Thursday, March 12, 2009

The Boys Discuss a Master's in "Beatles Studies"

Liverpool Hope University is scheduled to begin offering a full Master's degree program in "Beatles Studies." How do the boys feel about such a degree?

Chip: "I'm leery. I imagine most of the classes will do nothing but sit around pondering the 'meaning' of songs like "I Am the Walrus": "Elementary penguin singing hari krishna / Man, you should have seen them kicking edgar allan poe." Well, guess what, scholars, it doesn't mean anything! Plus, I suspect the upcoming Decemberists' concept album, which is said to involve "a lady named Margaret, her dude William, a 'rake', and a forest queen" (source: interweb) will make Sgt. Pepper's pale by comparison."

Richard: "I'm in favor, although I'd personally prefer a Ph.D in Dylan. Actually, I've been considering starting a Master's program of my own, in "Hipster Studies." We'd devote one class, for instance, to an examination of hipster trends, such as their preference for cheap, terrible beers and their passion for childhood games like kickball. We'd also examine seminal hipster bands (The Pixies) and filmmakers (Wes Anderson). Naturally, hipsters themselves would be far too hip to take these classes, and I imagine the students would mostly be outcasts who desired to be 'hip.' And by the time they earned their degree they'd ideally be capable of attending a show at the Replay and talking intelligently about Pavement while sipping a PBR."

Chip: "To demystify and add to hipster culture might ultimately be to destroy it, since the culture depends on its small numbers and specialized knowledge. I think you should do this."


i'll take the stones said...

In related news, Dartford Grammar School, the alma mater of Keith Richards and Mick Jagger, is offering a course, "The ABCs of The Rolling Stones". Nigel Woodley, Headmaster of Dartford, had this to say:

"Here at Dartford, we believe the Stones are more than worthy of study, even moreso than The Beatles. From a sheer volume of creative output, the Jagger/Richards catalog dwarfs the Lennon/McCartney catalog. Not to mention, the Stones would have kicked the Beatles asses."

When asked if Dartford would be offering, like Liverpool Hope, a PhD option, Woodley noted that most of the Dartford student body was struggling with "i before e" and their multiplication tables, but that Samantha Robinson showed great academic promise and would soon, if all went well, move on to fractions.

Chip: "Fractions. Now there's something worth studying. If 1/5 of the waitresses at Quinton's would have sex with me, what percentage would that be? Who knows...but 1 is enough for me!"

nice said...

Wow, here's a whole blog entry buried in the comments section!

--nice work!

forrest said...

'shyeah, you never know what you're gonna get. Sometimes you click over to comments and it's just a bunch of random-ass hooligannery. And you think, why did I waste my time?

And other times, you think, that was worth a click.

hooligan said...

Yeah, write funnier shit here, random-asses!

that's not a soccer riot! said...

I like how forrest left it ambiguous as to whether these comments were more of the aforementioned "hooligannery" or "worth a click"!

Do tell, forrest!

And who else is on the edge of their seats wondering whether Harry and Muffy will finally get to consummate their were-love?! I am!

hardcore were-fan said...

Same here. I'm willing to bet that by the end of Dr. X or C's installments, we'll finally have the raw and passionate wolf-sex that we've all been hoping for!

cl.thier said...

Hey now - I believe my installment was filled with orgiastic (and Fitzgerald's "orgastic"?) raw and passionate wolf-sex! Are your desires for furry f*****g not yet sated, dear Readers? Your appetites are indeed great.

furry fucker said...

The werewolf-cheerleader orgy was interrupted before its climax! (by those damn East Side Lycanthropes!).