Monday, April 6, 2009

Your Guide to the LC in the Springtime!

Despite the fact that it still snows in Larryville every third day, the boys are beginning to turn their attention to springtime concerns, and today we provide you with a glimpse of what you can expect from the LC in coming months. What are the boys most anticipating from the season?

Well, there's baseball, of course, and it's always fascinating to see just how much the Royals can suck. They're off to a good start today, as they have postponed their Opening Day because of a slight chance of flurries (Chip: "Pussies!").

And then there's Earth Day. Larryville's celebration is on April 18, a day in which local hippies smoke their best homegrown and take a brief break from the Free State patio to go down to South Park and talk about electric cars ("It's powered by my own sense of self-satisfaction"--Ed Begley Jr.).

Cinco de Mayo has become a new favorite springtime event for the boys as well, following their memorable outing to the Sandbar last year. A surprising number of sorostitutes apparently celebrate this particular holiday, mainly because they love margaritas. A new company called Star Industries has also announced their plans to launch a new "kosher tequila" called Agave 99 prior to Cinco de Mayo, so the boys are also looking forward to getting fucked-up with their Jewish friends this year.

But in the meantime, readers, I suppose we should concentrate on tonight's major event: the NCAA men's championship between Michigan State, a team which defeated KU in the Sweet Sixteen, and North Carolina, a team which is coached by a villainous traitor. Who are the boys for?

Chip: "I hope they both lose."


sports bra lover! said...

Remember boys, spring in Lawrence officially begins when the mercury tips over 60 for the first time and some young lovely coed thinks, "I should totally go running short shorts and a sports bra!" The beauty of spring is awaiting that glorious day, regardless of whether it comes in May or February!

chip said...

And on that glorious day I spring a boner that lasts till winter comes round again.

cl.thier said...

On that day, I like to call all of my friends who work in beige-colored cubicles and laugh at them. They do likewise on the second and fourth Fridays of every month. I think it's a fair trade-off.

Dr. Candelaria said...

Yeah, you don't have to rub it in. I think about springtime in L-ville on a regular basis.

I don't miss the sports bras so much as, well, everything else . . .

seo monster said...

The top keywords for The Larryville Chronicles:


don't forget said...

Also: boner!

nubile hipster! said...

How "nubile" did not make the list is beyond me!

(Or "hipster"!)

another important term said...


a new column! said...

Reading the list above spurred a great new column idea:

"Chip considers new local women!"

--you'll meet the hottest women here first, readers!