Chip: "I love Guttenberg's work in Police Academy IV: Citizens on Patrol."
Richard: "Television movies are not hip. When will Larryville celebrate Carnival of Souls, which is obviously the best movie filmed here?"
The much-anticipated film Twilight, based on the bestselling series of tween vampire novels, premieres at midnight tonight. Will the boys be there?
Richard: "You bet! I'm counting on the midnight show keeping the kids away, which means that the crowd should be almost entirely composed of awkward gothy twenty-something women who want to fuck vampires. I might even be able to convince one of them I am a vampire, which would give me a good excuse to leave her apartment before daylight so I won't have to eat breakfast with her and her cat, which she's likely named Edward Cullen."
One question the boys love to debate while out on the town is: Which restaurant's waitresses are hottest? Another is: Which is better--KC rap or Topeka rap? With everyone currently excited about this weekend's major Tech N9ne concert in KC, the boys turn once again to this issue.
Chip: "I favor KC. Tech N9ne is hardcore. And look at the lyrics of his song "The Waitress":
"I want a raspberry lemonade, baby, and whatever yo name is on the side
You speak unique, beautiful teeth I just peeped
It's makin me weak to the point I can't even eat
Cause you give me butterflies, them butter thighs need to be publicized...
But I'm thinkin you should be in movies and this you need to quit
Then suddenly under my table I got a kick"
Here he captures the very emotions I often feel at Quinton's. In that last line, I believe he's talking about a boner.
Also, the Topeka rap fans have given local hardcore rap a bad name. Remember how they used to come in and shoot up the Last Call every weekend. That shit was dangerous. With a Tech N9ne show, there's about a 90% chance you won't get shot at." (Chipnote: A Tek-9 is a machine gun.").
Richard: "Oh, but you're completely neglecting the new, hipster-oriented rap scene out of Topeka, led by Stik Figa, the winner of last year's Farmer's Ball. He's always kicking it, hipster-style, down at the Jackpot. And here's how KJHK describes him:
"He proudly reps his home of Topeka ("Top-City!") and raps about real things: being a nerd, being broke, and being dope."
If he's approved by KJHK, he's approved by me. I vote Topeka over KC."