This Week In Kansas News: A New Poet Laureate! / Plus, Recent Adventures! / Also: The Return of the Boys' Hollywood Report!

The state's third poet laureate will take the reins this week as Larryville's own Denise Low hands off the position to fellow Larryville poet Caryn Mirriam-Goldberg (obviously, no one outside Larryville writes poetry unless it's about cowboys and rhymes). Let's take a look at a few lines from Goldberg's "Self-Portrait as Woman Who Loves Her Body for a Moment":

"the curve of my belly,
the hips weary of insults when they surge
across the days like prize-winning horses."

Chip: "When I attempted a provocative comparison between women athletes and horses at Quinton's, I received a slap from an angry redhead. Yet when this woman compares an old lady's ass to a showhorse, she is rewarded with a prestigious position. It's hard to understand."

Cl.thier: "With any luck, I'll be the state's fourth poet laureate, and my work is far sexier than Goldberg's.

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After a month's absence, Chip returned to Larryville this weekend and headed straight for Quinton's, where he deemed the summer waitresses to be "second-tier at best." Outside the establishment, Richard spotted a woman taking a picture of her child in front of the Quinton's sign. The boy appeared to be about twelve, and one can imagine he'll tack the picture to his bedroom wall and spend the next six years dreaming about the kind of pussy he'll pick up at Quinton's when he's a drunken frat boy.

Down the street at the Replay, the audience at the early Sunday show was unexpectedly serenaded between acts by wandering troubadour Lance Fahey (pictured below, on accordion) who had transformed Cash's "Ring of Fire" into a song about PBR's. Richard pronounced it "the single most exciting moment in downtown Larryville since we won the national championship."

[photo by Sir Egging, Esquire, of Eudora]
















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In this occasional series, the boys consider new developments in the world of pop-culture. Today's topic: the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences' recent decision to expand the number of Best Picture nominees from five to ten.

Richard: "Well, I suppose that Paul Blart: Mall Cop now has a legitimate chance at a nomination. This is pretty much the death knell of American cinema."

Chip: "I hope Hotel for Dogs isn't overlooked."