Richard: "The frat community also contributes some less desirable elements to local life, such as date rape, gay jokes,* and a sick infatuation with the Dave Matthews Band, but we have to agree that a number of Larryville businesses would simply collapse without their support: the Bull, the Hawk, the Dog, the Wheel, Brothers, even Abe and Jake's. This is a week to overlook their faults and celebrate them."
Chip: "As a tennis player, I was never invited to pledge a frat, but I've always admired how much sorority ass those guys get to tap. That's a phrase right? Tapping ass? I assume it originates from the common frat practice of tapping kegs?
[*modified version of a joke from Heathers]
We all know which candidates the boys support for President, but many of you have surely also been wondering who they support in the 2nd District Douglas County Commision Race: Democrat Nancy Thellman, a Presbyterian minister or Republican David Brown, a farmer, rancher, and retired cop?
Chip: "In Forttt Scottt, men preach and women bake casseroles to eat after the sermon. I'll vote for the man's man here."
Richard: "In local races, I always vote for the candidate I'd most like to party with. Boog Highb.rger, for instance. I have no clue as to the man's policies, but he used to dance at the Replay bluegrass shows, and that's good enough in my book. I've known two lady ministers in my time who like to party. I'm not sure about Presbyterians though. They seem a little dull."
Chip: "It's come to my attention that a mainstream comedy about pornography has debuted at #2 at the box-office this weekend, just below High School Musical 3, and I find this disturbing. In small towns like mine, sex is a private thing, something that happens between a man and woman behind closed doors, or very occasionally between a man and a sheep in a hayloft. It's certainly not something to discuss openly and laugh about by subversively using the trappings of a sweet romantic-comedy to legitimize it."
Richard: "Chip, you know as well as I do that at least three or four of our twelve readers (and I won't name names here) have probably beat off to on-line porn already today, on a Sunday! It's gone mainstream. Get with the program. My only problem with this film is that it's not very good."