Sunday, November 9, 2008

Is Richard a Hipster, or Isn't He? (Farmer's Ball Edition)

In a shocking blow to his hipster street-cred, Richard's Farmer's Ball pick, the cutesy girl/boy electronica duo called Transmittens, did not advance beyond their first night of competition. What happened?

Richard: "I stand by my comments that Transmittens have the most hipster appeal, and I have two theories on why they lost:

1) The hipsters simply chose not to vote for them because mainstream appeal makes you inherently unhip.

2) The hipsters got drunk on PBR and left for the TapRoom immediately after Transmittens' set, forgetting to vote.

So, who won this year's competition? It was a solo singer/songwriter named Hawley Shoffer, a bit surprising since her name doesn't even rhyme (a la Suzannes Johannes, a previous winner). But Hawley's short set of keyboards, ukulele, and kazoo proved irrestistable this year ("She had me at kazoo"--Richard).

Richard: "She seemed like a somewhat interesting, mousy kind of indie-chick who would probably want to light some scented candles, drink cheap red wine, and listen to Iron and Wine. I'd bang her."

Also on the bill for the final evening were local hip-hoppers Def Ear and Chairman D, featuring one of Richard's former students who promised to "spit some mad English-major rhymes" for Richard---and fulfilled that promise with a song called "Pimp Shit."

Richard: "I'm always vaguely disturbed to see hipsters enjoying hip-hop. We're all just so painfully white."

Chip: "Some folks in South Kansas were saying that Obama was going to replace the National Anthem with Public Enemy's "Fight the Power." Is that true?"

Richard: "I don't think so, Chip."

So, is Richard a hipster, or isn't he?

Richard: "I was drinking Shiner Bock, not PBR. My verdict: not a hipster.

Chip: "Didn't you also see a 'secret' show by Junior Brown at Liberty Hall last night? That kind of word-of-mouth, I-was-there-and-you-weren't kind of bullshit is totally within the realm of the hipster. I think you're one of them."


Hawley Shoffer:
















Junior Brown's hat:

4 comments:

It takes a nation of millions... said...

No, no, no. Obama's changing the National Anthem to this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8c_UdWo4Zek

Flopsy the bunny said...

This is too scary for your readership. More stories about cute animals instead of angry black rappers. Thank you.

madagascar 2 said...

The weekly box-office report is coming soon!

i love odd hipster instruments! said...

But at least the "angry black rapper" story was balanced out by "mousy" indie girl who sings plaintive songs accompanied by kazoo and ukulele.