Richard: "Visitors were greeted by a table outdoors containing a tree constructed of what seemed to be Little Debbie doughnut snack cakes, the consumption of which, I can only assume, was meant to allow for a feeling of 'oneness' between human and tree. Proceeding inside, a giant tree was projected onto a wall for visitors to trace, creating a sort of God-like feeling of benevolence toward our leafy friends before we proceeded to observe the various paintings and photographs of local trees, including the local favorite tree near Border's that was brutally murdered to make way for the downtown lofts. My favorite work was a series of tree paintings with the words "human huggers" superimposed on them. I love trees, now more than ever."
And how did Richard's out-of-town friends feel: "It was sort of cute, I guess."
Chip: "Okay, here's the thing. When I was a teenager in Forttt Scottt, raised on a farm, yes, I'll admit, I spent a lot of time sitting in trees, gazing down upon the rolling hills and grazing sheep and sometimes composing little poems about girls I wanted to kiss. We hunted in the forests and we swung on tire swings and Old Man Douglas kept a rope in a tree in his yard and often threatened to 'string up the Mexicans' that he believed were stealing his peaches. But when I became a man, I put away childish things...and I went to Quinton's."
Oklahoma recently chose an "official rock song" for their state, the eventual winner being Norman natives Flaming Lips' "Do you Realize," despite the fact that the song has nothing to do with Oklahoma and is virtually impossible to sing along to. Shouldn't a state rock song be a sing-along-style anthem, perhaps something like "Never Been to Spain," a perennial favorite at Cl.thier's gigs, popularized by Three Dog Night: "Well, I've never been to heaven, but I've been to Oklahoma."
And what would Kansas' official rock song be, if we were cool enough to have one?
Richard: "Well, probably it would be something shitty by the band Kansas, most likely 'Carry On, My Wayward Son.' But it should be the Transmittens' 'Meet Me at the Swings." Look at this cute new picture of them riding their bikes."