Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Today Larryville WILL Set a World Record! / Recent Concert Reviews / Plus, a Photo Blog!

We mentioned Larryville's planned attempt to set a "world record" for "largest community workout" a few weeks back, and the day has finally come: this afternoon at 6:00 p.m. in the fields near 23rd and Iowa (be there, you fat townies!).

The logic behind the event seems to be: (a) the organizers were far too lazy to actually coordinate the event with the Guinness Book but (b) because no one else seems to hold a record for this particular event, the town is perfectly justified in calling it a "world record" no matter how many people show up (Chip: "I predict 30, tops.").

Richard: "I certainly enjoy doing push-ups during the hottest part of the day, but I'll probably just stay home and watch the coverage on Channel 6 News at 6:00."


In case you missed the Kid Rock show at Sandstone on the 4th (traitors!), we offer this description from the Pitch's Wayward Blog:

"Kid Rock came on stage amidst a flurry of pyrotechnics, flanked on each side of the stage by large lit up bottles of Red Stag, the new black-cherry-infused version of Jim Beam."

Chip: "Red Stag has become the official drink of Forttt Scottt in recent days. We love to get trashed on it and headbutt each other like a couple of majestic stags in an antler-fight."


The LC is often criticized for using "too many words," so occasionally we like to reward our laziest readers with a nice photo-blog so you can just kick back and enjoy some pictures without having to think too much. Here are some shots (click to enlarge) from the recent That Damn Sasquatch show at the Replay and an art opening at the Pig featuring computer-generated imagery using MS Paint software:

A friend of Richard's recently coined the important new word "hipstar" to denote locally famous hipsters, such as this guy, a triple threat in town as a member of Naomi What?, a member of the Rooftop Vigilantes, and the Sunday night doorman at the Replay. The guy behind him is his understudy.

There's really a lot going on in this picture. On stage is a white-boy funk band, rare in itself at the Replay, as is the large size of the lead singer (most hipsters are scrawny). In front of the stage is probably the town's most famous elderly lesbian, joined by a young lady who looks sort of like the chick that works at the Dusty Bookshelf. But perhaps the most interesting thing here is the woman facing the camera, who appears to be crying, perhaps because there's not a single shitty indie rock band on the bill tonight.

And here we see one wall of the Pig's current art show. One of the works appears, at first glance, to be an ass with a hat on it, but closer inspection reveals it to be a portrait of a Bourgeois Pig (see the curly tail) with a hat on its back (we think). Very clever. But is it art, or isn't it?


I'll drive the bulldozer if Kip hands me the key said...


I've been doing the same thing with raspberries for years! This whiskey biz may think itself important -- but the Triple X label on my particularize brand of Southern Comfort posses the added advantage of potentially blinding you!

--And if that ain't good whiskey, I don't know what is!

word lover said...

Now, don't get me wrong . . . I do love pics of hipsters and Larryville sites, but anyone can throw a bunch of pics on the page.

But it's the commentary that makes LC special.

the editorial board said...

Agreed. And despite Dr. X's call for more pictures, the LC remains devoted to always including snarky comments along with its pictures.

chip said...

I agree with "word lover."

Sometimes a nice description of titties can give me a boner just as well as a picture of them.

X said what? said...

When did I call for more pictures?!?


I called for a return to fiction Weds instead of this hipster bullshit! I concur with the first guy. We shall all bulldoze all the shitty hipster shit and set up hooters after hooters until the hipsters are forced out of Lawrence like their beloved Waka-bullshit festival!

--Viva la... plow the useless hipsters!

dealer of harsh truths said...

X. has called for pictures on several occasions!

But fiction has no place here in the summer. We present Larryville as it is! (not as Chip wishes it to be...although we certainly prefer Q's to Hooter's).

Mindi said...

"too many words"?!? That made me laugh, which I needed today.

canadian bacon! said...

There can never be too many words, or too many hooters, or too many words about hooters. As it is written, so let it be.

Dr. X's Summer Vacation said...


I can stands no more.

I'm outta here. If I hafta look at 'art' and 'pictures' I mighta as well head on off to the pulp vore blog and look at hot photos of naked women stuck in hentai!

--I'll come back in the Fall when the words return

the editorial board said...

Ah, now we can quote Dr. X. freely without his cries of "misquoting!"

Dr. Y, Legal Representative for Dr. X said...

Not unless you granola-chomping shits want to tangle with me, you wont!

--And my crack team of lawyers!*

*Though Dr. X was named in connection with the legal redaction of his former appellation, the name was, in fact, patented and trademarked by his owner and chief author, Dr. Y (previously unseen). As such matters pertain to the licensing of both textual creations and artistic representations (for example, see the most recent case law pertaining to Holden Caulfield in the matter of Salinger vs. California in the matter of appended and subsequent use of Salinger's creation in 'Coming Through the Rye'.

As California, a Goteborg, Sweden, native was struck down by American courts for use of the copyrighted and trademarked material of Mr. Salinger, we here at X and Y Press reserve the right to sue for any uses of Dr. X and his many foibles without his express written permission! If necessary, we will fee pursue suit to the extents at which we will overtake the Larryville Chronicles and, once again, return it to a place where recipes are shared, flowers and bunnies are examined and Kips may prance in the meadows freely and without concern for his parents reading about him.

infinite jest said...

The first part of that sounds like a DFW endnote!

Yeah, I knew Dr. Y couldn't stay away for fear he'd be besmirched!