Kansas City, on the other hand, realized that all one really needs to have fun on the Fourth is a roomful of shit-faced women in red, white, and blue socks, dancing on a bar. Here are a few shots from InkKC's slideshow of the Fourth of July festivities at KC's Fuel American Made Bar and Grill.
Richard: "I sometimes wonder why we bother hanging around in Larryville at all when there are women in KC who actually like to fuck."
Chip: "I agree, on the whole, although I think you might have witnessed a similar site at Larryville's Cadillac Ranch on the 4th. But what interests me are the sophisticated women who hang out in KC's Power and Light District, women whose idea of a romantic evening is dinner at the Cheescake Factory, a few $18 dollar beers in the P&L, and then screwing in a bubble-bath while listening to Michael Buble. It's just a whole different world over there that I suspect we'll never be a part of."
Richard: "Right. I would never pay that much for a Miller Lite."
In this wildly unpopular feature, we endorse certain books that we are reading. Now that we have finished Justin Cronin's apocalyptic vampire saga The Passage (soon to be a shitty Ridley Scott film at a theater near you) and laughed our asses off at Sam Lipsyte's The Ask (if we could write like Lipsyte, we'd quit this blog immediately), we have turned to the current buzz-book of the summer: Adam Ross's tale of murder and marriage, Mr. Peanut. Stephen King (who offers extravagant praise on damn near every book you pick up in the bookstore) calls Ross's novel "The most riveting look at the dark side of marriage since Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf"
As we're only 100-ish pages in, we're not prepared to fully agree or disagree, but the book has, at the very least, provided us with a delightful new turn of phrase: "as obvious as a boner in pajamas" (Ross 73).
The LC welcomes new reader Anna Undercover, who offered kind words and no lawsuits in yesterday's comments section. Thanks for reading, Anna, and we'd totally have coffee with you sometime, as we have never (to our knowledge, at least) had coffee with a local stripper before. Let's meet soon to discuss social media and lapdances.
Chip: "I'll make sure not to wear my pajamas."