Monday, April 13, 2009

How the Boys Spent Their Easter Vacations!

Readers, it's been awhile since last we met, so let's catch up on local news.

Richard traveled to Arkansas, where he met up with the mysterious Dr. X to eat a famous "onion loaf" and mingled with a new wave of Southern academics, many of whom carry around cans of Old Milwaukee in their pockets.

Chip, in Forttt Scottt, ate a lot of ham while wearing his own version of the classic "Easter bonnet": his best hooded sweatshirt.

Was Easter celebrated at all in Larryville, which is "essentially a pagan village?" (Chip, 2002). In fact, it was. One local congregation held a "Beatles Easter service," with the young assistant pastor explaining the mysterious link between the Fab Four and Jesus as follows: they are both "awesome."

In other news, last week, the half dozen or so people who voted in city elections chose to re-elect downtown barber Mike Amyx as City Commissioner.

Chip: "First he'll cut our hair, then he'll solve our problems."

Richard: "There's a wonderfully small-town feel to having a barber as a local politician, but at the same time I think Larryville could benefit from someone a bit...quirkier. Like maybe that guy Dennis who visits local bars pushing a doll in a stroller, often while dressed in a Spiderman costume. I'll bet that guy would have some interesting ideas about how to run a city."

On Saturday, the all-female Led Zeppelin tribute band known as Lez Zeppelin payed a visit to the Bottleneck.

Chip: "Are they lesbians, as the name implies? And are there other all-lesbian tribute bands out there, such as maybe Los Lesbos, a lesbian tribute to Los Lobos?"

Also on Saturday, the KU football team, Larryville's third most popular sports team behind men's and women's basketball, made their debut at the annual Spring Game. Several prominent players were mysteriously missing-in-action due to unspecified "behavior" issues. Readers, we suspect it was knife-fights.

And the city has begun plans for the coming weekend's Earth Day celebration. It sounds especially exciting this year: "Ashman [parade coordinator] will dress as a wind turbine for the parade while fellow KU environs member Nick Benson wears a dirty coal costume" (LJ-World).

What will the boys be dressed as? Readers, you'll have to attend the parade to find out.

3 comments:

sapphic love! said...

Lesbian-themed tribute bands! What a great topic...

My entry:

Cuntry Jill and Fish!

sapphic love! said...

That should be

Cuntry Jill and the Fish

CCR said...

Creedence Cunnilingus Revival.