Dear Nastyy: What's the proper way to cuddle with a new squeeze?
Glad you asked! I like that this question indicates there are different ways to cuddle a new squeeze than how you would cuddle an "old squeeze". After a while, you find out what they like and are able to talk openly about what feels good, or where their old people joints/muscles hurt. For a movie, or an upright sitting situation, nothing beats the comfy nuzzle. I'm going to speak in terms of how I do things. I'm progressive and everything but my experience is mostly me (a girl) cuddling boys. Apply your gender specifics accordingly, you crazy horny children. Just rest your dainty little lady-head on his shoulder while he wraps his meaty man-gun around your shoulder. If that gets old, just bone down ASAP. You probably don't have much hope if you can't even be comfortable in each other's arms for short periods of time so it's best to just have one last sweaty hurrah and part ways. If you find yourself in a lay-down snuggle conundrum, spooning is WHERE IT'S AT. Don't gasp now, but I'm a pretty good little spoon. There's the ever-present dilemma of where to put the arm on which you decide to lie. I curl it around my head like a pillow. Figure I've got a good hour before my shit falls asleep and by then I'll probably be on my back anyway.
Gonna two-parter this answer because someone asked me how I stifled my farts with a new suitor. (I have since gradually introduced said suitor to my special brand of gasoline and things are still going well.) Somehow you must mentally change the way your insides work. That is the only way I can explain it. You have to will your guts to just chill the fuck out until release is acceptable. If you HAVE to do this, somehow you will. Just convince yourself you will die if you fart. You just might (of embarrassment).
Dear Nastyy: Do you have any tips for hip guys/gals for meeting people in Lawrence?
Well, for casual hook-ups, you can't really go wrong in the bar scene. Do you guys know how horny drunk young people are in Lawrence? Like, waaaay horny! You can take advantage of this, and it's affordable. Usually, you can just show up at the Replay at 2am and scoop up a stumbling ball of lust. No cover, no risky drink purchases, just sweet sweet hottie harvest. If you're looking for something more than a one-night stand, I say just stick with part one and eventually you'll wake up next to someone and won't be inclined to gnaw your own arm off. Keep them around. Make (or buy) them breakfast. Get their phone number. But like, actually keep it and use it. Someone's gonna like the way you work it. No diggity.
Dear Nastyy: Why do so many people frown upon polyamorous relationships?
Excellent question. I read up a little on polygamy because I was uneducated on the subject. It turns out there's more to polyamory than just fucking around. I don't really understand how people still "frown upon" what others do privately, especially polyamory (especially in Lawrence). Everyone's fucking. Who are we kidding? Why should your desire to sleep with new people hinder your chances of being in a healthy relationship? People are uptight, even in Lawrence. They're going to be skeptical of anything they don't understand or haven't practiced themselves. I say if you're happy, and your partners are happy, who cares what other people think? This is kind of obvious, but really. Anyone who is not okay with it has every right to decide it's not for them and back out. No one's in the dark when it comes to polyamorous relationships and honesty is the best policy. To be honest, the thought of polyamory just wears me out.
Hope I helped one OR ALL of you. Please feel free to send all your burning questions, love letters, and nudes, to firstname.lastname@example.org!!