Thursday, September 4, 2008

This Week in University News: Dude, Where's My Steam Whistle? / Plus, a New Larryville Blog Appears to Challenge The Chronicles in a Battle Over Art!

In operation since 1912, the beloved university steam whistle used to signal the start and end of classes is no longer issuing its mighty blow this semester due to rising natural gas costs (officials claim it costs five bucks every time it sounds).

Richard: "It's left me in a perpetual state of confusion. Sometimes I find myself teaching for six straight hours when I have no signal to stop!"

Chip: "I understand the need for budget cuts, but couldn't we get rid of a few professors and keep our whistle? That thing gave me a boner every time I heard it, just to think of all the ladies filing in and out of classes."


A new local art blog, The Rathaus, is on the scene these days and getting its own "launch party" tonight at the Jackpot Saloon with an art opening and local bands.

Richard: "Nobody ever threw a launch party for the LC! It's just not fair!"

Chip was reached for comment while drunk at IHOP: "If we ever have one, I'll be wearing a bag over my head because my role as a public educator is a sacred bond between myself and my young charges that I would not want to jeapordize by my actions."

At the Chronicles, we are not threatened by our competition and invite you to visit them at and read their mission statement: "Rathaus literally translates from German as “council house,” rat (council) and haus (house)...The Rathaus is our online “council house” working to inform, educate and inspire further discussion of issues affecting our globally connected community."

Chip: "They sound like pretentious fops!"


fired up fan said...

I say we torch the place...let's turn it into "flammehaus"! That's what happens to people who try to horn in on LC's turf - and I'm not talking about Lauren Conrad (but if that Heidi bitch comes around again, I'll burn her ass to the ground. Spencer too!)

the hills said...

I look forward to The Rathaus art commentary (as something new to make fun of!). The Percolator cloud exhibition is like shooting fish in a barrel!

Anonymous said...


Lauren Conrad said...

I went to Paris once, and met these really trashy Euros who played in a band. We rode around on a Vespa and they spoke in their creepy French accents to me! It was totally bitchin'! I love trashy Euros, but I don't really like art. Well, only if it's expensive art. Does Rathaus talk about really f'in expensive art? I hope. Fashion is art - that's what "haute couture" means, right - "expensive wearable art"?

scott evil said...

Europe?! Europe sucks! One time, my friend Sweet Jay took me to that video arcade in town, right, and they don't speak English there, so Jay got into a fight and he's all, "Hey quit hasslin' me cuz' I don't speak French" or whatever! And then the guy said something in Paris talk, and I'm like, "Just back off!" And they're all, "Get out!" And we're like, "Make me!" It was cool.