Chip: "A fellow on the street in south Kansas explained to me very succinctly why Americans are willing to tolerate a black man in office but not homosexual marriage. He said, 'Son, one can't help being a black man. But being gay is just something the kids these days pick up at college.' After that, he started shouting 'Gay-U' and went back into the church to preach the evening sermon."
A classic hipster event returns to Larryville tonight: a battle-of-the-bands competition called Farmer's Ball, sponsored by local radio station KJHK. The winner receives free recording time in a local studio but, most importantly, the respect of their hipster friends. Indeed, winning the Ball totally increases a musician's likelihood of getting laid by that cute little indie girl or boy they spotted in the crowd during their winning set.
Richard: "I'm willing to bet any reader five bucks that this year's winner will be the band called Transmittens for these reasons: (a) it's just an adorable fucking band name and their songs have cute titles like 'I'm a Cat' and 'Boo and Sparklemittens' and 'Saturday Socks' and (b) they are a techno duo featuring a male guitarist and a female keyboard player making sweet little beeps and blips. This shit is just irresistable to hipsters. They could lure the hipsters right out of Larryville like rats following the Pied Piper."
Chip: "I'm voting for the band called Frederick and the Six Angry Telephones. It doesn't exactly trip off the tongue, but it reminds me of the kinds of bands my students like, such as Scary Kids Scaring Kids. I'm hoping there are six members in the band and that they all shake telephones at us in a threatening manner at some point during the show."