Thursday, April 8, 2010

Beer / Golf / Style Scout (sort of)

Larryville may be on the cutting edge of ridiculous "infused" liqueurs but they are lagging behind in the world of hipster beers. Kansas City is noted as one of the cities bringing Schlitz back into the limelight:

Schlitz's 16 oz. "Tall Boy" cans are returning to Kansas City at the end of the month -- a year after the beer re-entered the market in 12 oz. brown bottles.
Schlitz celebrates the return of the Tall Boy can with two parties tomorrow night, where the tallest boy and girl (literally) each win $160 -- $10 for each of the 16 ounces in the can. There will also be a can stacking contest with prizes at the Kross Lounge and Gusto Lounge 'It's great to hear the war stories, literally and figuratively, about guys having their first Schlitz," says [director of marketing] Wortham."

Richard: "I will not be satisfied until I can drink a Schlitz tallboy at the Replay Lounge."

Chip: "My first Schlitz gave me the shits."


Believe it or not, the LC has not made a single Tiger Woods joke during his battle with sex addiction, but let's change that. Like the rest of America, the boys will be keeping a close eye on Tiger's return to the Master's today.

Chip: "According to Dr. Drew, a sex addiction relapse can occur very suddenly. I figure there's a decent chance we'll see him fuck somebody right on the greens this weekend."


Due to's laziness in posting columns on time, our thoughts on Style Scout photos will not appear today. But you can check out the hard copy in the LJ-World if you want to see a dude (Tyler Carmody) who describes his style as "Casual Kansas-boy modern" and references Mondrian and Terence Malick in the same sentence.

Capt. Chanute: "I'm prepared to say, sight unseen, that this guy is a douche."

Update: Here he is. Is he fashionable, or isn't he?


Capt. Chanute said...

Well, my sight unseen judgment proves how good I am judging character. And judging by the dark bags around his eyes, I'd say this kid has a.) not left his house in days b.) has not slept in days and c.) was only out to buy more cocaine because he hadn't left home in 72 hours and had blown all of what he had. Final call: Fashionable, in a Kate Moss probably-going-to-die-of-an-OD-soon Corey Haim type of way.

Capt. Chanute said...

After multiple glasses of wine, I tend to call this guy a douche once again. I just can't get over his references. Mondrian? Did he get into pointless and abstract patterns lately? "Oh, I made something in my 3rd grade art class, I'll make some vague reference to NYC in general and call it art."
And the movie director reference? What does that mean? Really. What does that mean? We just say we have seen a movie and suddenly we take credit from the professional license of others?
I just don't get it. Does Style Scout go out looking for toolbags? Or is she somehow embedded in the shithead culture of Lawrence? Does she hang at the Pig, eat at Teller's and drink at Henry's? Christ Almighty. I'm stumped...