Kansas City, on the other hand, realized that all one really needs to have fun on the Fourth is a roomful of shit-faced women in red, white, and blue socks, dancing on a bar. Here are a few shots from InkKC's slideshow of the Fourth of July festivities at KC's Fuel American Made Bar and Grill.
Richard: "I sometimes wonder why we bother hanging around in Larryville at all when there are women in KC who actually like to fuck."
Chip: "I agree, on the whole, although I think you might have witnessed a similar site at Larryville's Cadillac Ranch on the 4th. But what interests me are the sophisticated women who hang out in KC's Power and Light District, women whose idea of a romantic evening is dinner at the Cheescake Factory, a few $18 dollar beers in the P&L, and then screwing in a bubble-bath while listening to Michael Buble. It's just a whole different world over there that I suspect we'll never be a part of."
Richard: "Right. I would never pay that much for a Miller Lite."
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In this wildly unpopular feature, we endorse certain books that we are reading. Now that we have finished Justin Cronin's apocalyptic vampire saga The Passage (soon to be a shitty Ridley Scott film at a theater near you) and laughed our asses off at Sam Lipsyte's The Ask (if we could write like Lipsyte, we'd quit this blog immediately), we have turned to the current buzz-book of the summer: Adam Ross's tale of murder and marriage, Mr. Peanut. Stephen King (who offers extravagant praise on damn near every book you pick up in the bookstore) calls Ross's novel "The most riveting look at the dark side of marriage since Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf"
As we're only 100-ish pages in, we're not prepared to fully agree or disagree, but the book has, at the very least, provided us with a delightful new turn of phrase: "as obvious as a boner in pajamas" (Ross 73).
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The LC welcomes new reader Anna Undercover, who offered kind words and no lawsuits in yesterday's comments section. Thanks for reading, Anna, and we'd totally have coffee with you sometime, as we have never (to our knowledge, at least) had coffee with a local stripper before. Let's meet soon to discuss social media and lapdances.
Chip: "I'll make sure not to wear my pajamas."
11 comments:
It would greatly enhance Anna's undercover stripper cred to be able to state that she "did coffee" with an actual 40ish year old virgin, yes indeed.
I can dish it out, but I sure can't take it. I've had sex twice.
The blog has clearly taken some kind of turn, which I wasn't expecting in these lazy days of summer. I'm not sure what yet to think of it all...
However, I want to put in my full support for both book reviews and songs about ducks. It's just this kind of stuff that keeps me coming back!
And I know that you have more "important" invites these days...but how about some Charlie tonight? He NEEDS our business, and truth be told, we may need him too.
Someone likes the book reviews? Nice!
Yes, we should be able to visit Charlie's tonight. I want to ask him if he's on Twitter!
But I come for the pussy!
--And shut the fuck up you dirty douche bag hipster shits! Damn, how I hate thee! (More than Kip... that wretched pile of fatty goo!)
But I stay for the book reviews and the pussy.
Speaking of Books....I bet every boy and girl in Larry is reading Brett Easton Ellis's "Imperial Bedrooms." I expect a review asap. PS Most Strippers are dull....really dull...that's why they're strippers. Regardless of Social Media....only my Umbros care about the local "Stwipper?!"....booooring. nexxxt.
Yes, but first we are rereading BEE's masterpiece just to make sure we don't miss anything in the new one.
Notes:
-Virgins are people, too.
-715 is awesome.
-Good strippers have the conversational deftness/dexterity to draw out the hyperactive 14-year-old girl in Dick Clark. Lacking additional documentation/records that might better inform a mental image of the commenter self-identified as "take a turn up your ass"--apparently claiming to represent "asteroidhead.com"--one is forced to conclude that interacting with this party might (might!) drive the person to self-immolate.
-Re: Bird Dog: A++, will do business again. Had a hell of a time there in late April 2010. Enjoyed a healthy number of rounds with some LJ-W staffers and keynote speakers from Free State Social '10.
Actually, we had a beer with Asteroid Head and found them quite pleasant, but we don't share their views of local strippers, whom we find always fascinating!
We haven't met the LJ-World staff, but we'd certainly like to meet some of the LJ-World talkbackers, maybe especially Barry "Darwin bless us all" Penders.
:) I say this with all the affection in the world:
We could probably replace the lovable Barry Penders with a very small shell script.
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