Monday, August 23, 2010

Deranged Deer Attacks Mass Street! / Kickball Championship / Another Hipster Contest!

Readers, the professional buskers who descended on downtown Larryville this weekend have now packed their hobo trunks, leaving us with a few less dollars, sure, but mainly with lasting memories of MamaLou Strongwoman crushing some chopsticks between her asscheeks. If you see any buskers roaming the streets today, they are probably local and need your tips not to improve their touring acts but rather to purchase necessities, such as booze and meth.

But the streets of Larryville are still weird, even without the buskers. This morning a berserk deer crashed through the window of Weavers department store before being cornered in a backyard along the 800 block of Alabama: "Authorities said they are uncertain how to proceed, but are hoping the deer finds its way toward the Kansas River." (LJ-World).

The LJ-World has offered no further updates, so we are unsure if the deer remains cornered by puzzled authorities who don't realize that the obvious solution is to shoot and butcher the deer and allow Krause to grill up some delicious local venison burgers.

The talkback for this story largely concerns, of course, whether this thuggish deer is from Top City or KC.


Congrats to Los Luchadores on their 2010 kickball championship. We didn't attend, but luckily we were able to follow last night's proceedings via @BARRR's tweets:

"But seriously...Travis from @lovegardensound can blow felt good to remind jock dick lips where they fucking live! #NeverBackDown"

"Holy shit th0...The ppl in Pita Pit fucking suck as human beings. Worst sportsmanship I've ever seen. Absolute fucking morons"

Now let's turn our attention to Townball, tomorrow at 6:00 at Water Tower Park.


Twitter-buddy @faintlyamused alerted us to the existence of a Paste article from last year tracing the evolution of the hipster from 2000-2009, with remarkable pictures of each year's quintessential hipster types.

2008, for instance, is designated as the year of the "Williamsburg hipster": "He thoughtfully hangs shutter shades in the deep-V of his white tee, and he’s often seen walking his fixed-gear bike around town while texting with his iPhone."

2009's hipster is identified as the "meta-nerd": "By wearing the popular Three Wolf Moon T-shirt, today’s hipster makes a mockery of herself. She has finally completed the full-sleeve tattoo."

So what do you think will constitute the 2010 hipster? Whoever submits our favorite answer in the comments section will be rewarded with a free beer of whatever type is hippest this year (if you spot us at the bar sometime).

1 comment:

@BARRR said...

I got a little heated....shit happens. I'm over it. Thx internet. I love Love Garden as a record store. The dude who got all bent outta shape doesn't work for them. I had multiple people from his team apologize to me for his moronic behavior. Idiots who take kickball seriously are ruining this league....lesson learned don't drink and tweet.