Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Coming Soon to Larryville: Another Downtown Festival and a new Wal-Mart (Finally!)

The city fathers agreed last night to help fund October's "Get Downtown" Festival with a $20,000 donation. The festival has actually been around for two years already but has been largely unnoticed, probably because it sucks so much. The boys hope that $20,000 buys a few bands besides Disco Dick and the Mirror Balls, who have played there previously. (and Chip hopes there are no fucking buskers involved).

Also making news this week: construction is underway on the 6th Street Wal-Mart, which is slated to open in late spring/early summer.

Chip: "I hope families will begin to realize there's no real reason to take the kids to the parks or downtown when there's a new Wal-Mart around. In Forttt Scottt, we usually make a full day out of a Wal-Mart trip. Their prices are hard to beat."


England dan said...

Any festival that has a name like "Get Downtown," "Go to the Park," or "I Guess It's Been Awhile Since We Had a Festival and I'd Really Love to See You Tonight," is just way too desperate-sounding to ever be successful.

Larryville really needs to get a steady girlfriend and stop hanging around with his "sister cities" hoping to get lucky.

Maybe it's too much to look for a long-term girl right now, but a quick weaning fling might be nice. I know Emporia turned him down cold, but Concordia is available (if a little homely), and Wamego definitely fits in "the love the one you're with" category.

what about Eudora? said...

I hear she's a real dirty slut!