Wednesday, June 16, 2010

The LC Celebrates Bloomsday! / Hipster Pick of the Day: Mistress Stephanie and Her Melodic Cat at the Replay!

It's Bloomsday, readers, the annual celebration of James Joyce (particularly Ulysses, which is set on this day). The boys plan to toast Joyce as usual, with a guerilla reading of his work at the Red Lyon. Will this prove problematic today, given the fact that the pub is full of crazed soccer hooligans watching the World Cup who are likely to pummel the boys senseless? We'll find out.

Amongst the boys' selections will be, of course, Molly's masturbation scene, which remains their perpetual favorite (and one of the few parts they've actually read):

" . . . and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes."

But the boys have also recently discovered Joyce's amazingly filthy love letters to Nora, which they also plan to read today. We'll offer you a taste below, but much of it is simply too naughty for our sensitive audience, so make sure to go to this site and read the letters in full, if you are one who is so inclined (Dr. X, Dr. C, etc):

"My sweet naughty little fuckbird...You seem anxious to know how I received your letter which you say is worse than mine. How is it worse than mine, love? Yes, it is worse in one part or two. I mean the part where you say what you will do with your tongue (I don't mean sucking me off) and in that lovely word you write so big and underline, you little blackguard. It is thrilling to hear that word (and one or two others you have not written) on a girl's lips. But I wish you spoke of yourself and not of me. Write me a long long letter , full of that and other things, about yourself, darling. You know now how to give me a cockstand."

Chip: "I totally have a 'cockstand' right now. Also, I hope that, when I become a famous writer, someone publishes a collection of my best 'sextings,' which are fantastically erotic. I tend to use the word 'panties' a lot, following the recent advice of Christina Hendricks in Esquire, and sometimes I spell it 'pantiez,' for some reason."

Richard: "I find Joyce's dirty letters much preferable to Finnegan's Wake."


If you love preposterous hipster band names as much as we do, you'll want to be in attendance at the Replay tonight when Mistress Stephanie and Her Melodic Cat take the stage.

Apparently the titular 'cat' refers to her male vocalist and not, as we were hoping, to an actual cat that she squeezes and makes meow in a tuneful fashion, but the band, with songs like "Shake Your Dance Stick," still sounds pretty intriguing and we think the Leotards, in particular, should check them out (also, the Leotards should use an actual cat in their performances):


a note from your super ruler said...


This seems to indicate I shall, someday, become Anglophone's greatest wordsmithy. Hmmm. So Fuck you all, and fuck me!

I am the world's FUCKIEST!


...I mean, seriously, I write this shit everyday. I'll see you all at the Nobel's.

paint em all white said...

I say to you literary patsies that shy away from the main source, man's archetypal pen and his archetypal tablet:

The world is ready for another fucksmith!

cockstand! said...

How wonderfully filthy!

I believe this blog just got a from-the-grave approval from one of the pillars of modern literature. Harry's future looks bright indeed!

you naughty little blackguards! said...

I knew you all would like such filth!

Could we make bras illegal? said...

Reading this stuff makes my penis smile.

...and then he throws up. Such a mess.