Chip: "Obama, the celebrity, "that one," attracted thousands to the Liberty Memorial in KC over the weekend, but a real maverick doesn't need to make a flashy entrance. Mr. John McCain has chosen Heartland High School in Belton for a Monday afternoon speech, and the kids have been looking forward to sharing tales of their prize-winning heifers with him and letting him reassure them that the economy is still strong enough to allow them to keep enough gas in their pick-ups to make it to the Kansas Speedway a few times a year. Obama promises 'change.' Scary, ill-defined change. But what South Kansas and Eastern Missouri want is familiarity. McCain reminds us of our grumpy, cantankerous old uncles, the kind of guy you could 'pal around' with at the Redneck Comedy Tour in Joplin or the gun show. Go see him live and in person today, Larryville liberals, and get a taste of the 'real' midwest."
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The UDK, intent on stopping the 'rip his fucking head off' football chant, has come up with several new options (online today at www.kansan.com). They are quite creative:
"Rock Chalk Jayhawk KU!"
"Rock Chalk Jayhawk!'
"Go...Jayhawks!"
"Make 'em weep!"
"Right between the eyes!"
Richard: "If we do change the chant, I hope we can at least keep a somewhat believable threat of violence. Maybe something like: 'Injure him just enough so that he can't play well.'"
Chip: "Or how's about: 'Look out for my beak, bitch!'"
Richard: "But I think the point is to downplay the profanity as well."
Chip: "Without profanity, a chant is meaningless and unmemorable."
Richard: "Actually, I sort of like the 'Make 'em weep' idea. Somehow it just makes me laugh to think of everyone yelling it."
Chip: "But 'Make those bitches weep' is much better, you have to admit."
Richard: "Oh, no question."
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