Well, there's baseball, of course, and it's always fascinating to see just how much the Royals can suck. They're off to a good start today, as they have postponed their Opening Day because of a slight chance of flurries (Chip: "Pussies!").
And then there's Earth Day. Larryville's celebration is on April 18, a day in which local hippies smoke their best homegrown and take a brief break from the Free State patio to go down to South Park and talk about electric cars ("It's powered by my own sense of self-satisfaction"--Ed Begley Jr.).
Cinco de Mayo has become a new favorite springtime event for the boys as well, following their memorable outing to the Sandbar last year. A surprising number of sorostitutes apparently celebrate this particular holiday, mainly because they love margaritas. A new company called Star Industries has also announced their plans to launch a new "kosher tequila" called Agave 99 prior to Cinco de Mayo, so the boys are also looking forward to getting fucked-up with their Jewish friends this year.
But in the meantime, readers, I suppose we should concentrate on tonight's major event: the NCAA men's championship between Michigan State, a team which defeated KU in the Sweet Sixteen, and North Carolina, a team which is coached by a villainous traitor. Who are the boys for?
Chip: "I hope they both lose."