Tuesday, June 2, 2009

The Boys Consider Local Rock Journalism, Local Sports Coverage, and the LJ-World's Fondness for Front Page Animal Stories!

The sold-out Rockfest, with Buckcherry and Korn, happened Saturday and the Pitch's coverage largely focuses, quite naturally, on the amount of breasts on display there. Here are a few choice excerpts from their review:

"Tits, tats, boogans, trash and nonstop hard rock..."

"I had to just keep following the dude that was holding tight to his girlfriend's tits from behind."

"Amid the bead-tossing by creepy dudes who wanted to see the world's smallest underage tits and the spontaneous mosh pits that kept popping up everywhere, the music lulled. "

Richard: "My critics often say the LC is too 'juvenile,' too 'T & A' focused, to succeed as serious journalism. To them I say, fuck off. Our rock coverage is easily more mature than the Pitch's."

Chip: "I hate being called a 'boogan.' It's more offensive than 'hillbilly.'"


After a promising start to the season, the Royals have now begun the kind of losing streak we know so well (they've dropped 16 out of the last 21 games). Today's LJ-World offers the following assessment:

"Again they look like stumblebums and sadsacks, hopeless also-rans..."

Chip: "Finally, truth in local sports journalism."


With no local stories about cute animals for today's edition, the LJ-World decided to go with a national story, printing a front-page photo of adorable penguins and this headline:

"These penguins, among the largest in the world, are hard to track during Antarctica’s harsh winters, but scientists now can track them using a surprising method: their poop."

Chip: "Any hunter in Forttt Scottt could have told you long ago that poop (we call it 'scat') is an important method of tracking an animal."


cl.thier said...

I need to make my shows more like Rockfest! (Well, except for everything but more boobs.)

show us your tits! said...

Although an ironic cover of a shitty metal song, coupled with urging the audience to flash devil signs and such, might be quite amusing!

(or a cover of Mountain Goats' "Best Ever Death Metal Band Out of Denton" to please the hipsters!).

cl.thier said...

Sorry, I think Great White is as close as I will ever come.

(Heh heh, I said "come".)

hot toddies my big bottom! said...

G. Love and the Special Sauce's next album?

Smell the G.Love

shit sandwich said...

We've got armadilloes in our trousers!