"Tits, tats, boogans, trash and nonstop hard rock..."
"I had to just keep following the dude that was holding tight to his girlfriend's tits from behind."
"Amid the bead-tossing by creepy dudes who wanted to see the world's smallest underage tits and the spontaneous mosh pits that kept popping up everywhere, the music lulled. "
Richard: "My critics often say the LC is too 'juvenile,' too 'T & A' focused, to succeed as serious journalism. To them I say, fuck off. Our rock coverage is easily more mature than the Pitch's."
Chip: "I hate being called a 'boogan.' It's more offensive than 'hillbilly.'"
After a promising start to the season, the Royals have now begun the kind of losing streak we know so well (they've dropped 16 out of the last 21 games). Today's LJ-World offers the following assessment:
"Again they look like stumblebums and sadsacks, hopeless also-rans..."
Chip: "Finally, truth in local sports journalism."
With no local stories about cute animals for today's edition, the LJ-World decided to go with a national story, printing a front-page photo of adorable penguins and this headline:
"These penguins, among the largest in the world, are hard to track during Antarctica’s harsh winters, but scientists now can track them using a surprising method: their poop."
Chip: "Any hunter in Forttt Scottt could have told you long ago that poop (we call it 'scat') is an important method of tracking an animal."