Sunday, September 21, 2008

The Long-Awaited Return of the Boys' Country Corner! / Plus, Richard Prepares Some Questions for his Replay Bartendress!

One of the most popular recent features here at the LC was the boys' "Country Corner," where Richard and Chip turn their considerable powers of cultural analysis to country music. Today, it's back! The topic: Keith Anderson's "Pickin' Wildflowers":

Hey Daisy don't you worry 'bout your mama,
Like 007 we can keep it covert.
Undercover on the ground by the water
Gonna get a little peace... on earth.

Baby whatcha say we go pickin' wildflowers?
Got a spot way back in the woods.
Sneak away for a couple of hours,
You and me baby, pickin' wildflowers.

Hey baby, Mother Nature is waitin'
And love's bloomin' like a cherry tree.
Let's buzz around, maybe do some pollenating,
Dive on in like honey bees.

Richard: "The first chorus here is exceptionally clever. Note the pause after "peace," allowing the listener to think the speaker simply means "piece of ass." But instead we're misled, and the speaker follows with a phrase that carries certain religious connotations ("peace on earth, goodwill toward men"). The link between religion and sex cuts right to the heart of country fans, who enjoy both church and fucking in equal measure."

Chip: "Notice that the girl's name is "Daisy," like a flower, and the song later uses a lot of 'pollination' imagery. And people say country music is not smart! This reminds me very much of an Emily Dickinson poem: "To make a prairie it takes a clover and one bee, -/One clover, and a bee,/And revery./The revery alone will do/If bees are few." Is 'revery' suggesting masturbation here?"


Richard: "Tonight should mark my first encounter with my Sunday night bartendress since spotting her advertisement in Sex on the Hill a few days back (scroll down to view...or to re-view!). I have so many things to ask, such as: Do you really like to get spanked?; Do you think I could spank you sometime? (if you're very naughty!); are you wearing that kind of underwear right now?; is that N.nda spanking you? does she really like to give spankings?; do you think she'd like to spank me sometime? (if I'm very naughty!); or is all of this just a harmless and untrue advertisement meant to make us horny and thirsty for Replay and Jackpot beers?


art lover said...

"Pollinating," "007," and "cherry blossoms" all in one song - the range of country music never fails to astound!

Now, more importantly, I demand a report on the performance art piece at the football game on Saturday!

art blows! said...

Chip was so scared by the idea of performance art that he missed a home game for the first time since 99.

Nog, despite his vows to participate, was "frozen in place" in front of his television.

But we will check with our sources and try to get a report or, better yet, pictures.

little johnny keats said...

Who knew Chip was so easily frightened by art?!

udk said...

You'll notice that nothing exists in our pages today about the performance art piece. We do not want to encourage these "artists" for their disruptive behavior during an important event such as our victory over Sam Houston State.