Saturday, November 22, 2008

This Week in Rock News: Guns N' Roses Chinese Democracy has arrived!

Like all true red-blooded American rock fans, the boys are waiting outside Best Buy today for tomorrow's release of G n'R's Chinese Democracy, an album 14 years in the making. In recent years, skeptics began to doubt that the album would ever see the light of day (Dr. Pepper even promised everyone in America a free soda if the album was actually released this year...and the boys ask you please go to their website tomorrow for your free coupon and enjoy that soda while saying, "Fuck you, Dr. Pepper, great art takes time!").

Chip: "If something takes this long, it's bound to be a masterpiece, and the example I'll use here is Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, which arrived 15 years after Return of the Jedi and was widely greeted as excellent, especially that Jar Jar Binks character."

Richard: "It seems as if Axl's lyrics have really matured over the years. We've gone from the "Panties round your knees / With your ass in debris" of Appetite for Destruction to this album's title-track lyrics: "'Cause it would take a lot more time than you /Have got for masturbation /Even with your iron fist /All they got to rule the nation." The sexual imagery is now employed to make a political point, instead of just to talk about fucking. It's less fun, of course, but who said art is fun?"

Chip: "Exactly. Art is never fun. And Chinese Democracy may well make us think as hard as it makes us rock. And it sounds sweetest when experienced with a free Dr. Pepper."

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