Local Comedy Review: Dark Times with Jay Maus at Granada / City Commission Update / Jammin For Joplin on Saturday

Larryville has two new late-night comedy talk shows. There's the "Not So Late Show" on Channel 6 (Chip: "I haven't seen it because it airs opposite Leno.") and there's "Dark Times With Jay Maus" at the Granada, whose events are being recorded for a future internet program (site currently under construction).

We stopped by Dark Times last night to gauge what's funny on the local scene. The answer: quite a lot of dick and rape jokes.

We arrived during Julio Ugly's set, the centerpiece of which was a long story about the time he had "swamp gas" on a plane after drinking something called Reindeer Beer.

Chip: "I think we could all relate."

Next up was a serious discussion with local hip-hop artist Approach, who seemed like a gentleman and a scholar, sandwiched between Larryville's comic vulgarians. Approach's next "Chocolate Brown Thunder" night is this Friday at the Granada and he'll also be a part of "Jammin For Joplin" on Saturday (details below).

And just prior to the intermission was an energetic performance from host Jay Maus's alter-ego, an evangelistic preacher-type who exhorted the audience to worship Loki and explained how Loki often climbs in through windows and 'gets to rapin'. It wasn't always funny, but it was performed (at length) with a conviction that was sort of admirable.

The cost for these shenanigans? A single dollar bill, which gains you a neat complimentary fan containing info on the night's performers and sponsors.

Chip: "I'm not embarrassed to admit that I fanned myself like an old lady in church. It was kind of stuffy in there."

Dark Times is scheduled every two weeks throughout the summer. Check it out.

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We like to check in with the good work of the City Fathers on occasion and the following story caught our eye yesterday.

Bullwinkle's is on the verge of obtaining a permit that allows them to transition from "a cereal malt beverage establishment that must close at midnight to a regular full-service drinking establishment that could stay open until 2 a.m" (LJ-World). The city fathers, however, requested that the owners find a way to discourage patrons from congregating too much outside the establishment. The solution:

"Staff members said they likely would put together a plan that would replace grass on the site with thorny bushes... that would make it difficult to stand in the area" (LJ-World).

Chip: "Nice. I wish someone would plant thorny bushes outside the Replay to eliminate the 2:00 am hipster 'sidewalk-sale.'"

Richard: "I kind of love the idea of drunken frat boys stumbling outside into a patch of thorn bushes."

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Occasionally the insular cultural world of Larryville decides to look beyond its borders and do something nice for our neighbors. One such occasion is this Saturday at the Bottleneck. Our Twitter-buddy @Ms_Frye has put together an event called Jammin for Joplin with all proceeds of the $7 dollar cover going to the United Way to help Joplin residents.

The event promises to be an interesting collision between Larryville's scenester worlds (the MC is none other than J-BARRR and Approach will rock the late-evening dance party) and the not-so-scenester worlds (the evening kicks off with the defiantly unhip antics of Sellout). There will also be auctions for such prized local items as KU men's basketball tickets.

Chip: "I wish they had thought to include a spend-the-evening-with-a-player auction. I'd love to go out brawling with T-Rob and Taylor!"

There's a flyer in our sidebar and here is a link to L.com's story about the event (they took a break in their recipes to write a nice piece!) and to the Facebook event page:

Unusual Local Bargain of the Day at 715 Restaurant / Current Literary Trends / New Work From New Suede

Our Twitter-buddies down at 715 are always doing odd things, and this seems like an intriguing summer option for the ladies:
















Chip: "It's a nice idea, but surely there should be something comparable for the gentlemen. Can I have free tea if I dress like a bit of a dandy? Or maybe a fop?"

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We love literary trends. Our current favorite, of course, is inserting monsters into classic literary texts. Our second favorite: animal narrators. Our third favorite: rewriting classic texts from the point of view of minor characters.

A good example is the just-released Daisy Buchanan's Daughter, by Tom Carson, which offers up the life story of Pam (who is 2 years old and barely mentioned in Gatsby):

"Pam’s jokey, reference-thick double talk (“Don’t go all Wiki in the knees”) defines every page... It can be hard to grasp the emotional content — or precise meaning — of sentences like this: “She could get fairly snippy about talking me down from the tree where she’d just caught me putting the feminocentric cart before the horse again" (NY-Times).

Chip: "It's indeed hard to catch her meaning. Why is there a horse in a tree? Also, I'm rewriting Black Beauty from the point of view of the horse."

Richard: "I'm hard at work on my own literary spin-off. It follows the life of Holden's sister, Phoebe, from Catcher in the Rye, and I think you'll find it's actually quite good. And not at all phony."

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When New Suede release a new video, it's best to just kick back and let it wash over you, like the striking images of a Terence Malick film. Here is a video for their song "Horses." It's about horses.

Chip: "This post has turned sort of surprisingly pony-centric, hasn't it?

Kickstarter Project of the Week: Save the Buskers! / Pitchfork Reviews Shabazz Palaces / Horror Remix, Vol. II: Killer Animals!

The polls are closed here at the LC for our recent poll and, in a shocking last-minute upset, readers voted for more pictures of "cute fuzzy animals" instead of more Ask Nasty advice columns (little do they know that "cute fuzzy animal" is a nickname Chip often uses for his boner). But don't worry: Tweetnasty has a standing invitation to write for us whenever she wants. But she does need questions from you. Submit them to her via Twitter at @tweetnasty .

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Since Brownback axed the Arts Commission, some of our favorite events are struggling to survive. August's Larryville Busker Festival has delighted us with fire-eaters and strongwomen and those dudes that sing songs about "fancy beers" for three years running, but unless the festival receives some fan support this year we may be forced to spend August with nothing but our local buskers (sure, Tyler Gregory is cool and all, but we'd rather see those sexy chicks that swing around on a trapeze outside the Arts Center).

Donate some money here and be rewarded for your kindness. For $500 you get "the privilege of being a professional and preselected audience volunteer in one of our shows during the weekend. This privilege can be passed onto any person of your choice."

Richard: "I'm totally going to pass mine along to Chip and watch Mama Lou Strongwoman spin him around like a fucking baton!"


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As we've stated many times, hipster law mandates that we buy and love any album rated 8.5 or above by Pitchfork. This week that album is Shabazz Palaces' Black Up:

Here's an excerpt from the review:

"The album's lone loverman song comes out a treatise-- well, actually, "A treatease dedicated to The Avian Airess from North East Nubis (1000 questions, 1 answer)". It's birds and bees rendered as bop poetry, working up to an insistently smooth come-on line that turns from astral to anatomical with the addition of one little two-letter word: "I want to be there/ Let me be in there."

Chip: "I've always said that, if you want to get laid, your pick-up line has got to move from the astral to the astronomical. Unless it's one of those hippie chicks at Mudstomp Mondays. You can easily pick them up by talking about the space/time continuum and shit."

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We certainly enjoyed ourselves at the first Horror Remix in Larryville, as you may remember from this report .

And tonight's line-up of remixed "killer animal" flicks looks even more promising, especially the Canadian killer kittycat film The Uncanny: "Wellington the Cat may look sweet, but its heart is as black as its fur." (www.horrorremix.com).

See it at the Bottleneck tonight. Flyer in sidebar.

Super-Scenester Pick of the Day: R. Stevie Moore at Jackpot/ A Rare Peek Inside Tonic On Mass. Street / Missed Connection of the Week

There's a super-scenester show tonight at the Jackpot, billed on their calendar as "R. Stevie Moore" (the legend)," a man who has released "400 albums to cassette and CD (albums, not songs)...through his DIY home-based distro" (read the Pitchweekly piece here ). Moore has collaborated with the likes of Ariel Pink and Mike Watt and has an 8.0 Pitchfork endorsement for 2004's Conscientious Objector. If you're not convinced to attend this show at some point during this long excerpt, you're probably not very hip:




"The range of music on Conscientious Objector is staggering, from Moore's "cover" of the 1956 exotica tune "Monitor" to the gentle, guitar and vocal showcase "Take Back" to the trippy drum 'n' bass of "Yung & Moore Show (Theme 1)" to the lazy alt-country of "Social Studies Buddies" to the hi-speed, dreamy IDM of "Name Tag the Entertainer Take 12" to the bizarre collaboration with Paw Tracks' Ariel Pink on "What Else Am I Not Supposed to Do?" to the Tom Waits-ish reading of "Hot Cakes and Sausage" to the breezy electro-bossa on "Divorce Court" to a Bell Labs text-to-speech reading of all of his song titles on "A to Z" to the freak-folkish lament "Big Ben (Bridge Collapse Kills 300 Toddlers) by Spandek" to the bizarre, hazy cover of 2 Live Crew's "Me So Horny" to his a cappella "Swans" to the synthesizer explosion of "Judson Fountain of Wayne Wayne"" (Pitchfork).

Here's our scenester advice for this show. Even if you've never heard of R. Stevie Moore prior to the buzz for this show (which is likely), pretend to own at least 300 of his albums, because chances are the other scenesters in attendance know next to nothing as well, and you can impress them so much they might buy you a PBR.



















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Scenesters, do you ever find yourself wandering past Tonic on Mass. Street late at night, listening to the throbbing beat emanating from within its mysterious dark interior, and thinking to yourself, "WHAT. THE. FUCK?"

We do. But thanks to a new slideshow at www.inkkc.com , you can get a peek at Tonic's recent "Hydration Party," which included "a mermaid tank, misters, surfers and leis." Let's take a look at a few photos:















































Instead of "Spot the Scenesters," let's play a round of "name those bros." We'll buy you a Jager shot for each one. And an extra shot if you know that old dude. Is he a famous local character, or just a fellow who wandered in because he heard this was the best place on Mass. to chase young pussy? (Chip: "Apparently he heard wrong.").

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Here's a short missive from Larryville's Craigslist "Missed Connections" addressed to "the girl at Henry's with the ice-blue eyes - m4w" :

"More of a cosmic miss, I suppose :) I enjoy our banter while you're making my coffee and the natural magnetism. Is it mutual?

I hope your pup is feeling less swollen today!"

Wayne Coyne Sells Gummy Fetuses at Love Garden / Sunday Kickball Corner

Word spread like a scenester wildfire yesterday afternoon that Flaming Lips' Wayne Coyne would be holding court at Love Garden last night selling "gummy skulls" and "gummy fetuses" which contain a flash drive with new songs inside them (how many licks DOES it take to get to the music in a gummy skull?).

This tweet from Wayne presents the event as if it's all perfectly natural:

@waynecoyne: Heading up to @LoveGardenSound in #Lawrence #Kansas to deliver some Gummy Fetuses!!

So how many delicious gummy fetuses did we purchase?

Chip: "None. I haven't really cared for their work since 'She Don't Use Jelly.'"

Richard: "Five. One to eat immediately and four others to sit atop each of the four stereos during my annual Zareeka party.

We arrived just in time to see I Heart Local Music conducting an interview:


















Go here to watch that interview and get a peek at Wayne Coyne's underwear.

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It's Sunday, so let's turn to Coach Billy Gay Cyrus for some weekly kickball analysis. Here's his take on the Brew Ballers/Red Lyon game:

"In the end, I see Red Lyon getting their third win of the season, especially since Nick Lerner busted his “Boo The Bunt” campaign with a bunt earlier this season. I’m starting a “Heckle the Haters” campaign—the bunt sucks, but it’s a useful tool for teams that don’t have an army of big kicks (and a useful tool for teams with big kicks, that want to fuck with you). It’s especially nice for new players who want to get on base, and are still working out the awkwardness of kicking a KVKL kickball. Bunting is no fun to watch, but never reaching first base is worse for the player. In the end, the bunt is part of the game, just like the ridiculous Ground Rule Double and the absence of an Infield Fly Rule. Red Lyon > Brew Ballers; Bunting > Lerner."

Chip: "I'd rather die than bunt a kickball. But keep in mind I don't understand this game. I play games for adults."

The direct link to the KVKL blog is in our sidebar and it's always a fun read. Check it out.

As for us, we'll be at the Replay watching Carrie Nation and the Speakeasy. Somebody BETTER bust something up with an ax on stage at some point.

We Look at Photos of Naked People at Final Fridays / Saturday Scenester Picks: Sleepy Kitty at Jackpot and Actors and Actresses at Replay

Our happiest discovery during last night's Final Friday was Daniel Coburn's Object: Affection opening at the Arts Center:

"The model is asked to participate in a photo shoot, and to approach the situation with the intent of making a photograph for a lover, significant other, or an ideal mate. Coburn’s long-term goal for this project is to study a widely diverse cross-section of people in an effort to understand how age, race, gender, sexual orientation and varying social/economic backgrounds affect a person’s approach and reaction to the process of self-objectification."

Chip: "If I were writing the press release for this exhibit, I'd advertise it as 'photos of a bunch of not-necessarily-very-sexy people in their underwear.' Because that's what it is. And there are even some titties on display."

Readers, he's correct. We had a rare attack of conscience during this exhibit and felt weird about taking our own photos of these very intimate photos to use for cheap boner jokes (but rest assured we had boners during this exhibit, although Chip was a little uncomfortable looking at photos of other men with boners). We encourage you to visit the Arts Center as soon as possible. And check out Aaron Stork's "Wizard Porch" while you're there (although the night's biggest disappointment was that Stork was not perched on the porch in full wizard regalia: why not?).

For those of you too lazy to get to the Arts Center, you can see a gallery of Object: Affection photos here

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We all know and love Cowboy Indian Bear and The Hips, but what about Sleepy Kitty, who will join them for a triple-threat Jackpot show this evening? A search for the band immediately uncovers a bunch of adorable Youtube videos of sleepy kittens, but if you persevere you can find actual information about the band, which was formerly an art project (always a good sign).

They are a duo whose work "gives full voice both to Brubeck’s sweet ba-ba harmonies and the Mark-E-Phone, a vocal distortion device she built herself."

We're suckers for homemade instruments and band with cute names, so this looks like a winner to us. Look at them:



















But Larryville's druggier scenesters might prefer the action across the street, where Actors and Actresses will "straddle the line between slowcore and the most esoteric shoegaze, their boyish vocals bubbling up from beneath their textural treatises...If you’re looking for a pop song, you’ve come to the wrong place. But if you’ve come to be gently lifted aloft, levitated by cascading guitars and mysterious moods." (Big Takeover).

Richard: "Well, I AM looking for a pop song, so I better stick with The Hips and Cowboy Indian Bear."

Friday Scenester Guide: From Punk Rock Formals to Mexican Fiestas to Milk Music / Multiplex Roundup: Cars 2

With Final Fridays art and a wealth of music choices, there are surely sights and sounds to please all manner of scenesters and townies today.

Why not start early at the Granada's Punk Rock formal, which begins at 1:00. Is there any way to know what time which bands are playing? Doubtful. But if you stick around long enough you'll eventually hear Baby Boomers, and their scenester buzz is strong right now.

We've showcased a handful of art shows this week, but we've saved our buddies at Wonder Fair for today (since scenester memory is short). The "first ever group exhibition by the Wonder Fair Family" makes these promises:

"We will lift the mystery of the Wonder Fair Family Crest; share our secrets, hopes and dreams. You will laugh and you will cry. You will shake your head and close your eyes, then open them again. You will ask, “why” and we will respond, “why not?” You will wish you never came, but then later, you will be so glad you did."

Chip: "How much later?"

And this "special offer" is surely too good to resist:

"With the purchase of any Wonder Fair Family print, you'll receive an official Certification of Membership & have your photograph taken for the Wonder Fair Family Tree."

Then pop over to Quinton's Q5 Gallery upstairs to check out Leo Hayden's portrait of Neil Gaiman. We'll be the geeks standing in front of it discussing HBO's future adaptation of American Gods.

Meanwhile, over at St. John's Mexican Fiesta, townies will be waiting in line for an hour to score a taco (it's usually hot out there on the asphalt, but it's a pretty fucking good taco).

We'll be down at the Replay matinee for an evening with some of Larryville's elder statesmen of the singer-songwriter scene: Jon Harrison, Matt Suggs, Danny Pound. Expect their soothing sounds to be almost completely drowned out by the drone of scenesters reminiscing about all the bands these guys used to play in ("Which was better: Vitreous Humor or Butterglory?").

If you're younger and hipper, stick around for the late show with Mouthbreathers. Say hello to our once and hopefully future music critic Johnny Hamms while you're there. Tonight's headliner (which might or might not be the headliner, since it's the Replay) is Milk Music. They get a nice blurb from www.imposemagazine.com:

"The source material is most obvious on "Be Here Now" as the lead singer bursts into the fuzz and riff worshiping with a damaged-Westerbergian cry that made songs like "Unsatisfied" memorable."

Richard: "They had me at 'Westerbergian.'"

Or you can end your evening on a considerably mellower vibe by getting nice and baked and hitting the midnight Big Lebowski screening at Liberty Hall. We'd prefer Wiseau's The Room, easily the hippest midnight movie of the moment, but we take comfort in the fact that plenty of young dudes still want to get fucked up and quote the Coens.

Chip: "Lebowski makes me laugh to beat the band. Parts, anyway."

















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After a long reign of perfect summer films, it seems that PIXAR, with Cars 2, has finally delivered a clunker (get it?).

Here's a selection of critical responses that amuse us.

A.O. Scott says of Larry the Cable Guy's Mater: "Pixar has now found its redneck Jar-Jar Binks. Such a proud moment."

A few sentences later, though, Scott is willing to give PIXAR the benefit of the doubt: "...maybe I’m misinterpreting the movie and underestimating Pixar’s capacity for subversiveness. Maybe “Cars 2” is a dystopian allegory for an era of ecological anxiety."

Maybe, Scott. But we're pretty sure it's just a bunch of Larry the Cable Guy jokes coupled with PIXAR's admittedly amazing animation.

Richard: "I plan to wait till DVD and watch it without the sound."

Chip: "I find the Cable Guy witty."

Ebert, however, finds the film much more impressive than Scott.

"At one point, in a shot so brief you don't want to blink, we even learn that the Popemobile travels in its own Popemobile. This inspires the theological puzzle of whether the one inside is the pope. One of my fellow viewers said she didn't even see a Popemobile. Maybe I dreamed it."

Richard: "Damn it, Roger. Now I want to see it just to look for that Popemobile!"

We Analyze Tech N9ne Lyrics and Look at a Bear Club Party Pic / More Final Fridays Coverage

We've always been inspired by the success of KC's Tech N9ne and never more so than now, with his new album, All 6's and 7's, rocketing all the way to the top of the Billboard charts.

Let's take a closer look at the lyrics that America loves so well. This is the chorus of "Fuck Food":

"Girls only look like fuck food to me)
(Girl-girls only look like fuck food to me)"

Our feminist readers: "Not only are women objectified here, but they're embodied as products to be consumed. Disgusting."

Chip: "Ladies, I'd argue that the rest of the lyrics are at least as much a celebration as an exploitation of women. Take the opening lines, in which N9ne professes that he'd prefer to go down on a woman than to chew his favorite gum: "Yum, a stick of 5 gum is the taste on my tongue /But for the right one, I'll spit it out and place her right on.". And later in the song Li'l Wayne stops by with this fascinating simile: "Yeah, float in that pussy like a cruise ship." Far from an inessential 'product,' the woman in this instance becomes VERY essential. For recreational purposes, admittedly, but essential nonetheless."

Our feminist readers: "What do you make of a line like 'I ain’t tryna have no babies, but baby / You braised in some slavery' and, later, 'I’m they master, hit ‘em with a lash.' Surely, this evocation of the master/slave relationship within the song's explicit sexual content is irresponsible and offensive."

Richard: "It's edgy, to be sure. The bizarre phrase 'braised in some slavery' cleverly extends the song's food metaphors ('braised'), suggesting that the continuing pain of oppression has marked them all. Later, when N9ne shockingly transforms into the slavemaster, he's surely commenting on the power dynamics inherent in any sexual relationship. But he makes it clear that his 'bitches' have allowed, even welcomed, such activity: 'When I get my mittens on this kitten / She’ll be bitten, then she missin’ /‘Cause she fucked up and let the Tech in.' Ultimately, N9ne's own insatiable appetite for 'fuck food' is interrogated: what has led him to behave this way and for women to allow it?"

Chip: "I also like the line where N9ne is 'Tryna get my dick sucked through my jeans.' That one's just funny."


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We didn't make it to last Friday's Team Bear Club beach party event at the Tap Room, but A. Ruscin did. Here's a photo that intrigues us:
















He must be absolutely mesmerized by Phil Canty's beats! As always, name that scenester and win a free prize (maybe a PBR, or maybe a mushroom or whatever else these Bear Club kids be trippin' on!).

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Two more Final Friday events have caught our attention.

Our Twitter-buddy @dzesika will be performing with the Lawrence Tango Dancers in the lobby of the Arts Center throughout the evening.

Chip: "Tango is one of my top 5 favorite sexy dances, alongside the foxtrot, the lambada, the Dougie, and any dance that involves grinding."

We're also pleased that the Lawrence Public Library is shining a spotlight on a young local artist, 15 years old.

"For this show, Juliana was inspired to take photos of her cat, Mrs. O'Hara, where only a tiny bit of her was showing, so that viewers must scan the photo to locate her. The name of this series is *Cat Scan*."

If you're waiting for us to say something snarky about this youngster, keep waiting. Because we personally think this show sounds far preferable to "wizard art."

Chip: "I just hope I'm able to find those cats. Otherwise, I'm going to feel like a dummy."

Sexy Album Cover of the Week: Handsome Furs' Sound Kapital / Final Fridays Coverage / We Congratulate the ADD-Correspondent Contest Winners

We're excited that the new Handsome Furs' album Sound Kapital (out next week) is written entirely on synths. But we're even more excited about the album's sexy cover, which we find a nice change from the usual artsy or twee photos or drawings that adorn so many hipster album covers. Check it out:




















This is NOT the band's singer Alexie Perry (whom we'd also like to see naked), but it's certainly enough to convince Chip to head to Love Garden next week and drool all over the vinyl.

And what about the music. A review from www.consequenceofsound.com offers a mostly positive take while leveling this critique:

"The only thing the Handsome Furs leave unexplored is the inherent irony in railing against nostalgia using instrumentation and arrangements heavily borrowed from the ’80s."

Richard: "The reviewer seems to miss the point. Obviously, they are deliberately using the very techniques of their nostalgic oppressors to interrogate and critique said nostalgia."

Behold, the Handsome Furs:




















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We've been big fans of Aaron Stork and his wizard art since at least 2008, when we read an L.com interview full of statements such as:

"I came up with a character named Salad Man, who’s covered in trash like an idiot or a sort of American clown. He represented all of the contradictions and weird, fucked up things America does like in Iraq."

Will Salad Man make an appearance at Stork's Wizard Porch and Garden opening at the Arts Center on Friday? Let's hope so.



















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Scenesters across Larryville last night surely downloaded the BARRR/Chip ADD podcast and settled in for 40 minutes of hilarity to discover the results of the ADD-correspondent contest. Did any of you suspect that BARRR would be willing to share the spotlight with not one but FOUR different correspondents who will surely cover a wide array of Larryville culture (from Hobbs Park to the Replay Lounge)? It's true. We'd like to congratulate Tyler Waugh (and his editor @oxfordist), Tweetnasty, Tim Dwyer, and @oliphants and we hope to see them all "on the street" soon for ADD.

They are all welcome to write pieces for us as well (as are the rest of you readers! we'd love to make this blog more collaborative, and we KNOW most of you are snarky enough to help us out: get in touch if interested).

If you haven't yet heard the podcast, download it now over at www.barrrrheaven.com .

June Final Fridays Coverage Begins / Portland's Lovers Play in KC and Larryville / Chip and BARRR Record the ADD Contestant Podcast

First things first: please vote in our poll in the sidebar. As always in these polls, there are a lot of fans of cute fuzzy animals, but we're hoping at least one person (maybe Chip himself) votes to see twitpics of Chip's weiner.

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This month's Final Friday sort of slipped up on us, but we're currently researching and ready to spotlight the week's most important events.

The first to catch our eye is "Regrettable Edibles," photographs by Meg Dejmal at the Pig. Here are the author's notes:

"The inspiration for this particular series came from a study of the history of women being associated with nature, fairy tales, and third wave feminism. Visually, I've also always been fascinated with the juxtaposition of objects that don't belong together. For example, I have always loved the way that something disgusting and dark could pair with something soft and feminine. I am a firm believer in opposites attracting. Reactions to these photographs include (but are not limited to): disgust, horror, fascination, and arousal."

Chip: "I predict my reaction will be limited to arousal."

Our feminist readers: "This exhibit sounds important, so it's too bad that we stopped going to the Pig that time they hassled a woman for breastfeeding her baby."


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If you love "gut-checking synth pop" (www.terrorbird.com), you've got two opportunities this week to check out Portland's Lovers. Tonight they'll be playing at a place "to be determined" in KC (we haven't been hip enough to determine the place as of yet) and tomorrow night they'll bring their sweet synth-sounds to the Replay (along with the Gameboy blips of KC's Blondie Brunetti).

As best as we can tell from a piece and photo from www.portlandmercury.com , they are absolutely adorable: "The three members of Lovers currently live together... they swap inside jokes and finish each other's sentences."













These two shows should satisfy our thirst for all things Portland until Wild Flag arrives in KC in October and we do our best to interview Carrie Brownstein (or, more likely, just drunkenly shout "put a bird on it" at her from across the bar).


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It was a true meeting of the minds (and boners) last night when scenester-extraordinaire BARRR sat down with anti-scenester Chip to record a podcast evaluation of the ADD-correspondent contestants. The evening was full of Oprah moments (Chip cried twice and pranced about on the couch once) and the whole affair culminated in a decision that we think you'll find both surprising and delightful.

And the podcast is available NOW at BARRR's site at www.barrrheaven.com . Enjoy!

Replay Photo of the Week / Pitchfork Reviews Bon Iver, Bon Iver / BARRR Plans a Press Conference to Announce the ADD Correspondent Winner

We're fond of this photo we took at last night's show, in which three scenester cowboys take their seat directly in front of the opening act, Granny Tweed, and proceed to rock out.














Actually, those cowboy-hatted gents were the next band, Tinhorn Molly (as you might guess because the lead singer is wearing a Tinhorn Molly shirt).

Two highlights from the evening:

1) Tinhorn Molly delighted us all with "Cornbread Suite in A Major."

Chip: "If more composers would write 'cornbread suites,' I might just listen to classical music."

2) Granny Tweed, plagued by technical difficulties most of the evening, closed with a perfect cover of Dead Milkmen's "I Against Osbourne," ("I am sorry yes I am I do not talk to strangers ma'am!"), making us wish we'd stuck around for Joe Jack Talcum's set last Thursday and possibly heard the song played by a Milkman himself.

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We keep thinking Pitchfork is bound to turn against the onslaught of sensitive, bearded folkies at some point, but the new Fleet Foxes record earned high marks and so, today, does the new album by Bon Iver (titled Bon Iver, Bon Iver). In fact, it scores a shockingly high 9.5.

Let's see why Pitchfork loves the album so much.

"...there's an uncanny moment on the breathtaking "Michicant"... where a bicycle bell rings twice..." (Pitchfork).

"The structure is flawless right up to its conclusion, "Beth/Rest", which has been much remarked upon for its unabashed and unironic embrace of 80s adult contemporary pop sounds. If you've spent any time in the vicinity of a radio tuned to light rock, you hear the keyboard tone that opens the song and you think Lionel Richie, Richard Marx, and "No One Is to Blame". It's almost naive of Vernon to think he could pull this off. Yet, heard in context, it stands as one the record's bravest and most deftly executed moments-- not just because it lays bare Vernon's stated admiration for artists like Bonnie Raitt and Bruce Hornsby, but because it's executed to perfection" (Pitchfork).

Richard: "Just because one CAN sound like Richard Marx, doesn't mean that one SHOULD sound like Richard Marx."

Chip: "I'd rather just listen to my Richard Marx albums."

We'll see you at Love Garden tomorrow as we all purchase our copies (since anything scoring higher than 9.0 on Pitchfork demands immediate purchase, as dictated by hipster law).

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Despite an intense poolside meeting with BARRR over the weekend, we remain conflicted about future ADD-correspondents even as tonight's decision fast approaches.

Chip's boner says Tweetnasty (yes, his boner speaks).

Richard's heart is with Tyler Waugh (let's face it: that kid is adorable!).

Our fondness for well-crafted journalism leads us toward Olivia.

And we're suckers for the inside jokes and punch lines of Tim Dwyer.

But tonight is the night. Decisions must be made. BARRR is at work on a special podcast in which the winner will be announced (rumors are that the reclusive Chip may be a special guest on this program). We predict it will be similar in many ways to Lebron James' infamous "The Decision" special (but with more boner jokes). Stay tuned. Soon, Larryville will have its newest tastemaker!

Sunday Kickball and Music Guide / Missed Connection of the Week / Thoughts on New Movies

Scenesters never rest on the Sabbath. Sunday brings kickball and Replay matinees, as usual.

It seems unlikely that tonight's Game of the Week between Slowride and Brew Ballers will produce a moment as magical as last week's marriage proposal. In fact, the KVKL blog suggests this game will be as scholarly as a chess match:

"Slowride is filled with athletes and will be looking to regain a winning record after a six-point loss to Los Luchadores last week, I wouldn’t be surprised if you see some of them in the stands taking notes during the BB vs. LL game."

If we see scenesters taking notes instead of shotgunning PBRs and streaking, then surely kickball has truly run its course in the hipster world.

Making their Hobbs debut in the 7:00 slot will be newcomers Harper Valley PTA. We predicted these scrappy upstarts (a team full of rock stars and public educators) might make a Bad New Bears-style rise to the top. But so far they've been run-ruled for two consecutive games. Shows what we know about kickball.

As for us, we'll be on the Replay patio with Granny Tweed and Tinhorn Molly. The latter describes their sound in this fashion:

"...tuned to a train whistle and played in the key of a hound. Songs to love laugh cry and kill to, all in the rusted scrap iron sound of a three piece junkyard orchestra."

Richard: "They had me at 'key of a hound.'"


















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Larryville Craigslist Missed Connection of the Week is labeled "m4f-Harbor bartender":

"You bartended thursday night and said something about how jars should be called jugs. And I was not able to get your name? I was wearing a black band t-shirt."

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We're keeping things brief today because we're on our way out of town to see Terence Malick's long-awaited new film Tree of Life.

Chip: "I hear that at least fifty minutes of it consists of extreme close-ups of leaves. Could that be true?"

Richard: "It's possible, Chip."

Chip: "I think I may opt for Mr. Popper's Penguins instead. The NY-Times raves that it's "90 minutes of tolerable jollity,' which is often how I boast about my own lovemaking skills."

Scenester Moment of the Week: Hospital Ships and a Mannequin Head / Local Lego Competion

So we were rocking with Pitchfork-darlings Hospital Ships at their Love Garden CD release party last night (as mandated by hipster law) and, just before launching into "Galaxies," Jordan Geiger requested that a severed mannequin head (from the mannequin in the song's video ) be passed around throughout the crowd and filled with donations for touring. The head moved slowly through the scenester throng, with most holding it almost reverently (and a few--rare--generous scenesters even placing a dollar or so in it). You can see a video of the procession over at I Heart Local Music (link in sidebar).

Chip: "No one seemed to think this severed mannequin head worship was weird at all. Except me. I thought it was some sort of secret scenester ritual. Like I had wandered into a coven. A hipster coven."

Two other observations:

1) We think Hospital Ships' "Carry On" should be selected as Larryville's official scenester anthem. It's just so simultaneously sad and hopeful ("The world doesn't care if you're in it or not...when I'm gone, carry on, carry on.").

2) We're not sure what the final song was (too many Dixie beers by then), but the final moments of Geiger repeating the mantra "I will not go quietly through this world" against a storm of distortion was really, really nice. Even Chip was inspired.

Chip: "And also worried about the eardrums of the little dancing hipster children in the crowd. As the storybook says, 'Go the fuck to sleep.'"

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We also stopped outside The Toy Store last night to peruse the entries in the Larryville Lego competition. We particularly liked this one: a model of St. Luke AME Church on New York Street (photo below).

We are now inspired to submit our own entries. Richard is doing a Lego Replay populated by little Lego scenesters and Chip, of course, is doing a Lego Quinton's.

Chip: "The little Lego titties of the waitresses are as cute as they are erotic."

Local Artists Discuss Brownback / Weekend Music Guide / Two More ADD Correspondent Applications!

Today's LJ-World contains an important piece about yesterday's gathering of local artists and legislators, who met to discuss possible reactions/solutions to Governor Brownback's arts cuts. But talkbackers are more interested in discussing the accompanying photograph, which offers a nice cleavage shot:














However, a few talkbackers do have art-related points to make, such as this rant from local artist "Puddleglum," who seems more than a little bitter about you clique-y young drunken whippersnappers and your hip downtown art galleries:

"As a local artist, I see firsthand how local 'artists' gang up on anyone new, or should I say anyone that successfully sells their own art. The jealousy is amazing. They include you, if you give them money to buy kegs of beer (the old-guard doesn't donate anything, and they get all the choice spots at the final fridays) and when you sell a few of your prints-they get all upset and jealous because they didn't sell anything (because their art sux?) The local art regime is the only one benefiting from the arts commission. I for one, couldn't give a hoot! My art does just fine online and anywhere else. I never asked anybody to subsidize my art, even back when I first started (well, okay-my parents bought all of supplies)"

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Let's survey this week's musical offerings. Which is hip enough for you?

Tonight brings a wacky Team Bear Club Beach Party to the Tap Room (flyer in sidebar). Here's the scoop from the Facebook event page:

LOOK @ YRSELF
BEACH ATTIRE ONLY, RARE PRIZES FOR BEST SWIMSUIT
GOOMBAS GET WET
ALSO: WE PLAYIN SPIN THE BOTTLE ♥ ♥ ♥

Chip: "My boner is going to be super-obvious in my swim trunks."

Bear Club CEO Phil Canty just sent us this important personal message about tonight:

"Goombas bout to get wet. Tonight mingle is fully legal, the rare age of 18. Bear club is proud to present the wettest, most swagged out nighT ever. We are about to bring the rice out. #rice #swag #mingle "

Meanwhile, our old pal Nezbeat has a show down the street at the Jackpot. He took one of our composition courses many years ago, and we like to believe our writing instruction helped him improve his "flow." Make sure to check out his recent ADD podcast interview with BARRR.


For the early birds, Extra Ordinary is rocking the Replay matinee and might hold some interest for the aging scenesters (contains members of Gourmet Mushroom X) as well as horny young men like Chip (features "hot chick singer"). Some info from their FB page:

"Long time rockers hook up with hot chick singer, straight forward rock n roll, right out of the garage...Rob and Kurt played in gardrails and with Steve in Bromptons Cocktail, all three played in Gourmet Mushroom X together...Steph just joined up, is PHENOMENAL!!!!!, and is perfect for the band...great sassy vocals with an attitude to match! Great live show, come check us out!!!"





On Saturday, our good friend (and former LC writer) M. Cl.thier will be doing a set of cover tunes at the Burger Stand at 10:00. His previous gig was at the Yacht Club, where he spent his evenings dealing with Jagered-up frat boys yelling for Dave Matthews. But he's worked up a new, scenester-friendly set for the downtown crowd, and promises us Pavement, Pixies, and (for Captain Chanute) a Duran Duran song. Get drunk and sing along, and if he plays something unhip it's okay to toss a duck-fat french fry at him.
















After Cl.thier's gig ends at midnight, there's still time to rock with our Twitter-buddies Tangent Arc at the Replay. We answered their riddle and won a free download of their album this week. Verdict: their "angular pop rock" is a welcome addition to the local scene's current abundance of garage rock.


















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Last but not least, two more applications have rolled in for the ADD correspondent gig. Deadline is midnight tonight, so it's not too late to write a paragraph and join the fray. These two join Tweetnasty and Tyler Waugh as very strong candidates. Both tip their hats to BARRR just the right amount (not enough to be kiss-ass-y, but just enough to impress that fucker, who loves when people talk about him).

We'll be holding special "PBR-sessions" with Boss BARRR throughout the weekend to determine the winners, and the verdict will be leveled on Monday.

First up today is Olivia Hernandez. We're impressed by her "real world" (outside of Larryville) knowledge, her penchant for un-PC jokes (one of them just ancient enough to be hip again) and her brash style and confident writing.

"Let me tell you why I am the Next Big A.D.D. Correspondent. For starters, I’m motherfucking Olivia Hernandez, aka ‘@oliphaunts’, aka ‘w00tstock’ – oh, what am I saying.

I am young, vivacious, and I like all the pre-requisite artsy fartsy stuff that keep me and Jason useful to one another on Twitter. I consider myself to be “try-lingual”, in that I attempt to speak many languages, but for now I effectively speak English and Spanish. This means that not only can I interview a new and hip restaurant owner, I can even interview his cooks! Jokes! My humor is dry and sarcastic, but occasionally I can drop a funny here and there. Here’s another joke: what’s red and messy and crawls up your leg? You’ll have to get to the end of my application to find out. In addition to my language capabilities, my skills include proficiency in Garageband and Protools, and I love traveling as much as possible (in two years alone, I have explored ten major cities in the United States and spent time in three of the seven continents). I am a girl and enjoy conversation, though I am decidedly not a girly conversationalist. I am fearless. Or perhaps shameless is the better word. Point is, I have no problem awkwardly waiting to informally interview an artist or performer post-show, then talk about it on the air as though I had an official sit-down chat worthy of the Pitchfork blogosphere (for more, ask me about that one time I saw Deakin in Amsterdam, Holland). This is the kind of audacious tenacity that draws out a great sound bite, or story, or plain old don’t-do-that-again-lesson that makes for a great podcast. I would know. For three seasons, I manned my very own indie-electronica radio spectacular known formally as ‘welcome to w00tstock’ a platform I used to discuss music news, album and concert reviews, as well as shed light on issues close to my heart, issues like local activism and social justice. For as much of a music and general geek as I am, there is no denying that I do take real issues quite seriously. As a recent graduate with degrees in Political Science and International Studies, I’m sure I can handle any topic ranging from the Israeli-Palestinian crisis to what the fuck is holding up same-sex marriage? Or, we can just sit around and try to figure out what exactly makes Sweden produce the kind of music it does, namely spooky electronica or blackest death metal around, whichever. I think I’d make an unforgettable addition to the A.D.D. team because I am a committed team player with a unique perspective to offer. Most important though, I love building something local and true and meaningful up from the grassroots level, contributing to something for the people by the people – so pick me! It’s the American way. (Oh, the answer to that joke? A homesick abortion.)"



Next is Tim Dwyer, who knows his way around insider Larryville humor, can deliver a punch line, and employs hashtags even in his prose (which is so hip right now).



I should be the new man on the street A.D.D. correspondent because I know where you live...

I should be the new man on the street A.D.D. correspondent because I don't give a god-damn 'bout the shows ya did or who knows ya kid...

I should be the new man on the street A.D.D. correspondent because I have nothing better to do then harass people...

I should be the new man on the street A.D.D. correspondent because I wanna get laid...

I should be the new man on the street A.D.D. correspondent because I want to know what's really going on in this town...

I should be the new man on the street A.D.D. correspondent because I have a MFA and it has to be good for something...

I should be the new man on the street A.D.D. correspondent because there is nothing really going on in this town...

I should be the new man on the street A.D.D. correspondent because I have no filter...

I should be the new man on the street A.D.D. correspondent because I like streets...

I should be the new man on the street A.D.D. correspondent because I have a wide array of useless knowledge about underground cult media that needs to be transferred to another consciousness before I can transcend my current corporeal paradox...

I should be the new man on the street A.D.D. correspondent because I love Howard Callihan...

I should be the new man on the street A.D.D. correspondent because I wanna follow Fat Head around...

I should be the new man on the street A.D.D. correspondent because I'm sick of sitting at Henry's all day...

I should be the new man on the street A.D.D. correspondent because I don't read Pitchfork or Vice or have a Twitter account...

I should be the new man on the street A.D.D. correspondent because people don't know when I'm serious...

I should be the new man on the street A.D.D. correspondent because Sleeze Pizza don't ride no mo'...

I should be the new man on the street A.D.D. correspondent because I come sharp as a blade and cut slow...

#Numsayin' #DAWG #WORD!!!!

Regretfully yours,

ADD's new man on the streetz,

Tim Dwyer

Twangy Pick of the Day: Atomic Duo / We Celebrate Bloomsday

Twang-loving scenesters are on high-alert today, having noted that former Bad Livers' member Mark Rubin's new project, Atomic Duo, will be playing a special Thursday Replay matinee. Here's what we uncovered via the interweb:

"Playing a guitar and mandolin graciously provided by the National Resophonic Guitar Company; they are most comfortable performing entirely acoustically, without microphones, much in the same way their musical forefathers found perfectly acceptable."

Given the acoustics on the patio and the inevitable presence of loud-talking scenesters, we look forward to not hearing a single fucking note.

Also, those who are hipper than us and stick around for the late show with Joe Jack Talcum, Samuel Locke Ward, and the Bass-Turd are likely in for a weird time, and should submit reviews to us.

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It's Bloomsday, the annual Joycean celebration of Ulysses, the events of which take place entirely on June 16th. Since Larryville is such a literary town, you can surely count on various festivities throughout the day, right?

Wrong.

But Chip plans to re-enact the masturbation scenes at some point.

In our research for this post, we stumbled upon a description of a film called James Joyce's Women, from 1985:

"The centerpiece of the film is Molly's masturbation, the filmed version of which must occupy about 20 uninterrupted minutes of screen time. The entire scene, including finger-to-genital contact, is pictured on camera. This is an extraordinary moment in cinema, because the naked woman playing with her privates in front of you is not a B-movie starlet, a stripper, a porno star, or a fading movie queen making a final grasp for attention, but a legitimate classical actress [Fionnula Flanagan] ala Dame Edith Evans or Meryl Streep. Since she is an excellent actress and a natural looking woman, the scene creates the impression that we are actually watching a woman masturbate, and that she is unaware of our presence."

How in the hell have we never seen this? Liberty Hall, do you have it? Or perhaps we should check the back room at Miracle Video?

You might also want to visit our Bloomsday post from last year, in which we examined some of Joyce's legendary dirty letters and Chip learned a phrase that has served him well ever since:

"You know now how to give me a cockstand."

Flag Day Recap With Up the Academy / The LC Book Club Reads Pride and Prejudice: Hidden Lusts

If it's Flag Day in Larryville, you can bet there's going to be scenesters gathering to enjoy PB&J sandwiches and tea.

Chip: "I thought this was going to be one of those conservative 'tea parties.' Imagine my surprise and disapppointment."

Look: there's Nate from ex-Fag Cop next to the refreshments!














Yes, Love Garden provided a fine venue for last night's patriotic activities, along with a performance from Up the Academy, though we couldn't help wishing this event had taken place at the Church of Malt Liquor to provide more of an all-American picnic feeling.

This was our first time seeing Up the Academy, and we snapped the following photo from the front row before moving back to protect our ears from their intense and impressive garage-rock onslaught (we suspect the second song might have been called "Push and Pull" or something along those lines: at any rate, it will melt your face, but in a good way).
















We didn't catch the full set, because we soon had to rush off and engage in a long pseudo-intellectual discussion of the new Woody Allen flick, Midnight in Paris (Richard: "Louis Bunuel's response when the time-traveling Owen Wilson attempts to explain to him the plot of Bunuel's future film The Exterminating Angel is delightfully witty!"). Perhaps our friend Johnny Hamm's, who was on the scene, will submit a piece later that fleshes out the rest of the evening's rock and roll festivities.

We still can't find a lot of on-line presence from Up the Academy, perhaps because most searches will lead you to the 1980 comedy romp of the same name, starring Ralph Macchio ("The education they got wasn't in books!"). Did the band take their name from this film? Next time we'll ask.























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Now that we've worked our way through all the literary/monster-mash-ups such as Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, we're in the mood for a new spin on Jane Austen. Lucky for us, there's Mitzi Szereto's Pride and Prejudice: Hidden Lusts, a rewrite of the novel with a new emphasis on explicit fucking. Here's a truly excellent boner scene that we wish we'd written ourselves:

"As he surveyed the drawing in the light coming through the window, a presence began to make itself known in his breeches. All thoughts of their new neighbor Mr. Bingley and his wife’s determination to make him a son-in-law became a distant memory as Mr. Bennet unbuttoned the flap of his breeches and reached inside, his fingers encountering an object that rose up with a vigor the likes of which he had not experienced since his youth, and he grasped it firmly in his hand, eager to begin his long-neglected journey to pleasure."

Chip: "At first I wasn't sure what the 'presence' was referring to, and then I figured it out: Bennet had a boner!"

Check out this Library Journal review:

"Veteran erotic author Szereto (In Sleeping Beauty’s Bed: Erotic Fairy Tales) has produced a clever retelling that is by turns lusty, literary, and just plain ludicrous. Lydia Bennett’s frenzied nymphomania, Mr. Bennett’s fondness for dirty pictures, and Lady Catherine’s skill at using a horsewhip to discipline naughty parishioners are among the more comical elements of Szereto’s spicy homage, while Bingley’s nocturnal visits to Darcy’s chamber and Charlotte’s inordinate fondness for Elizabeth add a dash of slash. The endless graphic sex may grow tedious to some...".

We predict that it won't grow tedious for us, so we're taking a break from writing our own fan-fiction (Chip tends to write LC-related fan fiction, starring himself) and picking this up as soon as possible. Does the Lawrence Public Library have a copy?

Larryville's Up The Academy / Pitchfork Reviews Woods' Sea and Shade / Another Application for BARRR's Podcast / Summer Fashion

When local rock-critic King Tosser first witnessed Up the Academy at the recent Spring Into Summer festival, he immediately deemed them the "second best band in Larryville." The first, of course, was Rooftop Vigilantes. But now that the Vigilantes are (presumably?) on hiatus, with Oscar serving food-truck tacos in Brooklyn, Up the Academy can claim that number one spot!

You can see them early tonight at a special "Flag Day" show at Love Garden (see flier in sidebar). And how do we celebrate Flag Day in Lawrence? Apparently with free PB&J sandwiches and sweet tea! Personally, we prefer PBR with our PB&J, of course, and we imagine there will be plenty of that on hand as well. We had occasion to chat briefly with an Academy member at the Replay on Sunday, and he mused on how the Love Garden gig would pan out: "We play loud."

Look for us near the back, briefly, until Chip is frightened away.

If they have much of an interweb presence, we can't find it, and that only makes them hipper.

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Our favorite Pitchfork reviews are the ones that drift further and further into other (preferably somewhat obscure) musical comparisons. Here are a few bits from Pitchfork's recent 7.9 review of Woods' Sun and Shade:

"Out of the Eye" is a Krautrock homage constructed from the basic ingredients of Neu!'s "Hallogallo", but slowed down by a third and with a Middle Eastern tinge in the guitars."

"...here the basic model is the pastoral psych of Popol Vuh from the middle of that decade."

Woods will be rocking at St. Cecilia's R.C. Church during the Northside Festival in Brooklyn this Friday (Catholic hipsters, eh?). Captain Chanute, please go see them and report back on how strong that Popol Vuh-influence really is in their work.

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Tyler Waugh is "reppin" Larryville, Team Bear Club, ADD, and kickball in his application for BARRR's ADD-correspondent position (edited by @oxfordist ). He's got some sweet dance moves, is proficient in the use of Myspace, and seems to enjoy barbecue. This self-described "go-getter" and "young professional" is yet another strong candidate, and we predict his goofy/sweet persona would play well in a "man on the street" setting. Between Tyler and Tweetnasty, BARRR's got a tough choice to make. And you readers only have a few days left to submit applications (written or videos). Get to work. Contest ends Friday.

Watch Tyler's video here

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We didn't make it to KC's huge West 18th Street Fashion Show event this weekend, but here's a look we predict will really catch on this summer (photo from the Pitch, which offers a nice slideshow):



















Larryville, please organize a preposterous outdoor fashion event, ASAP!

Kickball Romance Under the Lights at Hobbs / Concert Review: The Jenny Mules at Replay / Captain Chanute Brings News From Brooklyn

Let's start with the talk of the town this morning, and congratulate a happy couple: Billy Gay Cyrus proposed to Broadzilla on the kickball field at the Game of the Week! (also, congrats to Late Fees on winning the game).

Personally, we won't be satisfied unless the marriage itself takes place in the same location, officiated (naturally) by the official local kickball Pooh Bear:



















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As usual, we missed all the action at Hobbs, since we were situated in front of the stage at the Replay for a matinee show by The Jenny Mules. This five-piece honky-tonk outfit (with a little folk/bluegrass/alt-country tossed in for good measure) was new to us, but they seem to have emerged on the scene fully-formed and professional (their young drummer also rocks local stages, significantly louder, in Up The Academy: check the sidebar for their Tuesday show featuring free PB&J and sweet tea at Love Garden!).

We dug both the Jenny Mules' originals (something about drinking shots in the Mississippi mud) and their well-picked selection of covers (a Bad Blake tune from Crazy Heart; an early Gillian Welch song; a pitch-perfect reading of The Gourds' "El Paso"-- "I'm gonna dance with a strawberry girl, gonna dance with a strawberry girl.").

Here are the Jenny Mules (click to enlarge). We're pretty sure it's a rule that at least one member of every matinee Replay band must play barefoot. (Chip: "Isn't that a little dangerous, since the Replay floor is no doubt littered with broken glass, blood, vomit, and syringes?").




















And here's the headline band, Claxton (a new incarnation of Brent Berry and friends). Note the barefoot fiddle player.

Chip: "If we're being honest here, I should admit that I have a total barefoot lady fiddle player fetish. Is that normal?"

Richard: "Yes."
















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Our foreign correspondent Captain Chanute sent us this short missive over the weekend:

"I'll be damned if I didn't see the lead singer of Rooftop Vigilantes in Hipsterland last night! Yep. Apparently Oscar has moved to NYC a mere 7 days ago and is now serving up tacos in a truck in Williamsburg. He hooked me up with a freebie and even remembered my connection to the Professor [King Tosser]. Classy guy that Oscar."

We hope that the Captain will be on the scene this weekend at what promises to be one of the hippest events in the history of hipsterdom: the Northside Festival in Brooklyn. Get the scoop here .

"Never has absolutely nothing been done with more style and determination than in early twenty-first-century Williamsburg, Brooklyn." --David Goodwillie, American Subversive

Sunday Scenester Guide: Kickball, Foodies, Shakespeare, Woodsman, and Tape Deck Mountain / Chip's Biography, Vol. III

It's a busy Sunday in Larryville, and there's something for everyone on tap. For the scenesters, there's kickball ("The Chalmersiz’ Captain is very confident, so confident that he claims he will kick his first ever left footed home run against the Satanists From Outer Space."--Coach Billy Gay Cyrus over at the KVKL blog ) For the foodies, there's the 2nd annual River City Cookoff at Abe and Jake's (with chefs from Esquina and 715 participating, we're hoping for funky tacos and fried rabbit legs). And for the literary types, there might even be a Lawrence Shakespeare Festival performing King Lear at Watson Park. We say "might" because it's barely listed anywhere (aside from the Channel 6 site ),and surely a family-friendly event like this would receive at least a modicum of actual publicity from L.com or the LJ-World, right?

As far as music goes, we'll be seeing The Jenny Mules at the Replay matinee, because we like the name, and will let the hipsters hit the Jackpot later on for Woodsman and Tape Deck Mountain.

We'll leave you with these two unintentionally hilarious Pitchfork quotes to whet your appetite.

Regarding Woodsman (we used this quote before when they were here in April): "...their sound is naturalistic and reminiscent of some of the more outré acts from the late, great Jewelled Antler Collective, who would sometimes rely only on field recordings and scraped-pinecone sounds to evoke nature's aura."

Regarding Tape Deck Mountain: "...the band swaps a perfectly tenuous, lumbering 90-second stretch of feedback-slathered post-rock for three and a half minutes of corroded dialogue over an airy woodwind suite. Looped backwards. So it's not to say that Tape Deck Mountain don't have potential..."


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A new Sunday tradition on the LC: another installment of Chip's biography.

"Without the stern value system of the country, Chip's first years in Lawrence were naturally a time of wild sexual experimentation (mostly by himself in a small, dark off-campus apartment). He tried several different lifestyles in college, first joining a frat, where he loved the company of the drunken, nubile sorority girls who hung out there (they found his love of tennis to be "cute" but they preferred fucking the basketball players). However, Chip soon found himself simultaneously frightened and attracted by the latent homosexuality of the frathouse, and decided to move into a loft instead and "do art" for awhile. In this period, he grew his hair long, dressed in black, and spent afternoons at the Bourgeois Pig, smoking clove cigarettes and reading Camus and drinking vermouth.* But after a while, he sensed this bohemian, intellectual lifestyle was not for him either. So he cut his hair, donned a hooded sweatshirt, and began to settle into the role we know today, presenting himself as a sort of poet/athlete, a man of the country endlessly fascinated by a city full of hot ass yet slightly disapproving of its ways (such as the debauchery he occasionally unwillingly witnesses at the Replay, which is exactly the sort of place his preachers used to warn him about). Today's Chip is a far cry from the young man we met in Fort Scott, who wanted only to escape. Now he longs to go back to the farm, drive a tractor, chew tobacco, and settle down with a cornfed country gal with child-bearing hips. In the cool of summer evenings, they will relax in the porch swing with a glass of iced tea, surrounded by their eleven children, and Chip will recite Housman's "When I Was One and Twenty."


*Name that hipster music reference and win a free PBR!

Saturday Art Blog: Live Painting, Consumer Foreplay, and the New Biemer's Sign / Kickstarter Campaign of the Week: Mammoth Life EP

It's International Yarnbombing Day and we're knitting a large SHOUT PEACE blanket that we'll drape over various locations throughout the day. Here's a handy explanation of this important celebration for those who aren't in the know:

"...their weapon is wool and their goal is to enhance cities with their creations rather than destroy...on Saturday, June 11th this global network of "graffiti knitters" will target objects in local areas that they want to enhance with their handiwork, as part of the first International Yarnbombing Day" (www.reuters.com).

We hope to see the work of you local yarnbombers throughout town today!

While we're on the subject of art, let's take a look at a few other artistic endeavors in the area.

Last night at the Replay matinee, this guy painted a large work with BB King written on it while the Brody Buster Band played three feet away. Perhaps the artist was so stoned that he actually believed he was listening to BB King. If so, he was very stoned indeed.
















Our pick for the best piece in KC right now goes to David Watne's "Consumer Foreplay" at Studios Inc. Exhibition Space:

"The exhibit’s title piece, “Consumer Foreplay"... is a masterpiece of fetishism. For this glorious rococo sculpture, Watne cut and sewed elongated swaths of different colored leathers that simulate giant designer handbags, from which emerge hand-carved legs and arms groping themselves. Attached are beads, hosiery, hair and butterflies in a titillating tangle of the crassest of materialism."

Richard: "In its explicit sexual merging of the physical and material worlds, this piece has a wonderfully Cronenbergian element that intrigues me greatly."

Chip: "I've rarely been so aroused by handbags."

Read more about the piece here and click the photo to enlarge and peruse the piece.
















Finally, the continuing series of sexual-innuendo signs at Biemer's in Larryville has become a work of art in itself. Remember "We Rub Our Meat Daily?" Chip is still laughing about that one.

Their new one ("Get R Sauce On Your Face") is the most graphic yet:


















Our feminist readers: "Who's running this fucking restaurant anyway? Why not just accompany the sign with a video billboard of pornographic 'facials?'"

Chip: "That's probably the best idea you ladies have had yet!"



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Scenesters, we know you recently invested some of your hard-earned beer money in The Spook Lights' Kickstarter campaign to fund their new film (which is perhaps filming as we speak, and no doubt full of naked people).

But if you've got a bit of cash left over, consider helping out our Twitter-buddies in Mammoth Life as they finish up work on their Rock and Roll Kids EP. They're a duo these days and still the snazziest uniformed cats in town. They were kind enough to give us a "sneak listen" to the tracks, which we can assure you are catchy summertime jams perfect for shotgunning a PBR or two on your patio and which we'll be reviewing in full at some point prior to their July 28th release-party at the Jackpot.

Chip: "Since when are we actual music critics?"

Richard: "Since people started sending us free shit, man!"

Go here to help them out and score sweet prizes based on your generosity levels.

Pitchfork Reviews Hospital Ships / Tweetnasty Applies for the BARRR Podcast Position

Let's not kid ourselves: we've all been a bit worried about how Pitchfork would review the new Hospital Ships' album Lonely Twin. Would they give it a Vice Magazine-style slamming that makes us all question our love of the record? Or would they heap career-making praise upon it?

Well, the results are in, and Pitchfork approves. Their verdict: a solid 7.0.

However, we're not fond of the implication that Larryville is lagging behind in hipster culture:

"On his MySpace page, Jordan Geiger gently razzes the indie press bio form, noting, "I only record in REMOTE CABINS in the WINTER in BROOKLYN with a CANADIAN COLLECTIVE as my backing band. I have overcome MANY TRAGEDIES! My PARENTS are FAMOUS!" Tongue-in-cheek and perhaps a little too 2008..." (Pitchfork).

Come on, Pitchfork. It's true that our unceasing fixation on kickball and lack of food trucks keeps us a little behind the times, but we're completely up to date in terms of our listening preferences. And you're the ones quoting Myspace, for fuck's sake! Not us.

Read the full review here

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The submissions are rolling in (trickling, actually) for BARRR's ADD-correspondent contest. We begin with this one from occasional LC advice columnist Tweetnasty:

"I had to look at quite a bit of Barrr's twitter feed to find the info for this thing so you know I'm serious. I think ADD would benefit from a *lady* on the street. Hey, why are you laughing? I'm a lady. I spend a lot of time on streets, so I feel this would suit me well. Barr and I share a love for so many things but we could also clash in interesting and hilarious ways. For instance, we both really like the sound of our own voice, the way his wife looks in a swimsuit, and cocaine. He likes to make fun of me, and that's okay! I think my track record speaks for itself. I have lots of Twitter followers from all over the world, and have written TWO advice column blogs for Larryville Life that are awesome and full of boner jokes. I can talk about vaginas, too. Don't worry. Oh, art and music are cool. Like Lady Gaga, right? I was trying to wait until others entered so I could blow them out of the water, but I decided to set the BARRR (see what I did there?) low. May the best man/lady/tranny win!"

Our thoughts:

Notice how Tweetnasty begins with a subtle dig at BARRR, whose instructions for this contest HAVE been a bit confusing (which we assume is all part of his master plan). She's obviously not afraid to spar with him, and that's a good sign. As she points out, her female perspective is probably her best selling point for this job. Obviously, our own blog and many of BARRR's podcasts are essentially "boys-clubs," so her frank, female-centric discussions of sex are likely to expand the demographic beyond the usual circle-jerk.

Verdict: She's a strong candidate.

Rumor is that we'll soon be seeing a video application from Team Bear Club member and man-on-the-scene Tyler Waugh. Stay tuned!