Tuesday, August 5, 2008

A Taste of Hollywood in Larryville! / Plus, Chip Reviews Summer Cinema, Vol. III: Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 / Also: Guest Columnists!?

A block of Mass. Street was closed all day yesterday as a film crew rolled in to recreate New York in downtown Larryville for a biography of local crop artist Stan Herd.

Chip: "The only thing worse than crop art is a movie about crop art. I'm bored already. Crops are for eating, you Hollywood fat-cats!"

Richard: "I have a small role in this film as a younger, more virile Boog Highberger."

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Chip: "As I have previously explained, this summer has brought us two great films for men: Sex and the City and the incomparable Mamma Mia. Now comes an excellent film for younger men. It's called Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2, and I'm happy to say that it's easily the best sequel since Jackass 2 but works just as effectively for those with no prior knowledge of the series. Basically, what we have here is a tale about a magical pair of jeans that somehow can fit young women of varying sizes and help them feel good about themselves. Feminists, of course, are fond of this 'girl-power' premise, but the truth is that the film might lead impressionable young fat women to feel they can wear any size jeans they want, which simply isn't true. Personally, I feel this film works better for young men, who can learn to appreciate women of different sizes, which is an important part of being a man. In many ways, this film is far superior to the original, at least partly because the girls are now in college and it's perfectly fine for young guys to want to bang them. Viewers should beware that the MPAA has rated the film PG-13 for "mature material and sensuality" (Chipnote: "sensuality" is a word that women often use when describing material about fucking").


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As the busy academic season nears, The Chronicles is still seeking guest columnists to contribute occasional material to keep this blog vital and fresh! We'd love to see, for instance: Bethy's "Stuff Straight Men Like"; "Dr. C's Fashion Roundup!"; Cl.thier's tales of rock and roll excess (featuring sexy groupie pictures!); "Dr. X's Down-Home Country Musings and Front Porch Jamboree"; and "King Tosser's Kickball Corner." Send columns to Nog.

4 comments:

Billy Bad Ass Himself said...

I think Gustavus needs a column here!

--He's a brash, arrogant and free-thinking little shit!

PS -- Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!The Truth is Out ThereChip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!Chip is Kip!

chip said...

I'm strictly a creation of this blog, bearing no resemblance to actual persons living in southern Kansas who enjoy Quinton's.

Let's say... Joe Friday said...

SO, what you're saying then, is that you bear no likeness to a rather pudgy, doughy, mongoloid-like young manboy, more flaccid-republican-knuckle-dragger, named K!p Sm!l!e who happens to pleasure him to the thoughts of sniffing the pumps of the working girls who happen to serve him the trough-swallow he orders so that he can get close enough to sniff the waitresses?

--Because the resemblance is keen!

Cat Mlothier said...

I'm not K!p, but I love me some working girl pumps!