Hanging with the Hep Cats at Herbie Hancock / Mass. Street Marriage Proposal / And a "Delicious" Halloween Photo

Readers, we don't "get" jazz, but we weren't about to let the elderly West Side rich folks and a few young hep cats spend an evening watching Herbie Hancock without us. So we trekked out to the Lied Center last night for his solo show. Yep. Just Herbie at his piano...and also manning a wide array of equipment to produce a multitude of sounds supplementing his keys. Did it work? Mostly. At first we were afraid that the evening was going to be akin to Beethoven choosing Transmittens as a backing band, and at times the dissonance between beautiful live piano and computerized accompaniment WAS a little jarring. But by the third piece of the evening, things were clicking, and the audience was ready to get funky with "Cantaloupe Island," which culminated in Herbie bringing out the keytar! Earlier in the evening, after opening with a lengthy (and unaccompanied by sampling) reading of Wayne Shorter's "Footprints," the maestro explained that he likes to get "in the zone" when performing and that thirty minutes might well pass without him noticing. He encouraged the audience to make throat-slitting gestures if he went on too long. Sure, Chip made a few of those gestures during 'Dolphin Dance.' ("Those dolphins danced for a hell of a long time."), but for the rest of us the evening with Herbie was all too short, and the keytar encore left us wanting more, as the best shows should.

Final verdict: a nice (expensive) evening with a national treasure.

Head over to the Pitch for a review from @nuthousepunks with some cool photos from the foot of the stage.

---

Did any of you witness the Mass. Street marriage proposal sign on Saturday?















We missed it, but luckily the UDK offered up this photo. The only way this could possibly be more romantic is if it had occurred in front of the Replay.

---
Well, it's Halloween, which means you're probably on Day 5 (at least) of drunken, costumed revelry. And it can't be Halloween without some Hall and Oates covers from Haulin' Oats, so hauling ass to the Replay tonight goes without saying. In the meantime, enjoy this Ink KC cover photo of Miss Kansas USA lounging in a field of candy corn with some candy corns on her belly. Chip has pronounced this photo the "most delicious" of the week.

Spooky Sunday Scenester Selections / Special Guest Columnist Best-Kept-Secretary Reviews The Slasher Kings In KC

Readers, you might be tempted to take a break from your five nights of Halloween debauchery today and rest up for tomorrow's big night, but don't be a pussy. There are several activities worthy of your attention today.

First up, the Lawrence Art Walk. This is Chip's pick for the scariest Halloween event of the weekend.

Chip: "What could be more frightening than actually going into an artist's home and hearing them talk about their work in a one-on-one setting? People shell out big bucks for those KC spookhouses and none of them provide half the fright of sitting in a local artist's studio and listening to them tell you about their pottery."

And tonight brings Hammerlord's Misfit tribute, Fiend Club, to the Replay.

And the Granada offers at least the third local screening of Rocky Horror Picture Show within the last few weeks. We wandered by the line outside Liberty Hall last weekend and saw surprisingly few fishnetted dudes, so make sure to dress the part. We haven't seen Rocky Horror with an audience in too many years, but our personal favorite participatory moment has always been the first appearance of the narrator, when everyone shouts, "The man you are about to see has no fucking neck. WHERE is your fucking neck?" It makes us laugh every single time.


















---

While we were all getting drunk in Larryville this weekend, our guest correspondent, Best Kept Secretary, was in KC at Union Station listening to The Slasher Kings play 70's-style rock while dressed as famous slasher movie villains! Luckily, the show runs through Nov. 6, so you've still got time to seek it out. Here's her review:


I'm not a slasher-movie fan--horror movies in general aren't my thing--but I do my best to support local musician friends. When a a guy I know mentioned he was in this show, I swung by their website and checked out one of their videos. Hooked . The music style leans more toward hard 70s rock with some fantastic harmonica riffs thrown in, and some super cheesy lyrics. Everyone’s in on the joke here, and the band offers up their homage to slasher films with tongues firmly in cheek. Might be someone else’s tongue, but hey.

You don't need to know the movies or the characters to enjoy the show, although it's a rare person who won't get the references to at least one or two of the personalities portrayed (Mike Myers, Jason Voorhees, Hannibal Lecter, and Buffalo Bill). The show starts with a short film. It’s a nice set-up for the live performance, with a closing shot that perfectly references the rock-star-walking-down-the-arena-hallway that appears in all rock documentary movies.

I know we’re not supposed to admit to really liking anything here, but the musical performance part of the show is basically 100% awesome. I'm not a fan of stage patter (just play the fucking music, guys), but the men playing Lecter and Bill were in character and entertaining--even when they needed to fill some unexpected dead air to resolve a couple technical difficulties.

I went to the show mostly to support Curtis Smith, on bass as Mike Myers. Smith’s part is by far the most disturbing of the four, and the fact that the bass guitar is the most subtle instrument in this band highlights the creep factor. He (nearly literally) sneaks up on you. I don't want to ruin too much of the experience, so I'll just say that Smith is the only character who doesn't remove his mask the entire show and that does a lot to encourage the sense of discomfort between him and the audience.

Matt Rapport, who plays Buffalo Bill, is an incredibly good performer. His characterization was excellent, his harmonica skills are ace, and damn if he doesn't give a wrenchingly emotive performance in the one part of the show that borders on seriousness (as well as earns it a mild R rating, btw).

Jason (on drums and, for one song, on tenor sax) is played by John Lenati. Blocked by a drum set and a hockey mask for 90% of the show, Lenati doesn't have the opportunity to exude the level of menace as the other guys, but he's a fine drummer, and shines on the song where he plays the saxophone. That song was the highlight of the show for me--a surprisingly heartbreaking piece performed sans drums or harmonica while Rapport gave a discomforting and silent performance downstage.

On guitar and main vocals, performing as Hannibal Lecter, is Ron Simonian. He also co-wrote and produced the show and wrote all the songs for the live part of show. This guy. Wow, this guy. He's got a good voice with a lot of character, and can sing several different styles (the songs are mostly hard rock, with some country, ballad, and punk influences thrown in the mix). He's not a stranger to the music scene in KC, and I'll be checking out more of the events/acts with which he's involved. Super talented (and really nice) guy.

My one quibble has nothing to do with the show, but rather with the venue. They didn’t have the downstairs bar open as they have for other events I’ve attended at City Theater. Bring a flask.

More show details, as well as a code for $5 off phone ticket orders can be found on the KC Horror Club website.
KC Star article highlighting frontman Ron Simonian here.
And of course, they're on Facebook.

Saturday Scenester Picks: Spook Lights, Dry Bonnet, Long Shadows / Art and Fashion Photo Blog

Based on your tweets this morning, you all got 100% hammered last night. But we assume you'll sober up enough by tonight to re-don those costumes and head back to the Replay for Spook Lights, Dry Bonnet, and Long Shadows. But who is Long Shadows? It's the #new #band with @AdAstraJaspera, so it's #probably going to be #awesome (yeah, those hashtags are a Twitter inside joke).

---

There were numerous sights to behold on Mass. Street last night and here are a few of them.

We traversed a long, narrow, and strangely frightening "blanket fort" at Wonder Fair and finally rounded a corner to encounter...this guy. He served up a potent apple cider.















Along 8th Street we ran smack into the March 4 Marching Band, drumming up business for their Liberty Hall show with an old-fashioned promenade of funk. They were pretty terrific.
















Then we saw a robot!


















At the Replay's Fashion Monsters Fashion Show, the models were dead-sexy (Chip: "Get it? Because they were zombies and Frankensteins and shit!").






























We learned that showing a lot of ass is very fashionable this year,


















And then it was time for scenesters to join the models for a dance party.

Friday Scenester Guide: Art, Fashion, Rock and Roll

Readers, it's Halloween weekend, and there's a lot going on, but you'll be too drunk most of the time to even know which show you're at, so we're not going to bother trying to cover it all.

Look for us at Final Fridays (mostly in Wonder Fair's "blanket fort") and at Fashion Monsters 5 at the Replay (more fucking zombies?). But if we were truly hip we'd probably go to the Jackpot and see Bleached. Look at this LA Times blurb:

"If you swept up all the vegan muffin crumbs and other detritus from the Smell's floor, combined it with some sawdust from a dirtbag country bar where Merle Haggard once drunkenly two-stepped, and then threw in some tangy candy bits only found at a little corner store around the way from where Joey Ramone's grandmother lived, you'd have something like Bleached."

Openers include your weekly dose of Mouthbreathers and an appearance by "consumate synthesizer artists" CVLTS (yes, the interweb site we consulted spelled "consummate" incorrectly).

We like their album cover, which has some boobies on it (and click here for an important list, with photos, of more than 30 album covers that contain "visible nipples").

More Final Friday Coverage: Hospital Ships at Dusty Bookshelf / Missed Connection of the Week / And A Dog with Candy-Corn Colored Toenails

Final Fridays aren't all about art. There's music too, and tomorrow's events include a special acoustic performance from Hospital Ships at the Dusty Bookshelf. Get there early to choose the perfect dusty tome to peruse during the show in order to look like you're too hip to actually be there for the band but rather just happened to be hanging out reading something postmodern. We recommend William Giraldi's Busy Monsters, a very meta tale of true love and giant squids. It sounds like this:

"Facts about the giant squid make my lover damp--I encouraged her pre-bed reading--and we indulged in each other's bodies for nearly an hour. Twice I thought I would hyperventilate or else have cardiac arrest."

and this:

"...he's an atheist through and through. I hear he has a sculpture of Percy Shelley and Bertrand Russell doing a French kiss and ball-sack grab."















---

It's time for another Missed Connection from Larryville's Craigslist. We love how this one transitions so abruptly from the barely-literate to the downright poetic:

"U were wearing sexy tights. Damn u were hot, and the way u talked was so smart and dope. U said it was ur birthday. At some point, u changed into an old t-shirt. We traded delicious vegan food, had lude and ridiculous conversations. watched part of a crappy movie. I wanted to get with u so bad. My pillow smells like u. U made me feel alive. Big, burdensome things felt like air."

Chip: "The phrase 'delicious vegan food' makes me skeptical that any of this ever happened."

---

And thanks to the LJ-World for making our day with this photo of a dog with "candy-corn colored toenails" taken recently at Dogtoberfest.

Horror Remix Recap: Zombie Edition / A Special Guest Report on Scenester Violence

We stopped by the Bottleneck last night for the "zombie" edition of Horror Remix (even though we're bored with zombies) and caught the evening's first film, 1987's The Video Dead. Readers, we're pleased to report that this is a lost-masterpiece along the lines of Cronenberg's Videodrome or DeLillo's novel White Noise in the way it equates death and technology. Nah. We're just fucking with you. It's a gloriously stupid film about zombies that come out of a TV set and kill a chihuhauha named Chocolate and then get slaughtered with bows and arrows and chainsaws and at one point a zombie woman uses a chainsaw herself. Yeah. It's pretty terrific. Especially with $2 Free State draws (we tried the new Winter Ale) and cheap kettle corn and hot dogs. There were even a couple of folks dressed as zombies amongst the crowd, which is pretty hardcore just to sit around in the dark and watch zombie movies.

---

Aside from the on-screen carnage, things were peaceful at the Bottleneck, but apparently that wasn't the case a few blocks away, where the Jackpot's karaoke night turned violent. Yes, you read that right. We're pleased to bring you this special report on "scenester violence" from guest correspondent Peter. Follow him at @plyrene on Twitter.

"A large fight broke out in front of the Jackpot around midnight on Tuesday 10/25. This occurred during the venue's weekly Karaoke night, and I wish I could remember what song was being sung inside. (Top songs to fight to? Iggy and the Stooges?).

The crowd that night was mostly service-industry scenesters from Tellers and 715. The fight broke out when an inebriated passerby (who had apparently just been thrown out of the Red Lyon) slurred some insulting words at this group (including some of the tuffies from Tommy Ferrari and the Future Motor Machines). A drink was promptly thrown at his face, and a beatdown [followed].

Sean Hunt (aka Approach) was working door and quickly jumped in the fracas to restore order. While trying to separate and protect the guy getting beat up, the offender BIT him in the leg. Though Sean was luckily wearing thick jeans, the bite still broke the skin pretty bad. Zombie jokes and fears of hepatitis ensued.

I waited until things cleared up to ask the guys what prompted the confrontation. When I got my answer, I was shocked at their violent response and surprised nobody found it ironic--the offending party, who had dreadlocks and was wearing a dirty Hawaiian shirt-- had called them "fucking hippies."

The cops showed up about 20 minutes too late, and just took a few statements before leaving. There was a weirdly celebratory atmosphere in the bar afterwards. I wondered how many people were thinking about S.E. Hinton's The Outsiders.

This comes just weeks after an incident where a former KJHK DJ, Ian, called for a scene-wide boycott of the Granada across Facebook after feeling harassed by a member of the crowd at the Odd Future Show and the venue's security answering his request for assistance with a dismissive "quit being such a pussy." (Then again, what did he expect at the concert for a shock rap group with Kill Them All in their name? Nothing but cardigan-clad Pitchfork readers?).

In parting, if there's anything we can learn [from these incidents], it's that no matter how rough things get in a packed crowd, or what derogatory names you get called, it's not worth resorting to violence. Just stand your ground, go home, and write a fast and loud song about the experience for your band's next 9-minute EP."

Occupy Larryville Gets Assaulted By Hobos / Scenester Picks of the Day: AIDS Wolf, Henry and Hazel Slaughter, and Folkicide

The Occupy Lawrence protesters may not be afraid of police brutality, but after (alleged) physical and sexual assaults by local hobos (who were apparently invited into the tents) they have become so frightened that they are apparently giving up their tents and sleeping on the ground, presumably because it's pretty easy to outrun a staggery hobo in the open air.

Group members are also considering various options to deal with these problems, such as "distribution of a flier titled “Creating a safe space,” which asks participants to 'refrain from engaging in activities that are not conducive to creating and maintaining a safe space'" (LJ-World). Let's assume that "inviting hobos into your tents" will be included among the unsafe activities.

Chip: "Another option for the protesters would be to go home at night and sleep in a cozy bed."

The LJ-World talkback, as you might expect, is solid gold.

FalseHopeNoChange says: "These radical malcontents are the best of the best in Larryville. They are examples of the finest government education the Liberal Spring can provide. The cream has risen to the top. Who says the future of this country they call United is gloomy. Oh. And they can also multitask by reporting crimes while breaking the law."

Larrynative says: "If a person was raped at a local bar, you would all be screaming to close the bar and blame the owner. Occupy Lawrence provides a rape tent and their supporters don't want to blame Occupy Lawrence."

We suspect "Rape Tent" will become a future band name or song title for a local metal band. Are you listening, Troglodyte? This could be a great follow-up to "Skunk Ape Rape."

---

Speaking of potentially offensive band names, Canada's AIDS Wolf hits the Replay tonight. They've been slammed (3.9) and modestly praised (6.9) in Pitchfork over the years. Here's Pitchfork pointing out their "buzzworthy" aspects of their debut The Lovvers (yes, it has two 'v's):

"There's the Montreal mailing address, the cluelessly offensive name, the awkward hairy-fairy nude photos, and the fact that Wolf Parade's Arlen Thompson helped record the eight tracks that make up the official debut (though they spelled his last name wrong in the liner notes)."

A little research after that "hairy-fairy nude photo" reference revealed that, indeed, the band is prone to naked publicity photos. Avert your eyes quickly!
















Also on tonight's bizarre triple bill is Henry and Hazel Slaughter. We're pretty sure it's not this gospel act:
















And we're pretty sure it's this guy:


















Opening the evening is KC's Folkicide, who recently got some attention in the Pitch and here on our blog and sounds absolutely bonkers.

Someone please go and report back to us.

National Food Day / Wonder Fair Gets Adorable For Final Fridays / Courtneybelle and Hammerlord

Well, it's National Food Day, and if you're a local progressive we assume you'll head to The Raven tonight for "a reading from a new booklet of interviews with small-scale, sustainable women farmers." The booklet is called "Girls Got Guts," and the event will offer local food samples such as fresh sheep cheese from Green Dirt Farm, garlic conserve from Maggie's Farm, and Hippie Chow brand granola, which we hear is the official granola of the Occupy Lawrence movement. Be there at 7:00.

---

The next edition of Final Friday is just around the bend and Wonder Fair is offering something so adorable that our heads are already spinning with twee little dreams. It's called "Hibernation," an installation which will transform the space into "a cozy cabin, complete with custom-designed screen-printed armchairs, hand-printed brick fireplace, snuggly screen-printed firewood, and a charming menagerie of winter-ready stuffed animals... visitors are invited to crawl through an extensive blanket fort to reach the Wonder Bar, a pop-up cantina stocked with hot mixed drinks, cocoa, and gingerbread" (from FB event page).

They had us at stuffed animals and blew our minds at "blanket fort." We may just remain there all month (so long as the Wonder Bar is also well-stocked with PBR...we like to dip our gingerbread in it).

---

Courtneybelle braved the metal mayhem at the Replay on Friday to rock with Hammerlord and Troglodyte. Here's what she witnessed, with a few "Chipnotes" in bold:

"Those of us hanging out at Replay on Friday night to see @BillyGayCyrus give the unwashed masses on the patio boogie fever, were maybe hesitant to know what madness would soon break forth in the front room. Especially after “the man” came to shake you down for the cover. But don’t, like Richard, be afraid. Hammerlord and Troglodyte are amazing and athletic musicians. Both bands have very devoted followers. I can’t tell you the difference between Death Metal and Thrash Metal, but I know an audience in love when I see it. [Chip: "Death metal is the one where they sacrifice a goat onstage."] You might recognize Hammerlord’s lead vocalist Stevie Cruz (a.k.a DJ Cruz) from the Replay patio and sundry other projects. And you’ll definitely recognize Troglodyte since they perform in full cinema-grade facemasks. That is quite a feat, if you consider the amount of energy these guys put out under the hellish heat of stage lights. And if you really want a show, check them next year at the annual “Hammerween”. [Chip: "This is one of my many nicknames for my boner."] You missed it Saturday, but I promise you the BEST people watching and costumes in Kansas City (and of course many hardcore metal thrashings). If metal isn’t your bag, take a chance this Sunday the 30th when Fiend Club, Hammerlord’s Misfits tribute band will be at Replay."

Here's what we missed (click to enlarge and realize that, holy shit, it's a severed woman!):




















And here's what is on the way this Friday in KC and Sunday in Larryville:

Occupy Larryville Update / Nine Minute EP of the Week: Trash Talk

It's a slow day in Larryville and there's not much to do except Occupy Lawrence, which is still going strong in South Park, though Johnny Law finally saw fit to roll through about 1:30 am one evening (out of the public eye) and issue a few citations to the protesters, who are expected to appear in court in mid-November.

Chip: "I'm not sure I'd trust them to take a break in their Occupation to show up in court."

According to the Occupy Lawrence Facebook page, the group's biggest concern is not any sort of police brutality, but rather attacks from the good citizens of Larryville: "We had no interaction at the camp with police [on Saturday]. We did have multiple members physically assaulted by Lawrence residents - We have video and have filed complaints with the police department for these events."

Our best guess is that these attacks were from "bros" on their way home from Brother's. Or perhaps from K-State fans too drunk to make it back home to Manhattan after the game yesterday. But does anyone have actual details? And did anyone attend the Occupy Lawrence "pumpkin carving" that was scheduled for Saturday at 3:00. We'd fucking love it if someone could send us a picture of a pumpkin with protest messages carved into it!

Photo from LJ-World:

















---

Local scenesters love the ultra-short songs of Rooftop Vigilantes, but we came across a Pitchfork rave this week for a band called Trash Talk that might give the Vigilantes a run for the money in the brevity department. Pitchfork gives Trash Talk's new EP an 8.2:

"The group's 10-song, 17-minute 2010 third album, Eyes & Nines, was good; their new, five-song, nine-minute Awake EP is great."

What Trash Talk lacks in melody they more than make up for in furious anger:

"From the thorny inverted peace symbol on the cover, the disenfranchised lyrical sentiment (see the the smash-shit-up "Awake" video), Trash Talk continue to dig into the sort of anger that inspired the recent Occupy Wall Street protests. Though it taps into feelings that have always been there, it feels especially important and of this moment" (Pitchfork).

If Occupy Lawerence sticks around, we're giving the camp this EP as a holiday gift!

Weekend Art Post: Boner Art on Bravo's Work of Art

Readers, we were planning to write about football today, since the local media spent the week convincing us that KU had a legitimate shot at knocking off unbeaten K-State today. Mind you, we never understood the logic of this argument, but we nevertheless spent the week imagining a vicious slaughter of those purple pussies followed by the inevitable dismantling of the goalposts and parade to Potter Lake. But as we write this post K-State is up 59-14, so we're just going to offer up a quick art-related boner post today instead.

Are you watching Bravo's Work of Art? If not, you should be. One artist insists on referring to himself as "the Sucklord." And another spent this week's episode constructing a stick model of a pervert with a boner with a playground photo as a backdrop. Here's a recap from the AV-Club review that we believe will fully convince you to watch the show from here on out:

"Michelle’s work is a wooden, geometric stick-figure contraption that’s wired up in front of a picture of a little New York park. The lines of the figure echo the lines of the plants in the bucolic park scene, which creates some clever thematic tension, as the stick-figure guy is a lecher who gets an erection when someone pulls his string. At least, we can gather that he gets an erection. Judging by the clumsy, panicked cuts that take place every time someone pulls the string on Michelle’s piece, Bravo’s standards-and-practices department does not allow the depiction of boners in motion, not even artistic ones. (Note that Sara’s moving clay vulva is A-OK, though, because it is still stationary relative to the crotch of the figure, and therefore not capable of breaking loose and destroying civilized society.) During the critique of this work, China takes pains to remind everyone how comfortable she is in the company of an erect penis."

Future band name: Boners in Motion.

We can't seem to find a picture of the work to snag, but you can look at it here

And here's our pick for America's next great artist: the Sucklord!



















Check in this week for coverage of Larryville's Halloween edition of the Final Fridays art walk. We suspect there will be a zombie exhibition or four to peruse.

Weekend Picks for Gorehounds, Metalheads, Lovecraft Enthusiasts, and People Who Like Bands With Funny Names

If you're in the mood for a bit of the old ultraviolence, tonight's your night: Liberty Hall offers up a print of Fulci's Zombie. It's early-ish (10:00), so make sure to take the children! After all, you took them to the fucking Zombie Walk.

Fulci's zombie vs. shark action looks like this:





















Metalheads should head to the Replay, where Hammerlord and Troglodyte are holding an early Halloween bash. Our favorite Troglodyte song remains "Skunk Ape Rape" but let's admit that "Mummified Yeti Hand" is pretty terrific as well. And we love that this album cover is a riff on 1972's classic Legend of Boggy Creek, about the Arkansas "Fouke monster." But of course we're absolutely terrified to see one of their live shows and will exit the Replay tonight long before they take the stage.



















And our buddies at EMU are hosting their fifth annual HorrorShow at the Arts Center. This year's piece offers up seven short plays adapted from Lovecraft. When last we saw the EMU gang, they were parading naked people around the stage. We can't promise nudity this time, but you can certainly expect a crowd well-versed in the Necronomicon at these performances, since Lovecraft geeks are the absolute geekiest of horror geeks, You can catch “Horrorshow V: Last Call of C’thulhu at the Old Arkham Saloon" at 8:00 tonight and tomorrow and also on Halloween weekend (and even Halloween night).


But what if you're not quite ready to get into the gruesome Halloween spirit just yet? Consider the Saturday triple-bill at the Replay, which is perfect for those of us who love bands with silly names:

When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth
Nude Sunrise
South Bitch Diet.

If there's not at least a bit of nudity during the Nude Sunrise set, we're asking for our three bucks back.

And the best interweb description of Dinosaurs' sound that we discovered is this: "Like if Flipper moved to Texas and gangbanged Don Walsh."

Larryville's "Permanent" Occupation Gets an Eviction Notice / KU Quidditch Is #1 IN THE WORLD!

Shortly after being told they could "permanently" Occupy South Park, the protesters were informed by the City Fathers that "permanently" did not cover the hours when the park was closed, and that they needed to be out by tonight. The only thing for the protesters to do, at that point, was hold a three-hour meeting to determine who was bold enough to remain and risk "citation" (arrests are reputed to be unlikely):

"After a meeting of more than three hours — which featured protesters huddled in a circle around donated propane heaters, speechmakers standing on a stump, and a voting system that involves several types of hand signals — many members said the Occupy Lawrence movement needed to move into a new phase of civil disobedience." (LJ-World).

Chip: "When I walked by last night and heard them singing Kum Ba Yah, I wanted to show them a particular kind of hand signal, if you catch my meaning."

Best sentence of the LJ-World piece: "Several [protesters] were writing in magic marker on their forearms the telephone number of an attorney who previously had told the crowd that he would represent any protesters who were arrested."

We look forward to seeing what happens! And we continue to support Occupy Lawrence 100% (from the cozy confines of our homes, of course).

Photo from the UDK:
















---

Sure, the Big 12 continues to disintegrate, the football team just plain stinks, and even the basketball squad looks a little bumpy this year. But did you know that KU is #1 in THE WORLD in a game that's meant to be fictional. It's true, we're simply the fucking best at Quidditch, according to this UDK article .

We're not sure when or where you can see a KU Quidditch match, but you should probably hop on your broomstick and seek one out.

Go here for a terrific photo gallery from the recent KU/MU Border War:

Vegetarian Concept Album of the Week: One Pig / Adorable Event of the Day

Have you been looking for the perfect background music for an evening of sitting around with your progressive friends talking about your favorite causes? Well, we may have found it. It's called One Pig, and it's by the British electronic artist Matthew Herbert:

"It tracks a single swine’s life from its birth on a farm to its slaughter 25 weeks later, using sounds from the pig’s environment...After capturing the pig’s growth to maturity, oink by oink, he transformed those recordings into a dark kind of dance music punctuated by telling sounds: the moo of a nearby cow, frantic squealing, an idling truck. Each track on the album is named after a month in the pig’s journey, culminating in a banquet full of chomping and lip smacking."

Read the full NY-Times piece here

And stream the full album here (but we warned, scenesters, that there's also a link on that page to the new Coldplay album):

Chip: "This album makes me hungry. For pig."

We suspect that 715 Restaurant will play One Pig ironically during their next "Butchery Dinner."


















---

Readers, do you like cute babies and/or bands that like cute babies. If so, swing by Love Garden around 5:00 this evening to watch the band Rubblebucket doing a photo shoot with our Twitter-buddy Saint_Upid and his new baby. It seems that Saint_Upid wrote the band a tweet about how their song "Came Out of a Lady" was the first song he played to his baby in utero. The band was so excited they got in touch prior to their visit to Lawrence and set up a meeting. It all promises to be about the cutest damn thing you've seen since a Transmittens video.

The video for the song looks like this and the band looks like this (and check them out tonight at the Bottleneck):

Larryville Gets a Permanent "Occupation" / New Restaurant of the Week: Queen Lizzy's Fish and Chips

If you're like Chip, you enjoy lounging around South Park staring at pretty birds (he likes to describe women using British slang sometimes).

But this week your views have been obstructed by sights such as this:













Yes, a "permanent" encampment has been constructed (and approved by the City Fathers), raising such questions as (1) why couldn't they hire an "artsy" East Larryville type to design a nicer banner? and (2) will they really last longer than the first snowfall?

Let's check in with some conservative talkbackers at the LJ-World and find out how they feel about this "occupation":

equalaccessprivacy says: "Lawrence may be one place already way too occupied by scary ignorant yahoos..."

FalseHopeNoChange says: "Good news for the Occupation. The NAZI party, communist party, Barack Hussein Obama, Hugo Chavez and the Socialist party is supporting the Occupation. Along with the black anti-semites, the Occupation should last for a long while. You all are true Patriots."

and snap_pop_no_crackle says: "A SuperSoaker loaded with fox urine......".

Presumably that's his idea for chasing them away.

Chip: "Let's hear him out before making any judgments."

---

First Fuzzy's Tacos and now Queen Lizzy's Fish and Chips! Yes, Mass. Street has been gifted with two new dining destinations within the span of a week.

Queen Lizzy's apparently opened briefly today, sold out of food, was unable to get a delivery for the afternoon, and promptly closed (according to their Facebook page). But (presumably) they'll be open again tomorrow, serving up "battered bangers" and other British fare in addition to their namesake dish. Based on their Facebook Wall, plenty of Larryville diners have ideas about what the restaurant should serve, such as:

Bubble and squeak
Gravy
Haggis suppers
Mushy peas

Sounds delicious?

Go here and "like" their Facebook page and go downtown and like them in person (assuming they re-open).

Local Zombie Picks / We Consider KU Football's New Strategies

Readers, don't think that Larryville has moved on from its zombie-fixation after the Zombie Walk. The pre-Halloween weeks will bring two more prime opportunities to celebrate your love of the undead.

Tuesday Oct. 25 at the Bottleneck, the always-amusing Horror Remix offers up a night of flesheating (including a film called Flesheater).




















And for the truly hardcore, Liberty Hall (this Friday at 10:00) will present Lucio Fulci's Zombie "like you've never seen or heard it before."
















So take a break from watching AMC's Walking Dead and reading Colson Whitehead's Zone One and join the fun, because we're starting to think the zombie trend is never-ending.


---

When one looks at the scoreboard after KU football games, it's easy to speculate that some of Gill's strategies (no cursing, no tweeting, no sex after 10:00) aren't exactly paying off.

Chip: "If you're going to force the kids to lose, at least let them screw."

But we're fully behind Gill's new technique of using image boards of Big Bird and rappers and other assorted images instead of the usual hand signals. It's easily the best idea since the Snickers reward system.

Let's see if the talkbackers agree:

"Maybe Gill has finally figured out what is wrong with this team...could it be that they understand pictures better than words."

"At first I thought it was billboards advertising "throwed rolls" and "One kansas farmer feeds four NFL football teams" in an effort to entice Mangino back."

We hope that at least one image for the impending K-State game is of "EcoKat," as a signal to rip their fucking heads off (in the most environmentally-friendly manner possible, of course.).








---

Sunday Scenester Picks: Pierced Arrows vs. Chip the Ripper / Literary Pick of the Week: The Marriage Plot

There seems to be more on the docket than usual for a Sunday in Larryville.

The Jackpot follows up the Farmer's Ball (we still can't figure out who won?) with an impressive bill that looks like a mini-Garagefest. There's Pierced Arrows (former members of Dead Moon), Don't (former members of Wipers), and local heroes The Spook Lights, Baby Boomers, and Up the Academy. One's ears will likely never recover: an interweb review describes a Pierced Arrows gig as a "performance that pushed the boundaries of volume humanly possible to withstand."

We'll remain across the street at the Replay where it's nice and quiet and MAW will play us some songs about mules and The KC Bear Fighters will be up to their usual hijinks, which look like this .

And there's also Oktoberfest at the Pig tonight.

And Chip the Ripper is at the Granada.

Chip: "He's no relation to me, but I'm certainly a fan. My favorite song is 'That Spot' and these are my favorite lines of that song: Panties and bra is what I want to see you in / Then we can just minus the panties and bra / Massage your thighs and just add this cannon with balls. I think the cannon is a metaphor for his dingus."
















---

Sure, Oprah's endorsements of their work sort of took the scenester appeal out of writers like Jonathan Franzen and Jeffrey Eugenides, but that doesn't mean we won't be picking up Eugenides long-awaited (9 years) third-novel The Marriage Plot. The NY-Times review has appeared, and it's largely positive:

"the novel is also great on the patter and pretentiousness of college intellectuals (“The bookshelves held the usual Kafka, the obligatory Borges, the point-scoring Musil”); on the sweet banter of courtship;... and especially on what happens after you graduate, when the whole scaffolding of classes and the college social scene you’ve been training your personality around is suddenly taken away, and you have to grope for a new way to be in the world."

Or...you can just hang around at the Pig and Replay long after grad school and maybe start your own book club

What We Saw at the Farmer's Ball / Bill Self in Leather

We dropped by around 8:30 and caught five of the evening's eight acts. Attendance was mostly sparse during this time, likely because most scenesters don't go out until 11:30 and others didn't realize it actually started early (since L.com didn't bother to list the event at all yesterday).

Here's what we witnessed:

Captain Ahab and the Narwhals: These fresh-faced youngsters didn't look tough enough to be fearsome sea captains, but kudos for dressing the part. They sounded kind of like the Avett Brothers. We enjoyed their cello. Now how about some sea chantees?

Todd: His bandmate in Instant Tradition had other engagements, so Todd just played the guitar and talked a bit about Catholicism and the Occupy Wall Street protests.

Fire in the Churchyard: These two ladies rocked the drums and electric ukulele, but not in a very twee way. They wore homemade masks. They played an obligatory rap number (Wu Tang Clan).

Royal: These dudes rolled in from McPherson, Kansas and proved it's possible to play loud(ish) guitar rock in a live setting while still showcasing kick-ass harmony vocals. Plus, a trumpet!

Strider: Reppin' the Bear Club, Strider delivered a smooth set of socially-conscious numbers such as "Don't Fuck With Ugly Bitches" (Chip: "I love songs with a message.").

We weren't allowed to vote prior to midnight, which sort of makes sense (we had not seen all the bands) but sort of doesn't (there's probably less than ten people who are actually present for ALL of the bands, and we suspect whoever plays latest when the scenesters arrive inevitably advances to the Finals).

Anyway, our vote is...Royal!


---

We didn't make it to Late Night, but it appears that Coach Self retired his Vanilla Ice duds in favor of...the Fonz:

Weekend Cultural Coverage: Basketball, Farmer's Ball, and Food

With Late Night in the Phog mere hours away and Larryville saturated with basketball buzz, it's almost possible to forget that a primetime football massacre is slated for tomorrow.

We assume that tonight's Late Night festivities will offer some devastating satirical sketches about the collapse of the Big 12 conference. Just kidding! We assume that it will involve Coach Self in a Vanilla Ice outfit. That shit never gets old!

But we'll skip Late Night in favor of the Farmer's Ball, where Captain Ahab and the Narwhals can earn our support if (and only if) they can intelligently discuss the significance of each of the ships that the Pequod meets on its voyage in Moby Dick. And they BETTER be dressed in full seafaring regalia, as in this photo:
















At the Bottleneck tonight, one of the Grizzly Bear dudes is performing with his solo project CANT. Is Grizzly Bear still hip? We're not sure.

And at the Replay, the Mouthbreathers are headlining. They haven't played in six days, an eternity by their standards.

Foodies can attend both tonight's Homegrown Lawrence Festival at Abe and Jake's (which features a band called ThunderKat and a balloonist) and Haskell Indigenous Food Festival at Haskell tomorrow, which culminates in a community potluck of dishes containing indigenous ingredients (hopefully not contaminated fish from the Kaw).

And what else? You tell us, and we might even add you to the list.

Scenester Picks of the Day: Pains of Being Pure at Heart, Twin Sister, and Farmer's Ball Pre-Party / Plus, Missed Connections and Fuzzy's Tacos

The Pains of Being Pure at Heart set the blogosphere a-buzz awhile back when their self-titled debut "landed with a bookish and fuzzy aesthetic" (Pitchfork). But are they still hip after their sophomore album? Pitchfork assure us they are: Belong gets at 8.2:

"Pains nudge themselves slightly out of their comfort zone, replicating the motorbike roar of JAMC on "Girl of 1,000 Dreams" or the bliss of My Bloody Valentine on "Strange."

Personally, we liked them better when they more bookish and fuzzier, but tonight's Bottleneck gig promises to be a scenester-worthy show nonetheless, in no small part due to opener Twin Sister. Refresh your memory by looking at our recent post about them.


And if you're not willing to shell out for Bottleneck pricing, stop by the Jackpot for the Farmer's Ball pre-party with previous winners Hospital Ships, Nezbeat, and Will Nots.


















---

We haven't showcased a local Craigslist "Missed Connection" in awhile (they are surprisingly dull), but here's one that we enjoy. The woman in question was spotted at 715:

"Your hair was of auburn red crazy corkscrews, your smile and eyes are infectuous, and your olive skin makes my mouth wet with lust. I'd love an afternoon to give you the pleasures of the universe!"

---

Fuzzy's Tacos is officially in business on Mass. Street, opening up a wide world of new innuendo opportunities for Chip. According to their Facebook, they also have (yesterday at least) $1.50 PBR schooners. This place may be hipper than we thought! And they open at 7:00 am for those who like to "go downtown" and "eat out" early in the morning. One of their logos is a fish that says "Eat me."

Chip: "This place is going to be an endless source of comic gold!"

The KJHK Farmer's Ball Approaches: Tell Us Who's Hip? / Photo of the Week: PETA, Mass. Street, Condom Suit

Readers, the Farmer's Ball has slipped up on us. It's this weekend and we don't even know who's hip enough to deserve our support. Send us tips. As of now we're leaning toward thePhantom* because we like the strange punctuation and the asterisk. In fact, we've blogged about thePhantom*'s mermaid album cover in the past. And we're on board (get it!) with Captain Ahab and the Narwhals (so long as they've actually read Moby Dick and can hold their own in a conversation about the "doubloon" chapter with us after their set). And Strider seems cool because we sometimes tweet with that dude? What else should we know about this year's Farmer Ball?

Or perhaps we should spend the time to actually research all 8 acts over at the KJHK website and vote responsibly? Just kidding! We like to go in fresh, get hammered on PBR, and vote for whomever strikes our fancy at the time.


---

Our photo of the week is courtesy of the LJ-World. It's a PETA member in a "giant plush condom" suit parading down Mass. Street to try and convince people to spay and neuter their pets.

Chip: "Personally, I won't get my dog fixed, but I do insist that he wears a rubber whenever he mounts a bitch."

Read the full story and see a video at LJWorld .

Future KU Basketball Autobiographies / We Look at Esquire's Sexiest Woman Alive / Controversial Pick of the Day: Odd Future at Granada

Sure, there's still a few weeks of soul-crushing losses ahead for KU football, but as of this Friday (with Late Night in the Phog) all eyes will be on KU basketball from here on out. We're going to prepare for the season by reading Tyrell Reed's new book: Reed All About It: Driven to be a Jayhawk.















We suspect the Reed story might be a little tame for our tastes, however. Here are a few suggestions for KU basketball autobiographies we'd be more excited to read:

Love in an Elevator: The True Confessions of Sherron Collins

Moon Bar Knife Fight: The JR Giddens Story

Everything AND the Kitchen Sink: Mario Little's Big Adventure

Tyshawn Taylor: Sex in the Fieldhouse (An Illustrated Guide)

Free PBR for the best alternate suggestion for future KU basketball autobiographies.



---

Each year we wait anxiously for Esquire to tell us who's the Sexiest Woman Alive. This year: Rihanna. She graces the cover and photo shoot naked and covered in dirt and leaves.

Our feminist readers: "There's a terribly disturbing trend of photographing African-American women in 'primitive' or 'animalized' fashion. It looks like she's just stepped out of the jungle. We're surprised she's not riding a fucking tiger or something."

Chip: "I thought the leaves were meant to suggest a Garden of Eden feel. Innocence corrupted. I'd like to rake those leaves, if you catch my meaning. What I mean is that I'd like to see her completely naked."


















---

If you love songs about murder and rape, it's a good night to be in Larryville: Odd Future is at the Granada for a sold-out show.

Let's take a look at a few lyrics from "Orange Juice":

"I stumbled down a hill then I had Jill jack me off
Harder than my dick when Taylor Swift is in my basement
Cause I've been doin' this since Pooh fucked Christopher Robinson"

Richard: "Odd Future's vision is a truly uncompromising one, and 'Orange Juice' is some of their best work. As they dismantle and reverse these iconic images of innocence, everything from Taylor Swift to Pooh Bear, we are forced to acknowledge the corruption beneath the surface of our cherished ideals."

Chip: "I can't get that vision of Pooh raping Christopher Robinson out of my head. I'm probably going to skip the Odd Future show."

Weird Music and Art Pick of the Week: Close/Far Family Tour at Wonder Fair on Tuesday / Scenester Pick of the Day: Not in the Face at the Replay

We try to befriend as many Brooklyn artists and bands as possible on Twitter, because we feel like they hold the key to a secret realm of scenester knowledge that we are keen to possess. So when the Close/Far Family (a collective from Brooklyn, Chicago, Springfield, and St. Louis) asked us to help get the word out regarding their Tuesday performance at Wonder Fair, we were eager to help.

Readers, here is what you will witness: "...a single morphing set of music and sound art through a handmade multichannel sound system/installation/instrument—transmitted through wood, clay, wire, and twine."

Sold. But we're left with two pressing questions. (1) Will this work better with weed or 'shrooms? And (2) can Chip shake his ass to this morphing set?

Read more about the Close/Far Family tour here and watch a sneak preview of the instrument here and respond "attending" to the Facebook page here


---

Not In The Face has a funny name and Chip finds their album cover erotic. They are a duo from Austin. Go see them tonight at the Replay. But first watch this video of their song "Way to Go Baby" in which these two scruffy mustached scamps stop and smell the roses (literally) and playfully wrestle each other in the grass and get shirtless and prance around and drink out of a water hose together. Some of you will love us for posting this. And others of you will swear off this blog altogether because this shit you are about to see is damn near as precious as the Transmittens! Will you take a look ?

Sunday Photo Blog: Hot Rod Hullabaloo / Spot That Mass. Street Occupier / And a St. Vincent Party Pic

Yesterday afternoon we donned our leather jackets, styled our pompadours, and pocketed our switchblades to join the greasers for the first annual Rev It Up Hot Rod Hullabaloo in downtown Larryville.

Our favorite car: the Drag Stripper (which gave Chip a boner):


















We also enjoyed the car with the skull under its hood:

















While we were scoping out cars, Larryville's progressive-minded rabble-rousers were Occupying Mass. Street. Name those progressives in this LJ-World photo and win a free beer after the next protest of your choice! Check out that Gray Panthers shirt. Are they like an old, white, boring version of the Black Panthers?














And for the first time since Kanrocksas, Lcom deemed an event hip enough to publish a set of Party Pics. That event: St. Vincent. Check out this little PBR party. Are these folks hip enough to be drinking PBR?

St. Vincent Review / LJ-World Zombie Photo of the Week

Last night was our first St. Vincent experience and we were suitably impressed. Imagine if one of David Lynch's ethereal songstresses crawled out of the screen and decided she wanted to supplement her dreamy lyrics with occasional bouts of absolutely furious guitar-shredding. It was sort of like that. With blackouts between each song, the concert took on a theatrical aspect, as if each song were a new "act" (an act full of seizure-inducing lights and thick fog-machine fog).

Check out these lyrics from "Dilettante":

"You're like a party I heard through the wall
Invite me
But I'm always watching you through a keyhole
Let's not forget, let's not forget
Let's not forget, where we crawled from

Oh Elijah, don't make me wait
What is so pressing
You can't undress me anyway?"

Chip: "I imagined that she was saying 'Chip' instead of 'Elijah' throughout this song, and I was more than a little turned on."

Verdict: four out of four Free State Octoberfests, even though they were expensive as fucking gold ($4.25?!).

Check out I Heart Local Music over here for a photo gallery and video.

---

Kudos to the LJ-World for this Zombie Walk photo, which perfectly encapsulates the tension between the element of Larryville that wants to "keep it weird" and the element of Larryville that just wants to enjoy a pleasant evening in the park without having to put up with screaming teenagers dressed as zombies.

See more LJ-World zombie photos here

Weekend Scenester Picks: Albums In Full and Art of All Sorts (Most of it in KC)

If you love when bands perform entire albums from start to finish (Chip: "It's the next best thing to staying home and playing the record!"), then this is your weekend. Minus the Bear will perform Highly Refined Pirates in its entirety tonight at the Granada and Midday Ramblers will perform their first album, Free Country Music, in its entirety on Sunday at the Replay (at least they will "attempt to," according to the flyer).

If you're not into prog or bluegrass, reserve Saturday for hip-hop at the Replay with Stik Figa and Ebony Tusks and Ivory Hooves and Motorboater and (rumor has it) a special rapping appearance by Katlyn Conroy (happy birthday!).

But there's art to squeeze in as well. Don't miss the Postcommodity installation tonight at the Lawrence Arts Center. Here's the mission statement from the Postcommodity website:

"Postcommodity’s art functions as a shared Indigenous lens and voice to engage and respond to the assaultive manifestations of the global market and its supporting institutions, public perceptions, beliefs, and individual actions that comprise the ever-expanding, multinational, multiracial and multiethnic colonizing force that is defining the 21st Century through ever increasing velocities and complex forms of violence."

Sounds fun, doesn't it!

And here's the info on tonight's installation:

"The Night is Filled With the Harmonics of Suburban Dreams is an amplified hydro-feedback system in which pool pump motors and circulatory systems, working with and against each other, generate meditative harmonic oscillations. PVC pipes containing the hydro circulatory systems are shaped into a series of geometric patterns that imitate the oscillations of pool pump motors. The work recreates the sonic environment of suburban backyards where ubiquitous pool pumps sing through summer nights."

And you can experience the suburban magic without ever having to set foot in Overland Park! See you tonight at the Art Center, and make sure to follow it up by Occupying Mass Street tomorrow!

Chip: "I wish I could just look at Danny Gibson's poster art again instead."

Chip, you can! There's a second opening at KC's First Fridays tonight. Pay attention to the sidebar. His show was so popular it's being held over, perhaps because scenesters love to stand around and reminisce about attending all those gigs on the posters.

And while you're in KC you should probably also see Marc Shank's "Welcome to Scurvyville," which "simulates a roving eye over the locale of Scurvyville, a fictional tale of lovably bulging eyes, guts, and asses." Click this and tell us this stuff is not super fucking cool.

Chip: "Is Scurvyville meant to represent Ft. Scott?"

















And follow that up with Candychrome, Dirk Hooper's "fetish photography" exhibit. Looks like KC is outdoing us on boner-inducing art. Step it up, Larryville!