belt (worn backwards to show the cool details)."

Richard: "I keep hoping to run into Ms. Seib.l at the Replay sometime and strike up a conversation about 'thrifting' and blogging. But should I mention that we've featured her pictures twice now on the blog, once with a 'boning' joke?"

Chip: "I don't have a foot fetish or anything, but I wouldn't mind seeing some Quinton's waitresses wearing 'peep-toe booties.' It just sounds so cute, in a sort of disturbing way."

Perhaps a look at this week's Style Scout might reveal the kind of look the boys should be aiming for. Currently profiled is Spencer Osbourne who was "scouted" while (surprisingly!) shopping at Wildman Vintage. Spencer describes his look as "a mix betweeen trashy and classy," and says that he's been compared to Tom Cruise a lot. Take a look:

Chip: "That dude does look a little like Tom Cruise!"

So what do you think, readers? Is this the look the boys should be sporting? Beth: we need your help!


Tonight's the night for the Mark Mallman gig at the Replay (featured in our sidebar), and offers this description:

"Minneapolis rocker Mark Mallman exhibits a propensity for sociopathic lyrical punditry and swaggering piano rock boosted by high leg kicks and suggestive keyboard straddling."

Chip: "He seems to be one of those songwriters, kind of like Daniel Johnson, who should probably actually be in a mental hospital instead of onstage surrounded by hipsters watching him like an animal in a zoo, no doubt hoping for a breakdown."

Richard: "Wait, how does Chip know Daniel Johnson? I think these voices are getting sort of mixed up in my head."


The financial crisis has claimed one more downtown institution: Kansas's longest-running pharmacy, the Round Corner Drug and Cheese Shoppe, shut down yesterday. The townies on the LJ-World are either very upset or just being ironic (it's hard to tell):

Chewyfally says: "Darn. That's the only place in town that sells my husband's mustache wax."


All that lives must die said...

I'd heard about Round Corner from a friend who works there, but am shocked, shocked, shocked that the Cheese Shoppe didn't close sooner.

Chester the Cheetah said...

Everybody loves cheese!

I hope the Westside eats the Replay and shits out a Walmart! said...

From his cellphone, Dr. X twittered this to me from a secluded beach:

"Scoff @ the pains of local Lawrence merchants, and celebrate another blow against hipsters trying to wax their mustaches! Also, say Fuck! -X"

As his attorney, I have attended to my duties.

--Dr. Y

PS: I was also instructed, by a myspace post to ID the author of the post as has followed.

Further from Dr. Y said...

Also, as his attorney, I have advised Dr. X to make no further comment on the "Shitting out a Wal-Mart" until I have checked with local counsel re: Wal-Mart crush his nuts like wee grapes beneath Pantagruel's engorged hoof.

--He has accepted my judgement with only the compromise of the following statement "I believe that Kip has sexual intercourse with a variety of farm animals"*

*His actual statement was far more vulgar, but I think my encapsulation hints at the general rancor of his intents.**

**He also sought mention that he believed this display to be art, in the sense that it was both disgusting and Faulkneresque. Though I have not, as yet, consulted with the estate of one William Faulkner, I can comment no further than that, but, as depictions of barnyard... intercourse frequent the novels (cite: The Snopes Trilogy, elements of the uncollected short stories and Faulkner in the University at al), I feel his remarks may remain at play in this otherwise civilized discussion.

chip said...

Normally I'd give this a pass as "art," due to its farm animal jokes (which are funny). But since it's about me, I'll vote "not art."

Who's Dr. Y?

Dr. Y said...

Dear (Potato) Chip,

I am Dr. Y, the attorney for Dr. X. My client, who is away spending his summer at the beach generally being a brazen lothario in a thong, has left me with very specific instructions as to his public matters.

One of which, I somewhat regret to say*, is to endlessly mock you in all your "Doughy, pre-deep fried, donutish"** glory. I would ask your pardon in this, but I have been specifically instructed not to as you "can suck it... no don't tell him that -- he may... Fuck it, just tell him to suck it, suck it with walnuts."**


Dr. Y

*I can only say somewhat, as I can clearly see the joy in picking on your dimpled backside***
**Pre-composed remarks from Dr. X
***Though I have no actual proof of this, a standard polling survey of those... denizens of a watering hold called "Rusty's" out of Ft. Scott have made fairly specific claim to the fact that your ass is both pockmarked and dimpled "like a fucking golf ball... bout as white too."****
****Though recorded by Dr. X, the actual quotation belongs to a man claiming to be Rusty. There's actually quite a long deposition of this "Rusty" and his mixed dealings with Kip/ Chip? K!p and someone named "Big Dick Johnson... Kip."

Anonymous said...

Please, for the love of God, do not dress like that boy.


fashionable said...

Be he looks like Tom Cruise!

cl.thier said...

If he looks like Tom Cruise, then I look like Brad Pitt, only much more handsome.

Take off the Sambas, douchebag, and then buy a shirt that actually fits. And if you ever kick that pose again, I'll have to kick you... the face.

the voices are merging! said...

Cl.thier's thoughts here are taking on the violence usually associated with Dr. X (or is it Y?)).