Wednesday, March 4, 2009

A Very Special Episode of Harry Lupus Written by Local Poet, Cl.thier! / Plus, The Boys Consider New Technology: Twitter!

Cl.thier is well-known locally for his bawdy love poems and sensitive acoustic renditions of hip-hop classics like Blackstreet's "No Diggity" at the Yacht Club. But we've often wondered what his genre fiction is like? Today he offers our few remaining readers of Harry Lupus a powerful scene involving both a werewolf-cheerleader orgy and gang brawl. Readers, prepare for boners!

"As it were, Harry couldn't get the smell of Muffy out of his nostrils. Everywhere he went, he smelled her potent female musk, so when he caught the peal of her high-pitched howl outside of his window, Harry could not resist his canine urges. He leapt from his window and instinctually began an erotic and elaborate chase with Muffy, which eventually ended up outside a large clearing the locals called, "Goodman's Meadow." "What are we doing here," Harry growled into Muffy's ear, his long nails clawing at her skin. "Come and find out," she said back, running her own nails down Harry's spine, then shoving him off roughly into the brush before bounding into the clearing. When Harry followed, he was shocked at what he saw: Young teen werewolves littered the clearing, all engaged in raw, passionate weresex. Groups of werewolves clawed and screwed in tangled heaps of fur, teeth, and claws, making it difficult for Harry to tell whether the werewolves were screwing or fighting or both. Off to one side Harry recognized the torn shreds of his high school's cheerleading uniforms in a pile next to a group of four to five female werewolves, all engaged in a manic sexual frenzy. Harry had heard stories about the cheerleaders, but had never believed them. Harry was held motionless, until he was bowled over by Muffy, her long fangs biting at his neck. "Harry," Muffy said between impassioned bites into Harry's flesh, "I want you to -". Just then, a voice, low and menacing, filled the clearing. "Well, if isn't the pussycats of West Side High, humping each other's legs! Do you mind if we join you?" The East Side Lycanthropes leader let out a long, deep howl and the meadow was suddenly filled with East Side werewolves attacking the besotted West Siders. Fur was torn from flesh, bone exposed, limbs mangled. What was once a sight of debauchery was now one of blood and gore. "Run, Harry!" Muffy screamed as both scrambled to their feet. But before Harry could make it to the treeline, he felt a massive blow to his head, and the world went dark."


The boys love Facebook ("lol, I poked you!") and the internet in general (sweet, free porn!). But how do they feel about Twitter, the new form of instant communication so popular that many of our elected leaders chose to use it while attending Obama's recent primetime speech?

Chip: "I use Twitter so I can keep people posted on what I had for breakfast, usually oats, and where I drink my evening beers, usually Quinton's. My Twitterings from Q's are especially fascinating. Here's an example: 'New waitress tonight. Hot titties. Decent ass. B+'"

Richard: "Harry Lupus actually now has a Twitter site of his own featuring a completetely alternate version of his antics constructed by Richard, Dr. X, and possibly Cl.thier. Check it out here:

But I primarily love Twitter because celebrites use it, and it's important to me to know how MC Hammer spends his time. Here's an example from his page: Bowling with my dancers !!! They was raw tonite!! Off the Chain!


Matthew and Emily Clothier said...

I'm dying to know what happens to Harry after the world went dark. How long must I stay tuned?

clothier said...

A week, devoted (and sexy) reader!

The Ocassional Dr X said...

that was beautiful.

I don't know how, but that needs to get transposed into the Twitter! That's effing poetry!

--Sweet, Sweet Poetry.

don't turn that dial! said...

Yes, what a cliffhanger!

(Lupus' Twitter page is less far it's just 28 posts about Harry trying to "paw one out" it turns out, it's not easy to masturbate when one is a were-boy.

young goodman brown said...

Somewhere, Hawthorne is surely smiling down upon this particular installment of Lupus (and wondering at how much sexier it is than Scarlet Letter).

cl.thier said...

I had to give a nod to one of my favorite short stories! Goodbye, Faith!