KU Junior Lauren Pollmiller uses the "hot coaches" technique (choices based on looks), whereas Scot Pollard, 1320 AM sports commentator, claims (perhaps sarcastically?) to favor the "dumb blonde" technique: "I look at the two names, and think of which color, mascot, city or state I like better."
All of our feminist readers: "Well, I certainly won't be listening to 1320 AM again!"
The article, however, fails to consider what's commonly known as the "Chip technique," the perpetual assumption that KU is utterly doomed. Yes, Chip's bracket reveals he has picked Lehigh in the first round.
Sure, tonight's Jackpot show may not have the pure hipster frenzy of the Surfer Blood show attached to it, but you can bet hipsters are going to pack the house for two Pitchfork-approved bands: Woods and Real Estate.
Woods' new album, Songs of Shame, gets a very solid 8.3 from Pitchfork, which explains their sound in this manner: "On their three previous albums-- released in limited editions on a variety of formats across a choice selection of micro-labels-- Woods created a distinctive blend of spooky campfire folk, lo-fi rock, homemade tape collages, and other noisy interludes, all anchored by deceptively sturdy melodies."
Richard: "I fucking love spooky campfire folk. But I tire easily of noisy interludes."
Opening act, Real Estate, scores an even better 8.5: "The bedrock here (see "Fake Blues") is almost krautrock-y in the way each layer repeats itself, a bent that might prove too drowsy for some. But as is the case for much of the experience, Mondanile adds classic rock sugars throughout, taking off on a solo at the three-minute mark that unbuttons everything really gracefully."
Cl.thier: "Pitchfork's use of clothing metaphors here (layers, unbuttoning) is really quite clever, with the promise of nudity serving to give hipsters a real boner for this album."
Richard: "Wow, I hope that local hipsters realize that tonight's bands combine for a stunning 16.8 on the Pitchfork scale. See you at the Jackpot!"
This one's for Lost-watchers only, but this fanboy's summation of the first six episodes of the current season makes us laugh:
"The season so far, in summation:
LAX: "What's going on?"
What Kate Did: "What's going on?"
The Substitute: "Candidates?"
Sundown: "I'm a candidate?"
Dr. Linus: "Candidates?"