Richard: "In our world of high-speed communication, the truth is that daily snail mail is an antiquated, largely unecessary system that we keep around primarily for nostalgia and comfort: people love the fact that 'not rain, nor sleet, nor snow' can stop the mail. Hell, we could easily cut it down to a three day delivery week and the only people affected in major ways would be bored housewives waiting for coupons, lonely women corresponding with inmates, and a few angry Unabomber types."
A new study this week in Social Science Quarterly claims that boys with unusual names or more likely to turn to a life of crime in their youth.
Chip: "Well, no shit. When I was a lad my schoolmates called me 'Chippi Longstocking' and "fish n' chips' until I got so pissed I threw a rock through the schoolhouse window."
If you've been hearing a bit of extra hipster buzz on the streets of Larryville, it's probably because Los Campesinos! (yes, the exclamation point is part of the name) are hitting town next week for a major show at the Bottleneck. Sure, all of us local self-respecting hipsters abandoned the 'Neck for the 'Pot (Jackpot) many years ago, but an occasional show such as this will lure us to fork over the high-ticket prices (ten bucks) to a see a band whose new album has been described by Pitchfork as "a messy, glorious, and cohesive artistic document of internet café-era indie life that sounds best when sung by heart."
Chip: "Las Campesinos' sounds Spanish to me, but I understand they are Welsh. I assume their name is ironic?"
While the song titles of the Campesinos! generally do not lean toward the overly long, esoteric titles of their hipster counterparts, one can still gain a sense of their 'cleverness' from a title such as "The End of the Asterisk" and their hipster-sensitivity from a title like "Heart Swells/Pacific Daylight Time," which Pitchfork calls "a lovelorn miniature epic, with gusting guitars and Parenthetical Girls-quoting lo-fi vocals which shift midway through to folky strums and scratchy, indecipherable mumbling. If you mistakenly dismissed the band as another set of childish twee-poppers, our special today is crow."
But let us take a look today at some other hipster song titles (and we invite our readers to submit faux-titles of their own in the comment section).
"Dirty Dustin Hoffman Needs a Bath" --Of Montreal
"Upon Viewing Brueghel's 'Landscape With the Fall of Icarus' "--Titus Andronicus (they are opening for Los Campesinos! !)
"The Vivian Girls Are Visited in the Night by Saint Dargarius and His Squadron of Benevolent Butterflies" --Sufjan Stevens
"The Wizard Turns On... The Giant Silver Flashlight and Puts on His Werewolf Moccasins" --Flaming Lips
"Grim And Frostbitten Moongoats Of The North" --Impaled Northern Moonforest ("acoustic black metal" /to our friend King Tosser, you will want to look this up on Wikipedia and YouTube!).