Monday, August 18, 2008

The Boys Favorite Places #7: The Tap Room (Richard) and Chip's apartment balcony (Chip) / Plus, Are You Ready for a Busker Festival?!

In this installment, Richard waxes nostalgic on the 8th Street TapRoom and Chip extolls the virtues of Berkeley Flats living.

Tap Room:

Richard: "Soon after moving to Larryville, my old friend 'Danger' Dan C.rry introduced me to this place, claiming it was the kind of dimly-lit bar where 'gangsters might conduct business.' If by 'gangsters' he meant 'hipsters,' and if by 'business' he meant 'discussing who liked Pavement the most,' then he was 100% correct. Since then I've grown quite fond of the Tap. In my early years in Larryville, it often served as a good pre- or post hangout for shows at the Bottleneck, back in those heady days when the Bottleneck still had shows worth seeing. These days it's a destination in its own right, home to numerous DJ nights in the basement showcasing old soul and funk records. Unlike the Replay, which draws a wide mix of social types, it's okay for hipsters to dance in the Taproom because they're solely with their own kind and they all know they are really too cool to be dancing, which makes it cooler. The TapRoom is so cool, in fact, that they rarely bother to advertise their rare live rock shows. As soon as Ad Astra Per Aspera starts tuning up, hipsters all across Larryville are able to hear it in the same way that dogs can hear high-frequency noises, and they all begin to gather for the show, which will start somewhere near 1:00 a.m, three hours after sound-check."

Chip: "The TapRoom is the only bar scarier than the Replay."

Chip's apartment balcony:

Chip: "I often wonder why anyone would live anyplace besides Berkeley Flats? From the privacy of my balcony, I have a prime view of freshman beauties in short shorts cresting the hill to campus, sweat glistening on their supple thighs. Another amazing view, only recently constructed, is the new football practice field, where 'secret' practices are held right out in the open. From my vantage point, high above, I can watch for K-State and Mizzou spies who lurk nearby attempting to learn our strategies. I can smell a Missourian from a half mile's distance, and when I see one I alert the proper authorities."

Richard: "Chip's area will soon gain yet another attraction: the new Inn and Conference Center in the former home of The Crossing. I'm hoping they keep some hookers on call and have a special rate for 'noon-ers.' "


The Larryville Downtown Busker Festival is just around the corner and of course the boys plan to participate.

Richard: "My act is quite simple. I play a ukulele. And what I lack in technical prowess, I make up for in sheer passion."

Chip: "My act is that I go around punching buskers in the face. Actually, I guess it's not an act. But it sure is funny. To me."

No comments: