Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Recent Concert Reviews / More Joe College News / Lost Fanboys Speak Out!

Present at the Arctic Monkeys show at Liberty Hall last night were: a bunch of high-schoolers (which made the lines at the bars delightfully short); "every Brit within a 30-mile radius" (at least according to King Tosser, a Brit); and a few small pockets of the town's elder hipster statesmen who felt the need to experience one of England's most important young bands in an up-close-and-personal setting (among these hipsters was Richard, sporting an Oxfam button worn upside-down, perhaps to symbolize the fact that he really didn't know what Oxfam was but had signed a petition distributed by his friend, Eggs, mainly in order to obtain that cool button). The band raged through the punkier first half of the set (with a typically shitty Liberty sound mix), before settling into a more Britpoppy vein and delivering the early radio favorites that all the kids were there to hear (such as: "I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor"). Everything was said and done by 10:30 in order to get the youngsters home by curfew, which suited the elder hipsters as well, allowing them to resume drinking cheap Monday night beers at FreeState just as they had been doing prior to the show.

But don't trust Richard's review of the show. Let's see what the Pitch's Nick Spac.k has to say in his review:

"Honestly, I spent the better part of the latter half of the Arctic Monkey's set hanging out in Liberty Hall's foyer shooting the shit with various people, and not a single one of us were even slightly interested in any of the songs being played 50 yards from us."

Richard: "For fuck's sake, Spac.k, shouldn't you at least be required to watch the show you are reviewing! Why don't I have your job?"


After successfully driving local T-shirt shop Joe College out of business due to exorbitant legal fees, KU has now decided to waive those fees so long as Larry Sinks agrees never to make another shirt that involves "Kansas, Lawrence, a Jayhawk or anything else even remotely associated with Kansas University, its athletic teams or colors" (LJ-World).

Richard: "So you're telling me poor Sinks can't even print a blue T-shirt from now on? I wonder if he's even allowed to use any of the letters that make up the phrase 'Kansas University?'"

Chip: "The guy should consider himself lucky that Big Lew didn't have him assassinated long ago."


Tonight's Lost episode is Hugo-centric and titled "Everybody Loves Hugo." Our vote for fanboy comment of the day goes to McFaux:

"So, if the symmetry holds, this epi tonight should be pretty fair dinkum. 2.04 was the episode that reallly kicked off the second leg of the Journey. We'd just finished opening the Swan hatch harbaville triptych of MoS-MoF, Adrift, and Orientation. Desmond had found 'his' sucker to save the World, the 815's were left holding the bag, and were left sayin WTF? That Hugo epi was laden with metaphor and subtext and the other things, both Science and Faith. 8 feet of Concrete and Chernobyl. Magnetic walls pulling in Keys. Apollo bars and Rising stars.. Quitting Jobs and Starting Jobs."


Capt. Chanute said...

I've never watched Lost. Every Tuesday though, I wonder what kind of show this is to make people speak in complete jibberish. And for that matter, it's highly likely that I'll ever watch the show, as I'm sure to rendered borderline retarded. I'd ask someone to explain, but then I'd just get another paragraph of completely mindless, paranoid schizophrenic banter. Maybe that is the answer: Lost is like syphilis. If left unchecked, it'll lead to schizophrenia.

Britpoppies will put them to sleep said...

I agree that you ought to watch a show before you review it, and any reviewer who doesn't have the commitment to actually put music over shooting the shit in the lobby deserves to be replaced by someone who cares.

exactly! said...

I almost signed up for a Pitch talkback moniker just so I could take Spacek to task more directly for his "reviews." But then I saw several people had already attacked him.

phantom reviewer said...

It's a little known but true fact that Spacek actually has published live music reviews in several altweeklies (or are they now called hipster weeklies?) across the northern hemisphere. Of course, the laws of physics make it impossible for him to attend all of those shows, but he's clearly above the law.