Monday, April 20, 2009

More Earth Day Coverage! / Plus, This Week in Campus News: "I Heart Female Orgasm" Lecture

Wake and bake, readers, it's 4/20, and that means it's time to get stoned! The boys are planning to hit the bong and watch a full marathon of BBC's Planet Earth!

In fact, the Planet Earth series is the subject of a fascinating piece in yesterday's NY-Times, which explores how the series has not only become a must-own status symbol for anyone vaguely "green" but is also lending itself to other pursuits. Sure, plenty of people like to toke up and watch elephants fuck, but it's also become a hot commodity in bars, where "Playlist Earth" events match the animal footage with various songs (apparently marching penguins go well with hipster-artist Jens Lekman's "Your Beat Kicks Back Like Death"). A young college coed interviewed in the article explains how she loves to "make out" with Planet Earth in the background: "it's so natural." (Chip: "Oh, this makes me want to bang a sorostitute while watching a tiger stalk its prey!"). Others in the piece speak of "Planet Earth" parties in which groups of friends turn down the sound and booze it up while concocting hilarious dialogue for the animals (Richard: "I'm going to get trashed on PBR and pretend that the monkeys are hipsters discussing their favorite bands.").

However you use your copy of Planet Earth, readers, make sure to watch some of it this Earth Day!


It's Pride Week on campus and the boys have spent most of the day happily watching lesbians participate in a "Kiss-off." (Chip: "Where are you, sorostitutes? I thought college was a time to 'experiment?'"). But other events are of interest as well, including tonight's program called "I Heart Female Orgasm," which was originally scheduled during National Women's History Month but is happening now instead, although it's unclear if the gay men of Pride Week will care. One of the program's speakers explains: "It feels like people are starving for honest, down-to-earth information...Not the impossible acrobatic sex positions you see in magazines."

Chip: "Wrong. I'm starving for acrobat sex."

The program's advertisements wittily play on the lecture's subject: "Come alone or come with a friend." (Chip: "I don't get it.").

See you at the lecture.


impartial observer said...

Where could a part-time teacher find said "kiss-off"?!

I've always hearted female orgasm said...

You've got to have follow-up coverage tomorrow! I've got to know what they consider "down-to-earth" information on this subject! What will they say about feminine ejaculation? C v vag orgasms? Do tell!

Or not . . . if you're too busy. I'd probably not make the lecture myself, but I'd really want to.

aroused audience member said...

Can I attend without my pants on!

(yeah, I may not actually make the lecture, but hopefully the UDK will provide coverage!).

kiss-in said...

So it's a "kiss in" and not a "kiss off," but I believe you missed it:

"This event takes place in-between class periods, which are 10 minutes each, and possibly for an extended time during the noon-1pm lunch hour. You are welcome to participate if you have a significant other or willing friends. There will be "gay" and "straight" couples alike."

--and I didn't know straight people were allowed! this would have been a perfect start to a "nooner" with a sorostitute!

dw.ght schr.te said...

I think "down to earth" means various roots and tubers as phallic devices used for the purposes of female orgasm. What else could it mean?