Saturday, August 16, 2008

Larryville's Phoenix Awards for the Arts / Plus, The Return of the Students! / Also: The Boys Pick Their Favorite L-Ville Places: # 9

The Phoenix Awards for the Arts are Larryville's equivalent of the Oscars and, as nominations begin, the boys feel they have a good chance at picking one up this November.

Richard: "Name me one other local artistic achievement that has appeared virtually every day this summer and usually provides a chuckle or a grimace. Besides the LJ-World, which doesn't count, because newspapers aren't art."

Chip: "If we win, I'll appear with a bag over my head, because my anonymity is essential to my career and general sense of well-being."


Yes, it's that time of year again and the students are moving into the dorms this weekend. Chip makes a habit of loitering nearby on that day: "Sometimes the ladies need a strong pair of hands nearby to help them carry in their posters and toiletries and such. And I just want to send the message that I'm around if they need anything. And I do mean anything."


Checking in at #9 on the boys' list of favorite Larryville places are Love Garden (Richard) and The Wheel's downstairs pizza shop (Chip):

Love Garden:

Richard: "In this era of downloading, local record shops are the last bastion for hipsters who still appreciate the album as an art form. The record store is to hipsters what the courthouse square was to old men in the past. On a Saturday afternoon, the Love Garden crowd gathers to shoot the shit about how much vinyl they own and the time they had 'a nice conversation' with Thurston Moore at the Eldridge and how their local kickball team is better than your local kickball team. Everyone there is either in a band or sleeping with someone in a band, which actually carries the same cultural weight as being in a band and perhaps more, depending on the band or the instrument the person plays (screwing a stand-up bass player is especially 'in' right now). Also, the place is full of cats, which is sort of weird, but cool."

Chip: "Never heard of it. Sounds like a porn shop."

The Wheel's downstairs pizza shop:

Chip: "Sure, if you want a tasty slice of pie, you'll go to Papa Keno's. But if you want to go to a place where sorostitutes get a free slice for showing their boobies to Pizza Pete, you'll go to the Wheel. That man has seen more titties than, I don't know...Wilt Chamberlain. My goodness, it's impressive the titties that man has seen! Now some might say it's an exploitative situation, but the truth is that the girls feel good about themselves during that brief exchange of 'breasts for pizza' and it sometimes help them sober up a little on the walk across the street to the Hawk."

Richard: "Just out of fairness, they should probably also hire a 'Pizza Polly' so frat boys could whip it out for a free slice."

Chip: "I'd totally show her the package for a pizza pie!"

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