Notes from the Front Lines of Larryville's Cultural Scene

Certain readers often say to themselves, "Chip and Richard sure do talk shit about various local happenings, but do they ever actually go out and mingle with the masses anymore?" (Chip: "I call the masses the 'great unwashed,' and I mean this literally. Many people at Free State and Papa Keno's seem covered in a thin veneer of dust and grime.").

Well, yes, they still hit the bars on occasion, and today we present a summary of their recent experiences at Harbour Lights, a bar which seems to be in an interesting transition between townie and hipster status. On several recent evenings there the boys have observed:

--a man getting thrown out of the bar and into a bicycle (probably a townie fight).

--an arm wrestling competition (townies)

--members of numerous local bands mixing and mingling (hipsters)

--an appearance by one of their favorite, bespectacled brunette Quinton's waitresses, a surreal encounter which led Kip to feel that her presence at Harbour "tainted her aura" and Richard to argue that it meant she was approachable and that he would likely soon bang her (Dr. C: "Or at least her friends.").

Last night was especially unusual. At one point, Chip, watching basketball, was approached by an older, short, drunk woman who introduced herself as something that sounded like Sweet Pea and insisted he tell her about the book he was reading at the bar earlier in the evening. Here is a transcription of the conversation that ensued.

Chip: "It was for my dissertation. A book about humanism."

Sweet Pea: "Oh, really. I once survived without humanism for an entire year. I lived in a cave in Yellowstone."

Chip: "What did you eat?"

Sweet Pea: "Truffles."

Chip, to Richard: "I think I'm going to call it a night."