But rumor has it that a few of you other sons-a-bitches read quietly and enjoy reports about animals, so let's turn our attention today to the LJ-World's always-fascinating Opinion page. Now that Larryville progressives have secured important rights for urban chickens and domestic hedgehogs, they are needing a new issue to rally behind. How about...bears?
Charles Wyttenbach's piece called "Shared Blame" begins with this intriguing sentence:
"As I read the article entitled 'As bear population rises, so do run-ins with people,' it became evident that not just the title but the story was slanted to place all blame on the bears."
Chip: "Oh, this is just like a local liberal to always take the bears' side. If a bear were to break into my apartment and rob me--which I expect will soon happen, given the recent rise in crime here--these liberals would say it's my fault that I didn't have a bear trap. Well, guess what, liberals: I do have a bear trap!"
Not to be outdone by the TapRoom's lovely new wrap-around patio next door, the Sandbar has opened their own snug little smoking porch. Sure, it only contains one LandShark-beer table shaped like a surfboard, but that's plenty of room for three sorostitutes to sit and slowly lick the salty rims of their margaritas while the hipsters next door give them sidelong glances, peering into a world they've never known...and never will.