This Week in Homeless News / Indoor Bicycle Roller Racing at the Replay

Larryville's city fathers are poised to approve a new homeless shelter at this evening's meeting and word arrived yesterday that Good Morning America's George Stephanopolous will be doing a profile of Larryville's shelter director sometime in May ("as part of a series that profiles people who have been mentors in the lives of ABC personalities"--LJ-World).

Surely this is a great opportunity for the nation to see Larryville's diligence in providing for the homeless, right?

Let's see what the talkbackers think.

Newell_Post says: "OMG. Every bum west of the Mississippi will be headed to Lawrence."

One_Eye_Wilbur says: "I hope George sees the drunks in the alley, and the drunks at bo's salvage yard peddling aluminum crutches to get booze money, and then follow them around for a day. the city commission is clueless about what this is doing for Lawrence, they really are."

Richard: "Well, not every drunk in an alley is homeless, One_Eye. Many of them are just unkempt hipsters who had a few too many PBR's at the Replay."

Chip: "Right. And not every homeless person is a drunk. Many of them are meth-heads and crack-fiends. Snuffleupagus may think twice about running this story if he finds himself attacked by a guy named Horse Shit wielding a railroad spike."

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One doesn't associate the Replay with sports, but nonetheless the venue may prove the perfect spot for "bicycle roller racing," which the LJ-World describes as follows:

"Many moons ago, when the world was sepia-toned, our forefathers used to climb — indoors — aboard bikes sitting atop huge cylindrical drums hooked to primitive gauges. They’d race head-to-head, pedaling furiously but going nowhere, with the winner being the cyclist who went the “farthest” in a set time."

This Friday the Replay hosts the KC Sprints: “Premiere Bicycle Roller Racing.”

broadpaw, in the LJ-World talkback, says: "let's just hope it's about the friendly competition and not lawrence's throngs of hipsters comparing only slightly obscure bike parts for uniqueness points"

Chip: "It will almost certainly be the latter."

Richard: "And let's hope it's complemented by a live performance from a Larryville band like the Rooftop Vigilantes or one of their 30 side projects. See you there."