Chip: "I have to go with New Year's Eve, primarily because of the midnight kiss, which can easily transition into a midnight blowjob, if you're with a sorostitute who is not yet passed out. But St. Patty's is fun, don't get me wrong. I enjoy the pinching especially. And there's also a kissing element, apparently, since I've seen several girls out wearing short shorts that say 'kiss me I'm Irish' on the ass, which I find both arousing and perverse. But like most Americans, I'm not even entirely sure what this holiday is about. I think it has to do with snakes...or potatoes. And wearing green. And James Joyce. He's the one who drove the snakes out of Dublin, I believe."
Richard: "After last year, I have to go with Cinco de Mayo. It's an unusual choice, yes, but I enjoy Mexican beers and the weather is warm enough in Larryville by then that the girls at the Sandbar are practically naked. Still, St. Patty's in Larryville is always fun. I love the fact that the family parade ends at the Flamingo strip club in the Northside. It just feels right. Although one can only assume that numerous families never make it back alive from that side of the river."