Wednesday, November 11, 2009

The Boys' Country Corner Is Back Again! / Also: This Week In Twitter News!

Since the Country Music Association awards are happening tonight, surely we should take a moment to re-open the "country corner." The boys certainly have a clear favorite in the "song of the year" category this time around, and that song is Billy Currington's "People Are Crazy," which recounts a meeting in a bar in which a younger man receives some sage advice from an older man, which boils down to this (the chorus):

"God is great, beer is good and people are crazy."

Richard: "At first glance, the song's abandonment of its parallel, hierarchical structure in the final phrase/punch-line is somewhat annoying, grammatically. But then one realizes that the chaos of the writing style mirrors the existential crisis witnessed in the old man's declaration of life's inability to be understood, a philosophy that the young man inherits later in the song when he repeats the phrase while leaving a 'six-pack right there on his [the old man's] grave.' Tough stuff, and kudos to the country music establishment for continuing to explore the world in all its complexity while everyone else is listening to...Lady Gaga or something."

Chip: "Great song, but it's just not believable to me as male barroom discussion due to the complete absence of women in the chorus. How about 'God is great, beer is good, pussy is neat, and people are crazy.' Or even a simple 'women are crazy.'"


Well, we all know that certain Twitter users have gotten book deals based on their witty "tweets," but now a Twitter site called "Shit My Dad Says" is soon to become...a CBS television sitcom (presumably with the name softened to 'Stuff My Dad Says'). How this will be different from any of the other inane sitcoms on CBS remains to be seen, but let's take a look at a few posts, and you can read more at the site itself (you'll certainly want to!):

"Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn't stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down."

"Your mother made a batch of meatballs last night. Some are for you, some are for me, but more are for me. Remember that. More. Me."

Chip: "Between this, Cougar Town, and VH1's Sex Rehab, television is getting really good."


Dr... you know who. said...

I hate the fucking cunt-try corner.





--Nah, seriously, I love the country corner... I've just missed shitting on Kip for a while!

a boot in the ass! said...

It's the American way!

Make sure to tune in tonight for an epic battle between "Chicken Fried" and "People Are Crazy" for song of the year!

Anonymous said...

In an perfect Lawrence world, don't you think Richard would marry Chip and make a delightful romantic couple?

But it brings to mind who would pitch and who would catch.

Anonymous said...

Dear Anonymous,

That's my name, bitch. And to follow, I suspect Richard is on the bottom. This has been discussed quite recently. But from the bottom, Richard will generate all the power. He is the power bottom. This will challenge the norm of the person on top being in control while it challenges again our nation's norms concerning love and romance. It will also give Richard a chance to plug Chip's ass with some inanimate objects while in between pumps. Finally, Richard will feel the ecstasy that only gourds and squashes and gigantic dildos and bottles of frui-frui bath & body wash have experienced up to this point. Finally, bludgeoning-Chip's-ass jokes have returned. I can sleep soundly.

Anonymous said...

Also, I want Richard to comment on the fact that Pabst Brewing Co. is for sale right now. 300 mil is all they ask. Where are all the fucking hipsters going to go if they can't drink their stinking ass PBR? How are they possibly going to approach women now that their only pick-up line "Hey, I see you're drinking a PBR. Great minds think alike. Want to fuck now?" has been rendered irrelevant? And will the Retard have to close its doors to shitty punk acts and cutesy Williamsburg powderpants bands? God only knows. I just hope the hipsters don't start drinking Budweiser so that I won't have to look back on the last 7 years of my adult life as a complete nihilistic waste of pussiness for drinking the same beer as the hip cult.

The Double Deuce! said...

This just blows my mind that I have had so very little to do with this little slice of genius *laughs*. I want in on it so very badly, but I do believe everything that needs to be said has been said.

I'm sick.

I'm disgusted.

I'm slightly intrigued how this new concept of some kinda super power bottom seems to have granted Richard with powers of the double dick! It's all a very beautiful phenomenon to me.

Except for the part where, apparently, Richard and Kip fuck... possibly a la Humpday, but likely with a lot more Qs fashioned cheese sandwiches. Dis-Fucking-gusting!

--And yet perversely beautiful!

the Owl must fly! said...

I do like the It's Always Sunny references, but I think we all know that the "perfect" Larryville couple is either:

White Owl and his nubile coed


those little old lady lesbians at the Replay

Chip and I would be like third cutest at best.

We might as well stay straight.

I'll look into this PBR story.

And I still think you sick fucks should start your own website, sort of like a Penthouse Letters but devoted entirely to gourdfucking.

Anonymous said...

I think the gourds really do need to be shaped like Kip for it to work. And we'd need more pictures of him... I've been through the archives on here, printed them and placed them on a variety of the more fuckable sliced meats... but, honestly, after a while you just realize that your sticking your dick between a couple of slices of cotto salami.