This Week in Larryville Politics / Porn Queen Sammy RyRy Will Return to Larryville! / Earth Day Coverage Begins

Mike Am.x was elected to his fourth (non-consecutive) term as mayor of Larryville last night and "vowed to tackle the longtime struggle to attract a grocery store to North Lawrence."

Chip: "Is this truly the biggest problem facing Larryville at the present moment? I thought that the reason North Lawrence didn't have a grocery store is that virtually all of its residents are members of conspiracy-minded fringe groups who grow all their own foods out of fear that the 'guvmint' is poisoning them."

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Following her now legendary surprise appearance at a recent KU basketball game, porn actress (and KU alumnus) Sammy "RyRy" Ryan is returning to town this Saturday to play in a charity poker tournament. Do the boys plan to participate and try to fuck her?

Chip: "I hope that she and I can re-enact the plot of Blown Away 2: I Can't Wait to Suck Your Cock, if you catch my meaning."

Richard: "A quick glance at her filmography is truly impressive and, although I haven't seen much of her work, I'm curious to check out such films as Blow Me Sandwich 6 and the wittily titled French Connections."

Local French scholar Brian F: "The latter is one of her best films, but fifty bucks says she's never actually seen William Freidkin's 1971 Best Picture winner The French Connection."

Captain Chanute: "The best film she's done is Twat Squad, hands down (by which I mean hands-down-my pants)."

Honorable Reverend C: "How many characters are needed here just to make a porno joke?"

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Readers, Earth Day is next week and the most exciting thing about this year's festivities is that Avatar will be released on DVD that very day so that James Cameron can brag more about the film's important environmental message and convince people that anyone who doesn't buy a copy is probably a right-wing nutjob who believes that global warming is a hoax on par with the moon landing.

Larryville's major Earth Day events will be held this Saturday, but it seems that not everyone on the LJ-World talkbacks is excited.

Big Prune says: "...will the Earth Nazis be goose stepping behind a bio diesel powered school bus with one passenger while blowing an air horn sound pollution device like a couple of years ago? Sounds like a typical Lawrence freak show. Please keep your kids at home so these modern day brownshirts can't brainwash them anymore than our public school system."

Is Big Prune really Chip's talkback moniker? Sometimes we wonder.