Monday, June 1, 2009

Cougar Update! / Plus, Look Who's Twittering Now / Also, Kickball Scores!

Readers, we were so caught up in the opening weekend of kickball that we neglected to report on last week's penultimate episode of The Cougar. But we're happy to report that, at long last, the show delivered what we've been hoping for: hot cougar fucking! Yes, Stacy took the three remaining cubs out for a weekend in Vegas (what better place to find true love than Vegas?) and invited them, one per night, into her elaborate, elegant suite. Jimmy, the front runner, picked Stacy up and spread her out on a pool table, leading the cougar to reflect, later in the episode, on how nice it was for an older woman to have a young cub ready and willing to "throw" her on a pool table. While the show discreetly cut to commercials shortly after each cub entered the suite, Stacy's later comments about needing to "take these relationships to the next level," certainly implied that she had finally banged her way through the three remaining cubs.

Chip: "I can't begin to count how many cougars I've banged on pool tables. They simply love that."

Richard: "In fact, pool tables seem to be an iconic image in pornographic films, although I'm not sure why. Perhaps it's a symbol of status, like swimming pools in suburban literature. Or perhaps it's just the imagery of sticks and balls and holes being filled."


As predicted, Rangelife Records easily defeated Wild Man Vintage in last night's kickball "game of the week." Let's take a look today at their Twitter site, which, as you'd suspect, is generally music related. Here's a sample post:

the greatest song you've never heard:

Richard: "It's a song called 'Where's Your Patience, Dear?' by Matt Suggs, formerly of the beloved Larryville 90's lo-fi hipster band Butterglory. And I was all prepared to make my usual snarky remarks until I discovered that it really is the best song I've never heard."

Chip: "I like it too."

(but is this sincerity real or faked, readers? We'll never tell)


One other kickball score of the weekend stands out:

Love Garden: 24
Solidary Revolutionary Library: 1

Richard: "As usual, the local anarchists simply couldn't get their act together and accomplish anything."


cheever said...

I love swimming pools! (Or do I hate them?)

Baking Cookies! said...

I fucking hate kickball.

But I love to deliver the hot steamy fuck on a billiards table.

--The steam of the ass play massages the felt properly.

where's Dr. C? said...

Surely he will have a theory on why pool tables often appear in porn?

cl.thier said...

While no expert like Dr. C, besides the aforementioned reasons given by N.ggle, I'm going to go with camera angles. The height of the pool table allows the actors to get in a variety of positions not necessarily available with other types of furniture, while also allowing for the camera almost unlimited range of movement to capture those "intimate" shots so key to hard-core pornography.

Chip said...

It's time to chalk up my own cue, if you catch my meaning!