Saturday, March 27, 2010

This Week in Local T-Shirt News / Hipster Pick of the Day

After years of costly litigation, Lew Perk.ns and his wily band of lawyers are finally driving local T-shirt shop Joe College out of business. The downtown store will close Wednesday, so get your hilarious "Cole .45" shirts and other memorabilia while you can.

Richard: "Say what you will about Larry Sinks' blatant infringement on trademark law, the guy gave us some fucking funny shirts."

In other T-shirt news, a local East Side artist has created a shirt which features a reproduction of the recent Oread Hotel graffiti: "SHOUT PEACE." The shirts were all the rage at this morning's East Side YART sale.

Chip: "I have reported these shirts to the local authorities and the artist will soon be interrogated to make sure he or she was not involved in the graffiti incident. Also, I think anyone wearing these shirts should be arrested on suspicion of anarchy. Also, I think anyone wearing a Che Guevara shirt should also be arrested. The guy was a revolutionary."


It's always hip when rowdy young punk stars abandon their noise for a career of sensitive folk, and local hipsters will get an opportunity to witness such a transition today at the Replay when Tim Barry, of Richmond punk band Avail, plays a mellow set for the early evening drinkers. But just because he's gone acoustic on us doesn't mean he can't still kick your ass. Check out this interweb story in which Barry explains the recent asskicking he gave a heckler in Canada:

"I was quickly explaining that this song is about now and living lightly and more kindly in ways that perpetuate good so that there are things left for the people coming after us and as I'm trying to explain this the fucking guy just keeps heckling me brutally, so I invite him onstage. I said no one can hear you so I gave him a microphone. So I said now that you have had your say I'm going to explain to you again what this song is about. So I repeated my words "My best friend Travis killed himself" and he replied, "Well, he doesn't sound like much of a friend," and I just beat the living shit out of him onstage."

Richard: "Replay hipsters are forever running their mouths during all quiet sets, so I expect a full-on brawl tonight. See you there."


Capt. Chanute said...

So is this hipster pussy from Richmond, KS or Richmond, VA? Because if he's from VA, I might show up to beat the shit out of him. If he's from KS, I will likely recruit him for my new band, Scatological Detritus. I've begun work on my first project, a double LP with the first disc (Shit Sandwich) to be released this fall and the second disc (Diarrhea Milkshake) to be released a week later. Fuck Canada.

hipster pussy said...

Wasn't "Hipster Pussy" the name of your former band.

This guy's from VA, and he is not afraid to fight us all!

Capt. Chanute said...

Nice catch on the former project name reference. Did you also catch the reference in the name of my the second disk of the new LP?

I did not said...

No, I'm afraid you've out-hipped me.