Chip: "Never heard of 'em. And I still think the turnout would be better for contemporary films. I mean, it's not like we don't have great romantic pairings at the multiplex today. They could screen, for instance, that dog film starring the girl from Friends and that guy who tried to kill himself. Amazing chemistry there."
And today we check in with our readers. Here are a few of their thoughts:
"As a young boy living in Larryville, I looked forward each week to reading the exploits of Harry Lupus. Finally, we had a hero I could relate to. Unlike those pussy Twilight vampires, who barely even kill people, and that Harry Potter (oh, look at my wand!), Lupus seemed to live in a world that was familiar to me, full of people boning each other. And that pudgy bear-kid, K!p, he was real funny! I enjoyed the dick jokes a lot. And when the guy called Dr. X wrote his installments, my mother wouldn't let me read it, so I had to sneak under the covers with a laptop. She said that Dr. X was "depraved." I don't know what that means, but he sure used a lot of big words in between all the "fucks." I miss Harry Lupus and I hope he returns."
"In my sorority house, when we aren't stripping down to our bras and panties for ticklefights or screwing frat boys, the girls love to sit around, naked, and read the Twilight vampire series. I pretend to enjoy this as well, to keep those bitches from teasing me, but what I really enjoyed was Harry Lupus. Unlike that brooding Edward in Twilight, Harry was a guy who wasn't afraid to take what he desired, which was Muffy. Oh, I loved picturing myself as Muffy during the sex scenes, even though the boys who wrote the series obviously had no real insight into creating a believable female character. But now Harry is gone and I suppose I have to keep reading the Twilight books. They don't even fuck until book four, for goodness' sake! It's so unrealistic. I mean, personally, I never even date someone until AFTER I screw him!"
"I enjoy the stories about kickball."
"There used to be a delightful little series here called 'The Boys' Country Corner.' Whatever happened to that?"
"There's a major art vandalism scandal happening on campus and you haven't even reported on it yet. What am I supposed to do? Go to the fucking Journal World for real news? Don't make me laugh."
"While I'm living at home in Forttt Scottt during the summer, I'm scared to check the blog on my parents' computer, because they might figure out that Chip is based on the real me and not be pleased with the things I say, even though I didn't exactly say them in the fashion to which they are attributed to me, if at all. Could you please e-mail me the entries which deal with Quinton's."